Best way to deal with a problem neighbour?

Hi

Looking for a little advice...

Since buying the land where we are based, our property borderd a plot which is 2048sqm. The owner of this plot sells freebies for L$1 a time.

For the last few months we have ignored the big spinnig cubes and globes, and buyers of these freebies testing thier weapons. We tollerated it for the benefit of being a good neighbour.

A couple of days ago, he started to rearrange his store, and I noticed he had placed some items just over our border. This would not have been too much of a problem, except they were using our prim allowance. The guy was there, so instead of just returning the items, i popped over to have a friendly chat with him. I explained nicely that the stuff was over the border, and was using our prims. Seeing that he had spent a bit of time setting up the display, I said it would be easier for him to drag the items back over to his land than me return them all.

He insited that they were on his land, and he would not move them. I then said "I'll just return the items on our land back to you, ok?" - he replied, "yes, thank you".

So I flew back over and returned half his store to him...

A couple of hours later, I discovered that my partner and I had been banned from is land... I asked him why, and ignored me.

Bear in mind i own land on three sides of his, and the fourth is group entry only. I retaliated by banning him from our plots, stating that if he unbanns us, we will do the same.

Today, he has now started construction of huge walls around his plot using megaprims. After attempting to talk to him and reason with him, he said "if you want the walls gone, you buy the land for L$95,000"...

I'm not going to pay L$95,000 for a 2048 plot - to me it's blackmail.

Does anyone have any other ideas on how to handle this?

I have (not sure if it is wise or not) set up a notecard giver on a neighbouring plot giving out "Dont pay for freebies" notecards and a list of free places - I don't like to do this, but it seems I'm powerless to do anything else...

Gomez

In my opinion:

You tried the nice thing, re: the prims on your land, by going to talk to this person.

You tried the tit for tat thing, re; ban walls.

They're doing the mega-prim wall thing now (this is the typical next step).

Dont do anything even mildly close to breaking ToS, and the first centimeter of wall that crosses the line over your parcel, AR them with a screenshot and see if there are any Lindens in-world who answer an IM. (Word it pleasantly, but frustrated, and that will get you the best results).

Sadly, the bottom line is that Lindens won't get involved (beyond a certain degree) with resident conflicts.

While I'm not a fan of the usual chant: "Mainland sucks, just sell your land and move to an island" it seems that may be the only choice for most. I ended up doing that myself, since my neighbors were even worse than the situation you've shared. *sigh*

Sorry this is going on for you, Gomez. It happens all over

-Dea

Mega prims are a hot item. You may consult a Linden about that. Don't forget to mention the items on your land.

Make you AR good and well documentated. No angry emotions or attacks.

He can build very ugly walls? You can make very nice ones on your side... Nice mountains or forest? Place some trees and plants in front of it and you are done. If you want an example, IM me later today in game and I show something I have used in the past.

Morwen.

i have a few suggestions for you and they all depend what you have on your land
set all your land that surrounds his to your group
put it for build/scripts/object entry to group only
set access to group only
no push

if your land is for a business you can not set it to access group only or you will get no business but the rest can be group only
report him for all his abuse report each mega prim by right clicking it and chosing more ill you get to the abuse area and making sure to include pictures when his prims come over to your land ar it it may take awhile for him to be dealt with but keep at it

i would also suggest putting prim walls up on your side so you have nice scenery

remain calm do not lower yourself to his level

i recently encountered similar problems with spinny ad farms on a neighbors land and he wanted 300k for a 336sqm propery
i gave in and sold out our 1024sqm figured since im takin a small break to move in rl it was better anyways and i sold my chunk at a profit so works out for now

Yep, we already had create to group only, but he was a member of the group (not any longer).

No push is set too, dont was to restrict scripts, as there are sime things that do require scripts.

I spoke to concierge and they told me mega prims were ok, as long as they were not causing a nusince. I explainted that they were, and was told to AR them, which I have done - however, not holding out much hope

Yep, we do the scenery bit, and I am remaining calm about this, but it's very frustrating when one person who has been a neighbour for a long time suddenly starts acting like this...

Gomez

Thanks for the offer, i'll look you up later

Gomez

well, set them scripted objects to teh same group as the land is set to and allow scripts, object entry and create objects only to your group and for everyone else off.

If you do not use your land for commercial business at all then lock the parcels so nobody can cross over to his place. apart from that I agree with the others. Don't get down to his level, keep calm and try to ignore him. If he keeps causing grief on you then keep AR'ing him every single time. best case would be if he places high performance scripts to lag you

There is also some people in-world that take care of griefers like him.. but let's not go down that line...rofl.

You know... ugly green walls don't really bother me. I have a store in Chodron, and for a while I had a small lot with a huge pseudo modern castle dungeon thing with "sluts for hire" (as they choose to call them selves).

If there is one thing I learned a long time ago is that, the edges of your land don't have to be your building's boundary.

Way to many people think that their house or store has to be right on the property's edge, and that seems to be the problem with your neighbors.

Let me make this one suggestion to you... Design your lot in a way that when a person is on your site, their eyes don't leave your property.

Let me explain... When I saw that there was walls right on the property edge, rather than build a huge wall to block it, I use 1 prim linden trees to line the property. The last thing you want to do is be in a sim where the only thing you notice is walls and spinning cubes.

