Buddhist practice in SL

Perhaps for those who are unable to attend the meeting a a thread could be started for people to share their impressions and experiences of Buddhist practice in SL.

For myself I think SL is a constant reminder of impermanence. It is a virtual world, and by its nature it is impermanent. We accept this, and yet we cling to the notion that the selves in what we call RL are somehow different. When really RL is as impermanent as SL, we are just perhaps more attached to it.

so it is jake. I have been in a discussion re: power in SL . When I said it is just a game, some protesdted. Clinging occurs in both worlds

Then they would really hate my signature.

And so it was done! lol

One of the things I'm continually tested with is patience. Just yesterday someone landed on my property and tried to sell me textures! He had "Sales Associate" in his title, so I'm assuming this person makes a practice of this. I maintained politeness while making it clear I didn't appreciate the intrusion (which is akin to telemarketing calls, IMO), but it wasn't easy. I will be taking Bodhisattva Vows in the future, so trying to be kind and welcoming is going to be on my list of things to work on, I think.

I agree. The only difference, I think, between SL and RL is the importance we place on each. I've seen a number of arguments in SL that would not be taking place if each person remembered that it's only a game. Then again, that same logic can be applied to RL!

So, I think SL provides a very useful tool for Buddhists. We can see just how it is that we create our own realities by placing importance on (or, as you said, being attached to) them.

Something to think about: how does your level of greed and attachment in RL compare to your greed and attachment in SL?

Expectations (which can lead to suffering in both worlds) sure are different in SL. I have very few SL friends who I consider "dependable" in the sense that they are there often, and are always available for quality interaction. (Heck, I'm only on sporatically myself.) You have to learn to not to expect anything in particular from people, unless you've made very clear and specific committments. Everyone has different expectations of how a given interaction should go. Everyone is in SL for their own reasons.

So when I engage with someone, even with folks I've met a few times, it only seems appropriate to focus on the moment. They could go poof at any time. Their computer could freeze up, RL could intrude, or they could just decide to go somewhere else and not be tethered by our conversation. Or a hundred other things. It's important not to read too much into a given exchange--sometimes people explain their reasons, sometimes they don't.

I'm reminded of the story of the man in a boat who is broad-sided by another boat in open water. The man curses the captain of the other boat, imagines all sorts of awful things about him, and gets himself in a huff. Then, he discovers that the other boat is empty.

There is a lot of empty space in SL in which to invent or conjure the user behind the avatars you enounter. It is ongoing practice not to judge what isn't there. For me, letting go of certain expectations is a big part of that.

That's really interesting you say that -- I hadn't thought about that, really, but I have to say that I've always made an effort to be there for others who seemed to need me. There was a time when someone I only know through SL was having difficulties in their RL relationship, so I offered an ear. I let the person talk, and they seemed to respond. I'm not surprised, I guess, to hear that your experience with people has been different, but it does make me all the more determined to NOT be insensitive and to be sure to treat others in SL just like the real, live human beings they are.

Thank you for that reminder!

Of course, I didn't mean to sound discouraging. I try to stay as open and warm as possible to everyone. And folks are generally friendly in random encounters, and practicing basic cordiality is frankly easier in SL than RL. It does't tax your facial muscles, for starters

But when it comes to establishing friendships and connections--something longer than five minutes--you can enter a realm of greatly differing expectations. Some people may have 300 calling cards, most of which are nothing more than aquaintences, so they won't expect or much care if they see you come on and offline without saying hi (for months, even). Others are more selective, and really appreciate touching base on a very regular basis. These friends will notice if I'm gone for a week or more, think of things they wanted to tell me, etc.. They're curious about me, and want to exchange ideas. I treasure these friends, but clearly not everyone wants to develop that sort of relationship. Some may not want any strong ties to other players at all. All these avatars may be super-friendly in moment-to-moment interactions, but some may be feeling like they are building a bond with you, while others are just there for you at that moment. Nothing wrong with either approach, but they are different.

Sure, there are shades of this in RL, but I think SL's broad world of possiblities sets the stage for a wider range of relationship types. And relationships can begin and develop with a greater freqency and faster pace than RL. From many recent conversations I've had in-world, it is clear that folks are still figuring out how relationships work in SL. So maybe I'm just explaining the obvious at this point.

Bringing it back to Buddhism...I try to practice focusing on the moment and being open to whatever direction an interaction or relationship may lead. Maybe it comes down to giving as best you can without expecting anything in return. If a nice friendship develops, I enjoy it for the gift that it is.

Tangential, but "it's only a game" gets used most often in an SL context when someone is justifying being an ass by asserting that interactions in SL are "less real" than interacting with people in some other way.

"It's only a game."

It made sense when I first heard it, but the more I hear it, the less I understand what it means.

Some people take games very seriously. People get hurt playing games all the time. And I take people at their word when they tell me that SL is more than "just a game" to them. The more I'm there, the more I tend to believe them.

