Friend of mine's profile says she's online but doesnt show up on my contact list

Ok now this is kinda wierd. I have this friend from Italy whom I've been getting along with quite well, but last night when I looked at her profile to visit some of the places she goes to, I noticed that it said that she was online, however my contact list doesnt list her as online. I tried to send her IMs but I never got any response. The IM window also says she is offline. Now this is strange. I know that lately she has been having problems with SL and I wonder if this must be a symptom of them.

Could be one of many things.. but
She may still be logged in a region (sim) which hasn't informed the system she is offline.

She may have unchecked the 'can see me online' box against your name.

She may have deleted your calling card.

She may have globaly checked the 'Not show online' in preferences.

When you IM her, does the notification of not being online show in the IM window, after the text?

A while ago, she flickered on and offline on me but when I looked at her profile, it said she still was online.

Whenever I IM her, the notification shows before any text I send her not after.

If the offline appears before you send the IM... and nothing comes through after you send it... she is ignoring you.

If she were truly offline, you would see the following:

Second Life: User not online - message will be stored and delivered later.

Sorry to say, your friend is ignoring you.

Sorry but I really dont understand why she would ignore me. Not only are we friends but we also like each other enough to get a bit liberal with each other if you know what I mean. She is a very nice, sweet, caring, and kind person and I am also that way towards her. We also talk more about ourselves and even she has admitted that we could be a bit more than just friends once we get to know and understand each other better. I had high hopes for her onwards. The last time I was with her, we were going to have another one of our moments but then she told me she was going to be away and that she'll be right back. Then I waited a long while and she was shown as away and she was logged off afterwards.

Later in the day I started to notice that sudden odd thing about her profile.

I really dont know what's going on with her. She has talked much to me about SL being a pain in the neck and I really hope that is just it. But I get easily anxious you know. People, especially women are just too unpredictable it frightens me.

Yes much of this post is off-topic for this forum but I feel like speaking my thoughts anyway.

You'll meet all sorts of people and your first impression may be different from what you later find out. People will say a lot of things and some of them won't be true. It's a sad fact in SL, not really very different than RL.

Unless you can confirm via another means (email etc) that she is truly having issues contacting you in SL... you may ask someone to try iming her, see if she responds to them..
Perhaps the truth is something you may not want to find out.

agree with AWM..........I think for whatever reason, she has chosen perhaps for the time being to ignore you. There could be a myriad of different reasons why she would do that. I wouldn't take it personally. If as AWM suggested you have a mutual friend, perhaps it would be a good idea, to send her a little notecard, via that person - say you accept her decision and the current situation, but offer her your full support if ever she needs it. Keep it light with no heavy scenes. The ball is then firmly in her court and you can walk away knowing that you have done all you can in that friendship. People come and go in sl/rl, the trick is realising when that happens.

well don't give up if nothing happened to get ignored... I've accidentally somehow ignored people before i had no idea i ignored...

You're friend has taken you off her friends list. She seems to have you muted too since the IM's are not being responded to and you don't get the message saying the message will be delivered later. It appears she does not want to talk to you for whatever reason......I would just let it go.

Don't get a mutual friend involved. That would possibly put that friend in an awkward position........something that is not only thoughtless to do but it could end another friendship too.

Just walk away. Delete the calling card from your inventory and move on.

Ask her

I sometimes ignore people if I'm busy, I uncheck the box that allows people to see I'm on line. It's not a big deal.

Oh and do remember, you really don't know this person, don't have to many expectations about who you think she is.

She's playin games plain and simple. You'll see eventually.

Assuming it's not a bug, odds are the first checkbox in their contact list after your name is not checked (thus they would be hidden from your contact list). As to why they're not responding, odds are they have their reasons. It's probably not a bug, and my guess is it's nothing personal; don't bug 'em. Next time you encounter them in group chat or in person and they're not obviously busy, IM 'em and ask 'em what's going on.

That suggests that they're opening their contact tab in the first place and not just deferring all IMs for later use. Remember, "Instant Message" does NOT mean "Instant Answer." If it's that time critical, call 'em on voice.

..... or he is.

2 things from my experience

1-if they are offline, a "janedoe avatar is offline" message appears before you type anything

2-give it some time - there can be periods where the offline/online thingy is messed up - i have been on both ends of that
if it is a bug, it will resolve itself
if not, you will learn that soon because the "problem" will continue

also. . .
if they are online, your message just kind of hangs there
you don't see the "message will be delivered" message

But read the relationship they were having... hardly aquaintencies.

This is probably Mind Games....

I'm sorry that you've had a bad experience that has made you so cynical, but I'm afraid that it's hardly the only or most likely explaination. I've gone literally hours without responding to pending IMs. It doesn't mean I don't like or respect the people trying to IM me, it just means I'm busy and I can't be bothered to talk to someone who isn't in the same room as me in SL at the moment.

maybe she didnt like your dirty talk? This is prolly a technical Issue but not a SL technical Issue. lol

she is hiding her online status. sometimes noobs dont realize there are other ways to detect they are online. she is "selectively" busy. tell her to just use busy. better sl ettiquette

She might have been having problems with SL. SL is very problematic at the best of times, and sometimes it seems Lindens are watching and adding a few extra spanners into the works to set residents against each other (but this is just partial paranoia and not fact of course!).

Or she might just have decided she wants to come into SL and only be available for one or two people, hence why she's chosen to make herself non-visible to those on her SL friends list. Most of us use other means of seeing who is online, but I know I never take it personally if someone doesn't respond to my IM - SL is not RL, and every person comes into SL for their own purpose, not just to be picked up and dropped by other people. It can be very overwhelming to log in and be swamped by loads of IMs all at once; some people deal with this better than others.

Busy mode is next to useless, because while you're using that you can't accept items into your inventory, so if you just want some space to go shopping in SL thats not an option.

It would be ideal if your friend would just keep herself switched on and said "I'm a bit busy right now, but will contact you later if I have time" maybe.

Just don't take it personally that you've been turned onto non-visible. Its the way of SL, and it is only SL.

You never know what is going on in another persons mind. You just have to take it for what it is regardless of how hard it is. If and when they are ready they will get in touch with you. In the mean time, go out have fun and make lots of new friends. You never know when you will meet someone special.

when a friend of mine in old days didnt show up online we would send her a linden and it worked but that was yrs ago lol

that should still work, either that or a notecard...