You don't see people really retaliate like that in RL... you never see a Wal-Mart with 20foot walls around their property. What you see is that when you are on their property, your focus never leaves their property. So the wall if you will, is really a focal point.

Design your land like that. Keep people's views in your property line by the way you design your store or home. I have a house on Forbidden Path . Yes it is on the corner of a sim and it is a 4000M square, but take a look at how I built my wall and tree line... the wall is like 4M away from the property line, and the tree line keeps it from looking like a hard wall.

If a person has a wall right on their property line, treat that wall like it is yours and don't fight it. The right design can help you to keep people's focus in your land. Even if it is a Big Ugly Green Wall...

Yep, i do agree this this sentiment. Maybe I should explain a little more...

When you first moved to the sim, the neighbour was already there, and he had shorter walls surrounding his lot. when we started, we only bought a 2048 plot, which was just big enough for the clubhouse, so we situated it up against he back property line where his old walls were. It wasnt a problem then, as our clubhouse was pretty much the same height as his walls, so it was not too obvious. We chatted, and got along - he was even a group member and used to request the club. Since then, we have bought a lot more land on the sim and own nearly half of it now. We've landscaped the rest of the sim we own in a nice way, and tried to make sure we are not an eyesore to neighbours.

it's only since he started to redesign and placed objects on our land that he has been like this (the last couple of days). He has clearly done this as because he hold a grudge against us for returning the items (he says we deleted them, but I didn't).

We tried explaining again, and reasoning with him, but it seems blackmail is his chosen weapon.

BTW, huge thanks to Deandra for the textures. We are getting some way to hiding them now

Gomez

It may look to him that they were deleted. But if he checks his lost and found folder, he should have an item with a stack of boxes next to it instead of the usual one box. Returned items like this go into one cache.

put up a wall of your own to cover your neighbour's and put a nice landscape texture on it.

Yes, already tried explaining that to him...

gomez

Few facts and tips:

1) Megaprims leave a different "footprint" than normal prims. Use the mini-map to see where his megaprim footprint is. I'm betting it's incurring onto your land when he's using them as walls. The really thin megaprims (ex, 50x50x0.5) tend to have a center of mass far off from what they appear. You might even have those megaprims on your land, so check the About Land to list owner's prims.

2) Deffinately do NOT put up a notecard giver or any type of text/picture debasing him or his "buisness" in any way. All this would do would give him fuel to file his own ARs.

3) What you can do, is set aside a small area right beside his land and put out Freebies for free (novel concept that *Grins*). No one is going to buy something (even for 1L$) if they can just get it for free.

4) Avoid all further contact. Listen if he rants, and do speak if he decides to talk nicely, but once things start going south in the chat, STOP. Walk away, just stand there, log out, TP away, but get your fingers OFF the keyboard. Getting into a rantfest with someone is the worst way to go. You get annoyed, then angry, then you start typing stuff that is just going to make things worse and might get you ARed.

5) Play it smart. Ban lines are your right and you don't need a reason for them. Do not sink to the level your neighbor is displaying. If you are unsure what to do, do not move on instinct, or act rashly. Step back, research, ask others, THEN act in accordance with common sense and within the ToS/CS.
Beat him with "The Book".

~Jessy

Agreed, I did remove it after a few minutes - didn't feel easy about it anyway

Gomez

Some good ideas here. I think the main issue was the fact the items were RETURNED but he didnt receive all of them, possibly due to SL problems at the time. The area Gomez owns has been created for fun and relaxation, somewhere to look nice for people to visit and meet friends.

Measures were taken to stop the constant weapon and gadget checks that occurred on Gomez's land when people got them from the so called freebie store, and people tolerated the giant spinning globe and constant building in the sky just above 10 metres so everyone could see, the giant prim cubes in the sky, the swimming pools etc lol (basically silly stuff that was being dumped literally just above the the pine wall we put up to make the area look nice.

So that's why it was a shock for all this to start. He was also a member of the group so he could visit the area too (which he has done, and recently).

Gomez has since put up sky walls to hide the giant green walls, but its a shame he had to in the first place, we didnt want everyone walled in, just a 10 metre high pine wall for effect and then natural sky (or as natural as SL gets) above that lol.


Never mind lol. Thanks for everyone's advice.

Titania x

if his prims are on his land and not going into your land its not griefing, ppl are free to put what they want on thier own land as long as it does not 'parcel encroach'

if his prims are on your land, AR them and they will be removed by LL

Why was autoreturn not on by default anyway? Please make sure that's on, and restrict object entry and building on your land.

when did this mumbojumbo start? i mean, if this is correct, then that would explain the loss of several of my items but...i really didn't know this was how this was handled nowadays. This should be reserved for picking up unlinked objects simultaneously not for our lost and found ret'd items. boo. hiss.

ps) why doesn't everyone skybox their builds? for the lovely fake terrain? meet my new friend Mr. Sculptie for that

Towards the end of last year, multiple items returned to lost and found would often be compacted. Some time earlier this year they introduced a new little icon to indicate compacted items. Unfortunately compacted items from before that date wouldn't have the icon. Er. My head is spinning.

I know about the icon and i know they started doing that when you picked up multi unlinked objects. Just didn't realize it about the return thing