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Your safety is important

Brenda Archer
Registered User
Join date: 28 Apr 2005
Posts: 557
10-04-2006 03:05
In light of recent incidents, I wanted to share the following suggestions for safety. By no means are all these ideas original to me, and if anyone has any thoughts to add, please share them.

If you're new to SL, and you want to feel safe in-world, while still getting the thrill of walking the metaphorical edge, you may want to try this: buy yourself some First Land. Buy your land in a mainland area and don’t advertise its location. Should anyone hassle you, you teleport home. If you think any problems might come up from someone on Friend list or someone who knows where you went, make yourself the only avatar allowed on your land, disallow push, outside scripts, and object creation. If someone from your Friend list tries to follow you, they’re not on the land list.

If you can't have land, keeping landmarks to public safe places handy can also be a good idea. I once set home for my alt to a high altitude over a Welcome Area. Landmarks also include altitude now. A public void sim would also work for a landmark, say underwater. Get familiar with public spaces. You can now log into the sim of your choice. You can even set a SLurl.

Do not give out your real life information easily. Especially, do not give it to anyone who seems manipulative or abusive, and do not give it to a group of people. No level of SL consequence is worth exposing yourself to a real life hazard. If someone tries to press you for RL information or control, run. Don't ever, ever give someone your password or access to your account, which is a violation of the Terms of Service anyway.

I strongly object to any scripts that would nonconsensually track someone's location in a distant sim, as this goes way beyond roleplay. This is a very different thing from wearing a object you can freely remove. Don't be afraid to report a stalker when they're violating the Terms of Service.

Have a strong personal commitment that if roleplay goes too bad, you’re willing to give it up. Odds are good that it will not. If it does, there’s a ton of other interesting things to do in SL, including more sensible roleplayers. If you’re not having fun, something isn’t right and should change. Your safety is more important than membership in some clique or group. Your safety is more important than any abstract theory, philosophy, or game.

Finally, don't be in the habit of being intimidated. Six foot avies are not able to beat up four foot avies. Enjoy the freedom that comes with the impossibility of physical coercion. If someone's obnoxious to you, tell them to stop. Real life training in assertiveness and safety can be very helpful, as can the advice of friends who've survived challenging situations. Don't base your self-esteem on the way strangers treat you. Don't assume self-appointed authority figures should always get their way, or that the herd is always right. Emotional abusers often use the same tactics that manipulative cults use, so that is something to be aware of. Whatever you do, don't assume there is someone to make things the way they "should" be. Build your own safety.
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Romantics Rejected
More reject than romantic
Join date: 23 Aug 2006
Posts: 57
10-04-2006 03:07
While none of this is new to me, and while this is not a forum i belong in, I suppose, I just thought I'd reply with a quick thank you for a well thought out post, even if I did not find it helpful personally your time and effort was appreciated.
_____________________
There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who dont.

- DJ
- Host
- Artist
- Designer
- Clothes Designer
- Events Planner

Available, just PM me!
Usagi Musashi
UM ™®
Join date: 24 Oct 2004
Posts: 6,083
10-04-2006 03:15
Brenda Archer you know i had a fool try to hack in to my email..ANd it turns out it was a jerk thinking he was so cute...... I don`t understand people these days on sl.....how in the hell do they think they can get real information from you here.I had a jerk once ask me for a paypale account info so he could put money in it! what a jerk like i was going to give him real infor! Gesh f they can`t pay for things in rl and then come here try to trick you out of money! This new secondlife is one hell of a nightmare, and you must protect yourself.
Romantics Rejected
More reject than romantic
Join date: 23 Aug 2006
Posts: 57
10-04-2006 03:17
Well as SL continues to grow people will be joining it as one of the first communities they join on the internet, and wont know that theyre being scammed, it happens, everyone learns somehow, good or bad, and constant reminders of whats ok and whats not helps keep the new knowledgable.

But these scams must work on someone or they wouldnt bother?
_____________________
There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who dont.

