Taking SL to RL..

Hi all,

Well been playing SL for over a month now. I have met lots of people sadly not many genuine. However I have met a guy from the US.. we were good friends but now have kinda moved to the next level. We talk on the phone and I'm flying to the US to meet up.

I will be in my own hotel and am taking safety measures.. however we are both falling for one another.

Have you met people from SL in RL and how did it work out?

I have met a friend from SL who just happened to live only 100 miles north of me. It was a lot of fun, actually! I do also hope to meet plenty more folks at the SL Convention next month

Unsafe, do not do! You could 'know' an internet entity for years, only to find out they are not what they claimed to be.

Please at least bring someone you trust with you.

Since she is flying to the US that may be difficult to do.

My recommendation, pretty standard: Don't tell him where you are staying. Meet in a public place, during the day. Tell at least one person where you are going and when you should be expected back.

Other than that, we are adults and all of life entails some risk. People have met, fallen in love and married via the internets. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And you take a risk just meeting someone at a local pub, who could be a psycho.

But, yes, be very cautious no matter how much you think you know him. Treat him as you would any stranger at first, even though all your feelings are telling you otherwise.

Edit to add: And Good Luck!

I've met hundreds of SLers in RL, and just about all of them have been very cool, warm, wonderful people. I think you get a better sense of someone's character through Second Life for some reason than on most places on the Internet.

Regards,

-Flip

Good luck, you seem to know all the risks and what to do. On a happier note, I met my partner on a chat room ( no SL then!) where we met up after a month and we have now been living together for six years so far

I met someone online (not SL) - we talked (phone) and typed for quite sometime.

I flew to the UK to meet him. I had a backup place to stay in the UK if things did not work out well.

All was well. It was fine. It was like meeting my best friend for the first time. RL is not SL tho and RL may not live up to dreams and images in 'mind'.

Good luck and heres to majik =D

if I may make an interjection, and yes this is from experience.....

Moving SL to RL is a huge step and needs some time. Don't do this on a whim, and don't do it on a one month knowledge of someone. Take it from someone who knows, going too far too fast can not only ruin any chance of a RL relationship, but can mess up the SL one pretty bad too.

Take your time, and realize your making a HUGE gamble by doing this. Odds are if you don't "Mesh" in RL it will probably screw up the SL relationship as well.

Anywho my best advise is to just take your time with this

You know what, I kinda agree with you Lupus. On second thought and a re-read of her post, one month is too short a period to know someone online.

Although you seem determined to do this, Andrianna, please be careful, of your feelings if nothing else. A month is a nanosecond in internet time. Even in rl, you aren't past the stage where you start to see the real person behind the mask we all wear, yet.

Make sure at least one person knows where you are going and the full name address and phone number of the person you are meeting

Arrange check in times with the friend back home by phone so that if you do not check in that person can call the police with the information (do not tell the person you are meeting that you are doing this so that if things go bad he will not be simply forcing you to check in)

Donot meet at the airport and ride away in his car, instead rent your own car, go to your hotel and call him from there to meet in a public place

make the person you are meeting send you proof of his identity so you can give it to your friend (ie photocopy of drivers license, electric bill, phone bill, etc) if he is not willing to take the risk of giving you this you should not be taking the greater risk of meeting

carry cell phone with you at all times that will work in the area where you are travelling (buying a prepaid phone will work for this)

and ask him for a DNA sample.

Packing some heat is a good idea too. Always makes the night go smoother for everyone. I have a Ruger somewhere that you can borrow.

I hope he sent you round trip plane tickets, is paying for all expenses, and is a very generous man.

Otherwise, yes its a very bad move on your part

Everyone is doing the internet dating thing these days, so why not SL dating?
As long as you're a sensible adult, you'll be fine. Don't tell him where you're staying before you meet IRL, ask for ID beforehand if you feel its neccessary, and maybe some cam-to-cam chats. Meet in public place, and have an excuse to leave early if it doesn't work out, a friend calling you works great.
I met my RL hubby on a gothic dating site, and after one chat we met up. Sure, I was more immature back then, but I knew where he worked, his name and phone number and told a friend the info.
Don't worry too much about it, or you won't be able to have a good time. Best advice? Follow your instincts, if it feels weird for any reason, bail.

Good luck!

I went to meet my (now ex-) SL boyfriend last fall. It all went very well, he was a nice guy, we had a wonderful time. I probably should have been more careful (I told people I was going to a job interview because it was kind of embarrassing for me to say I was going to see this guy I met online), but I had known him for almost 6 months, talked with him on the phone, knew his contact information, etc. and left that on my work and home computers, just in case...

But, Majik is right. Once you meet a RL person, your "inner picture" of them changes a great deal, and that had an effect on our SL friendship/relationship in the long run (much much later actually). I don't regret meeting him though, at all, and felt like what was "known" in SL was confirmed by the RL person I met. There were just some changes that happened much later that I'm sure were probably prompted by the meeting in real life after we'd both had time to process it happening.

Just something to consider.

Wow. You move fast! I've been in for around the same amount of time and I couldn't possibly imagine being in this situation already, if ever. I'd definitely be as cautious as possible. As others have said, public places only, don't disclose your hotel...one month is really long enough for you to let your guard down.

WTF? We live in the age of equality. Women and Men pull their own weight.

We're no longer in caveman days where man do all.

"I'll be wearing a red rose and a bullet proof vest. See you soon, my love. xxx"

Um ... no sorry k.

???? Huh?

We're in the modern age. How can you deny that?

Let's just call it payback for dragging us around by our hair back then.

You made me lol, for real.

I agree with every word of this, but... if I may insert my own L$0.02 ... surely, if you are going to screw up the SL relationship too, then it's way better to do it after a month than after a year.

I agree!

Alot of SL relationships are built on false assumptions. If those assumptions turn out of be false, then the relationship should never have happened in the first place.

For example - assuming your partner is a girl when it turns out she's really a gold fish, is the classic one. The quicker you find out that they spend their days in a glass bowl, the better.

When I first read this I thought you were saying that SL relationships were built on false assumptions, which when turned out to be true, ruined the relationship. That made total sense to me.