Police Blotter...huh???

Date: Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Violation: Indecency: Global Standards: Profile
Region: —
Description: Nude pics and profanity in profile.
Action taken: Suspended 3 days.

Pol Tabla had not engaged in any pixel bumping for almost a week, and it had gotten so bad that it was beginning to affect his RL work performance. Pol was known on IRC to go on at length about his insatiable need for "hot avatar lovin'" and to talk about how if he was deprived of pixel sex he would inevitably "go bugshit crazy." It was when he absentmindedly mimed right-clicking a female coworker's butt and then shouted angrily "where's the goddamn pie menu?" he knew that things had gotten out of hand.

For whatever the reason, the female avatars at the sex-themed SL clubs he frequented weren't buyin' what he was sellin'. (Perhaps word had gotten around about his collection of elaborately scripted and interconnected poseballs with their interminable and bizarre Rube Goldberg-esque cascade of contorted animations, disturbing sounds, and unspeakable particle effects.) Regardless of the cause, Pol had gone without for long enough, and he was on the verge of snapping.

Desperately he tried to discern the source of his sudden dry spell.

In appearance mode he assessed himself with a critical eye. The Pol Tabla avatar had long inspired admiration from the ladies and envy from the men. No problem there (and no further room to crank the "package" slider).

Pol also had his chat skillz honed to a science...he spoke in an irresistible combination of 1337-speak, intercaps, and rap slang over which he liberally sprinkled emoticons like jimmies on a sundae. Women simply loved it. Again, no problem there.

Pol was beginning to realize it wasn't his SL persona that was the problem...it was the uncertainty of his RL identity. Of course! He quickly rifled through his inventory, found his "slap_forehead_w_sudden_revelation_3" animation, and played it. The ladies of SL had obviously become much more sophisticated in recent months, and it was no longer enough to have a stylin' avatar, or to talk like a high-schooler with brain damage. The ladies needed to know that he was as as kick-ass in the real world as he was on The Grid.

But how? How could he show he was a real man, with real man parts?

The photo session took about thirty minutes. The first batch of photos were too blurry to use, so he tried again with less strenuous poses, and the shots came out much clearer. Maybe a little too clear. After a couple of hours in Photoshop he was satisfied with his "candids," selected the best one, and put it in the photo space under the "1st Life" tab in his profile. After some consideration he added some text underneath: "Gr33tingz sexxxy Ladeez!!! LOOKING 2 SCORE? This is actually me, don't B afraid!! If you are a guy tho, FUCK OFF, it's not for U. I MEAN IT!!!! "

Although he started receiving IMs almost immediately ("I did not need to see that.", "AR'd. AR'd. AR'd.", "Ew! Is that a mole?", "I will buy your island sim for $$$$", he did not reach the attention of the Lindens until he posted three dubious "~~SEX PARTY BRING YOUR MOST THREADBARE THONG HOT GIRLZ~~" entries to the event listings.

Pol was very disappointed to discover, as he was about to "host" his first "sex party," that he suddenly could not log into Second Life.

This seems like an excellent idea. I agree that each case should have a personal review, but those two words in the blotter would make all the difference. Otherwise it give people the wrong idea.

"That so-and-so won't get away with this! It's worth a two week suspension to make them suffer! Let them suspend me, when I get back I will make that so-and-so's life hell again in a different way!"

What it says now is not much of a determent in my opinion.

I wondered what happened to that event...Damn LL..tryin to keep a playa down

Jane exhaled abruptly, standing behind Jack.

"You're still on the computer?! I have email to check, you know."

Jack forced a smile to his lips, internally wishing he could send Jane elsewhere, like an errant packet refused at his router port.

"Yeah, be a minute - I have to handle some SL business."

"Sure - but don't expect dinner to be waiting."

Jane stomped off, her knock-off platform shoes squeaking pitched protests against the hardwood flooring.

Jack shook his head, wishing the nightmare was over -- but there he was, with a major drama queen, sucking his bank account dry, and the best part -- he had invited her into his place, practically begging her to move in with him.

Looking back, it wasn't the smartest move.

Sure, the sex was great, but after getting home from work, the last thing he wanted was to face up to her rambling recounting of her daily activities, including (most importantly to her, it seemed) how many things she had bought with his money.

