Off-topic humour thread?

There used to be one on the last forum I frequented - Moderator please delete if consider inappropriate/unsuitable.
Regards.


Subject: FW: Re: Double Entendres

Double Entendres

Michael Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage
remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and
he's just come in his shorts"

Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes

to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World
superbike racing: "Colin had a hard one on in practice earlier, and I

bet he wished he had a hard one on now."

Winning Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's
formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes

what he sees."

Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond:
"Well Phil tell us about your amazing third leg."

Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night
like this."

James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:
"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Rubens
Barrichello?"

Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better
today after a 69."

Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a
big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a
night about coming from different positions."

Steve Leonard, talking about vegetation on Vets In The Wild, told
Trude: "There's something big growing between my legs."

Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live

said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob,
where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did
HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they
were laughing so hard!

US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is
playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his

balls and kisses them... Oh my God!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"

Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse.

I once rode her mother."

New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl
Gibson comes inside of him."

Pat Glenn - Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from
Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

LOL bilbo99, thanks for the laugh. Here are three from the world of cricket. Sorry - I can't remember who the commentators were.

"Ray Illingworth, relieving himself at the Pavilion end."

"Next we had Derek Underwood, tight as usual" (commentator looking back at the day's play).

Then there was this memorable occasion. Four balls of the over had been bowled; the fifth struck the batsman, er, amidships. He was doubled up in pain for several minutes and then resumed his stance to face the final ball of the over. The commentator uttered the unfortunate words "He only has one ball left".

I believe these utterances are called Colemanballs because David Coleman made so many slip ups of this sort.

Nah, don't delete, please.

Made me laugh on an otherwise grey morning.

Thanks bilbo99

Off-topic or not, that stuff was funny.

Thanks for the belly laughs. Always welcome IMO
-sylvia

When are you guys going to get it through your heads?

If you keep spamming this board with inappropriate or off-topic posts, we'll lose this forum, too!

Please go post your jokes on some place like SL Universe or whatever.

Now thats laffable too, how much more can they take away and still expect us to pay and pay dearly...loved the thread guys...was refreshing and fun

Sorry some of you feel negative about this thread. I did start by asking moderators to delete if deemed unsuitable. It's clearly labelled Off-topic. I hope the majority though approve.

Francesca, your Colemanballs was published in small format books some years back - my personal favourite (sure it was one of his) was one cricket match as the bowler lined up to run: The bowler's Holding; the batsman's Willie

No one does double entendres like us Brits. We are ace at it, to be fair. Pity we have to use a French name for it then.

Now if you had said "What double entendres have you heard people say in SL?" then it would have counted as on-topic.

Dr Tardis, seriously, what is your problem? You've like one of those people who buys their kids an expensive toy and then tells them they can't play with it unless they break it. If we can't post stuff like this, then the forum is totally useless anyway and may aswell be closed.

I like Margarate Thatcher, in reference to Lord (William) Whitelaw, then head of the Commission for Racial Equality, "Everyone needs a Willy."

Despite having a sense of humor and finding the jokes amusing; this thread must die. The SL forums do not have an off-topic/general forum anymore. The SL forums are transitioning from a social forum to a support forum. The are a few third party SL forums that have embraced the roll of being a social forum for SL. Seeing that a social forum is redundant, the SL forum doesn't need to be one anymore. The biggest issue with a social forum is that it is very difficult for it to maintain civility. The SL forums are governed by the rules of SL and these rules require civility. On the one hand people want to speak their minds; on the other, the rules that govern the SL, make SL a bearable place to live & work. The best solution for this conflict is to not have the SL forums under the rules of SL; which can only happen on third party forums. It saddens me that we can't have an official social forum, maybe things in the future will change. Until then please take this thread elsewhere.