- DJ
- Host
- Artist
- Designer
- Clothes Designer
- Events Planner

Available, just PM me!
Usagi Musashi
UM ™®
Join date: 24 Oct 2004
Posts: 6,083
10-04-2006 03:25
with all these alts.its just as scary as in rl....Since LLabs is slowly reducing the protection for us by not keeping records etc.....One day well read the news how someone traced and found out some on on sl .............god help us what results are.......I had map me and say he was in japan and wanted to met me.....Oh yes right like i would really do this!! I had a few jerks like this mapping etc.thisis why LLabs needs to make a better way to keep friends then current way.
Brenda Archer
Registered User
Join date: 28 Apr 2005
Posts: 557
10-04-2006 03:58
From: Usagi Musashi
with all these alts.its just as scary as in rl....Since LLabs is slowly reducing the protection for us by not keeping records etc.....One day well read the news how someone traced and found out some on on sl .............god help us what results are.......I had map me and say he was in japan and wanted to met me.....Oh yes right like i would really do this!! I had a few jerks like this mapping etc.thisis why LLabs needs to make a better way to keep friends then current way.


Yes. I'd like it if there was a way to turn off the ability of friends to map you, before you log in. It would make it easier to get rid of someone being a problem.

People are so naive online and ask the dumbest things, I sometimes laugh at them. But trying to steal your PayPal account, that's amazing. I hate these bullies in RL and I guess they're here now too.
_____________________
Brenda Archer
Registered User
Join date: 28 Apr 2005
Posts: 557
10-04-2006 03:59
From: Romantics Rejected
While none of this is new to me, and while this is not a forum i belong in, I suppose, I just thought I'd reply with a quick thank you for a well thought out post, even if I did not find it helpful personally your time and effort was appreciated.


You're welcome.

And I LOVE your sig.
_____________________
Usagi Musashi
UM ™®
Join date: 24 Oct 2004
Posts: 6,083
10-04-2006 07:17
From: Brenda Archer
Yes. I'd like it if there was a way to turn off the ability of friends to map you, before you log in. It would make it easier to get rid of someone being a problem.

People are so naive online and ask the dumbest things, I sometimes laugh at them. But trying to steal your PayPal account, that's amazing. I hate these bullies in RL and I guess they're here now too.


What really makes me wonder is how do these nuts people are so brainless. I had a ex partners on sl on yahoo threaten me because i didnt do waht she wanted.. This action showed me how danerous the game can be.....SL is a game ( or a life ). But that don`t give them the right to cross the line into rl......... :rolleyes:
Romantics Rejected
More reject than romantic
Join date: 23 Aug 2006
Posts: 57
10-04-2006 13:33
I made the mistake of making a very deep friendship with someone and telling them my real life problems. They co-owned a website with me, when the website got popular he decided he wanted to take over so he told a few people about some of my problems and asked them to 'attack' me on subjects related to them, so I would get upset, then he spammed the suicide support forum I used telling them not to trust me and I was a manipulative bitch etc... meaning I was too upset and paranoid to post there, leaving me utterly alone. I admit (to my own disgust in retrospect) thatI did attempt suicide that weekend, not just because of that but it didnt help matters much.

Any information you share can be used against you.

and THANKS, I love my signature too *giggles*
_____________________
There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who dont.

- DJ
- Host
- Artist
- Designer
- Clothes Designer
- Events Planner

Available, just PM me!
Brenda Archer
Registered User
Join date: 28 Apr 2005
Posts: 557
10-04-2006 23:41
From: Romantics Rejected
I made the mistake of making a very deep friendship with someone and telling them my real life problems. They co-owned a website with me, when the website got popular he decided he wanted to take over so he told a few people about some of my problems and asked them to 'attack' me on subjects related to them, so I would get upset, then he spammed the suicide support forum I used telling them not to trust me and I was a manipulative bitch etc... meaning I was too upset and paranoid to post there, leaving me utterly alone. I admit (to my own disgust in retrospect) thatI did attempt suicide that weekend, not just because of that but it didnt help matters much.

Any information you share can be used against you.

and THANKS, I love my signature too *giggles*


You're welcome. I sure am glad you're okay now. Gawd what some people will do. I trust too easy and need a whack upside the head sometimes to remind me it's okay NOT to.
_____________________
Usagi Musashi
UM ™®
Join date: 24 Oct 2004
Posts: 6,083
10-07-2006 12:05
Some people arent so lucky..........But atleast you made it though.......