There was a way, though....Jack thought, smile springing to his face - quickly smothered by his internal sense of Jane's proximity. Godammit - she was going to vacuum the hallway outside the den. She *knows* I hate that, he thought.....if only....

Jane's cheap shoes discarded, she padded about the hallway like a trapped cat, whipping the cord of the loud-as-demons vacuum cleaner like some cybernetic tail. Lashing angrily, twitching here and there, occasionally tweaking the wall with a percussive snap.

Jack looked up in the monitor mirror, timing his moves - Jane moved out of sight, the vacuum cleaner dopplering slightly away as she rushed down the hallway. Jack twitched his eyes back to the now-waiting SL login screen.

Name: J---

He suddenly tensed and had an irrational rush, a feeling that Jane was standing behind him....but no, adrenaline pulsed blood cooled when he realized she had merely paused to turn on the TV, to the shows he never bothered to watch with her, anymore.

Name: Jane
Password: ********

Logging in, knuckles whitened, he quickly assessed her L$ status in the upper right.

$52,000

Perfect, he thought. With an economy of movement, Jack dispatched the motions that would transfer a few 'spare' electrons to his alt account, then quickly logging off, he noticed Jane backing into the Den, apparently in a attempt to 'remind' him of her precious computer time.

The deed done, Jack sprung up from the chair, and squeezed past without a word.

Jane discarded the vacuum cleaner, and as the handle raked across the hallway paint, he decided to get out....maybe.....he wouldn't be coming back, this time..

"I'm going to get a DVD.."

"Mmm yeah."

Jane's reply echoed hollowly from the Den, as jack took his keys, a favorite backpack, and the flask he had been hiding in the front hall closet....

Maybe Cindy was free tonight....

Maybe....

... We have always sat in the chairs -- that's what Flipper told me and Flipper knows everything. He was raher puzzled by my question and to be honest, so was I. How can there be anything beyond the dark room with the chairs?

Rather distressed by this notion, I found myself gnawing on my fingernails to the point one of them was starting to bleed. I glanced over towards Flipper and he seemed perfectly content with the world, slumped over without a word after I had questioned him.

He was always in his chair as long as I can remember and, as he pointed out, he can't remember me ever not being in mine.

The distress was daring to inch towards a full blown panic, as I had realized what I had done. I had wasted what was a rather special time to me on this absurdity. It's not often I heard much of anything from anyone and now I'm stuck wondering if I may hear anything from anyone ever again. I should have asked him if he had money. He may have some this, time...

Of course, we were always in the chairs -- What a stupid question to have asked him!

Shifting about in my seat, as if there was any other position to really be in other than the slouch, I indulged myself by glancing around. A collective of anonymous bodies in an empty room with the pretentions of life when someone dared to stir from their aimless coma.

There was a point to this, a bigger purpose of why I was here, I think, but whatever it was has long since been swallowed by the jet black walls of this room. Too much effort. That's what slurred through my addled mind as I began the slouch, head dipping low as I accept the embrace of the chair.

Too much effort. I don't think it's worth knowing why I'm in this chair, anyway. Next I'll be asking why Maxx's dong is talking to me...

I personally think an IP ban would be the best solution, when it comes to this sort of event.
The perps need to be banned permantly from entering SL via their existing IP's.
Ip bans are used in SOF2, BF2, and other games using punkbuster to catch cheats, or a ban can be administered by the Server Admin. In any case, Linden should have the tools to do this, I'm sure!! And if so, is it implemented ?? Sure would make it hard for some of the known Violaters to create additional accounts using the same IP.
Just a thought!

You think they don't try that on top of other blocks? Some people still come back every other week.

SL uses a bit more than IP bans alone -- individually IP bans can be worked around fairly easily (sockscap + a SOCKS proxy will do the trick).

LL use billing/signup details (credit card #, paypal address, etc), IP address, MAC address and a few other details. Since you have to have a valid account, it is somewhat easier to ban users than with other anonymous services.

-Adam

Ban by credit card number + domain. Foolproof. Problem solved

Then again, if these griefers are as serious as they seem, they probably have a few cards stockpiled.

This isn't foolproof. I can think of a way around it that would be pretty easy. I won't post it because I am not going to help the jerks grief us all, but trust me, there is a way around this kind of ban.