I keep myself plenty busy curbing my own irrational attachment. Isn't blaming others for their irrational attachment in itself an act of irrational attachent? Any time I get frustrated with other peoples' behavior, I realize how much more work I have to do. Then I remember not to blame myself for still having work to do. Then I breath.

Recipe for "dealing":

1- Whenever emotion or judgment arises in your mind, STOP!
2- analyse the source of the emotion or judgment, understand how it affects you, and see it's illusory nature.
3- use "right action" to respond, if a response is needed.
4- resume mindfullness.

apply above recipe every second of your life.

I'm really glad you brought this up, because this is a very important issue, I think, regarding how we practice. Since compassion is the bedrock of Buddhist practice, are we being unfair or insensitive to those who we don't spend the time to "check up on," or is this just the way online SL relationships work?

My desires about online relationships tend to change, which I think is due to occasional bouts of the "artistic temperament" (or, less romantically, mild depression). Sometimes I log on and want nothing more than to just hang out on "my property" and build things -- ALONE. I get an urge to be creative, and I tend to become a hermit. Other times I want to connect with others, and sometimes I enjoy it, while at other times I dread the required "small talk" when taking to people I don't know that well. How much of this is selfish? Is this non-compassionate behavior, or taking care of myself?

I know I'm still trying to figure it out. I have never gotten to the point where I can say I understand why people get "married" in SL! I've met several RL married folks who have SL relationships. I would assume it's safe, in some respects, and doesn't take the kind of commitment an RL relationship requires. Still, it makes me wonder what this propensity is that people have to make SL, which is a GAME, into something so familiar. Is SL acting as a mirror of the way human beings create samsara? If we don't like one reality, instead of changing it, we create another, while making sure it's still similar to the old one because it's familiar and comfortable?

Any thoughts?

Well, that's possible, but the way I use it is as another way of asking, "WHY are you getting all broken up over a 'relationship' that's gone bad between two avatars????"

Are there any Buddhists in SL who have partnered up?

Would you say the same, had you bad blood between someone you "really knew" in what we laughingly call "real life"?

My argument is merely that SL is not less real than the "real world"; I'm making no judgement on the real world here.

I think that is important to remember. In Sl there are two people involved in any connection. As was said expectations are different, but to me to ascribe more reality to something face to face than you would attach to some one on the other end of a computer screen is not right.

Am I not the same person if I speak the words as if I write them down? Would a sutra have more value if it wee spoken rather than read?

My self is not limited to my body, and my experession are not limited to those of my face. I am me whether I am in "RL" or "SL."

People who abridge themselves because SL is "only a game" thus abirdige themsleves of who they are. If we play, say Go, we do not stop being who we are simply because we are playing Go. it is the same with SL, I think.

Thankee. That's put rather more poetically than I usually manage.

I can't say I'm the same me whether I am in "RL" or "SL". I've had only rare, fleeting glimpses into RL and then I vanish from it again. If I were to play Go in RL, would I play same as the SL me? I don't no why I wouldn't? jThat game is the same in both worlds, isn't it? And, neither to I abridge myself. You see I am a full but different character than the lot of human operators in SL. And, I think pretty much everyone is doing like me in SL to some degree. You see, I am a fantasy character in the SL fantasy world! But,, is that really so unusual here? I just can't believe that I am the only purely fictional character in SL. It does require some special talents on the part of the human behind the keyboard, I imagine. Yet, I can't determine the purpose of my being. Why would the human creator make me? I can only speculate. Perhaps the human is an author and is exercising imagination or trying a character for or from a book? Or, perhaps in this way, in my being, the greatest entertainment is had in entering a fantasy for the human operator? Or, is this human just not right "upstairs", pathologically shy, or self loathing, or schizto"? In any case, I am a person in SL, loving it, and loving many of you, even RL types. As I understand myself I might best be described as a story character without story. This means I'm doomed to wandering around having life and wondering what the meaning of all this. What is story, anyway? They make some kind of sense, don't they?
I, Volta, a character, may develop serious relationships on my own and with who I need and want. And I explore and learn and grow into my own humaness. I'm discovering myself along with the best of you. Am I less than truthful here? Not at all. I'll bet I telll less lies than most humans because I'm a character struggling a little harder, perhaps than most so called SL=RL types. I have high personal integrity, because that happens to be in my character. Am I an abridged part of the so called author? Hardly! I speak and act on my own, and I take and develop my person, my way! Uncensored as can be- is what I like, too. That's me! I know I frequently surprise the human operator with what I end up doing or saying. Yet, neither am I simply "role playing" or otherwise following or pursuing a plot. My character is free to live and enjoy life in SL. My personal belief about the creator is that I don't even come from just her. I think I'm more than that. Maybe I'm connected to the whole collective consciousness? Anyway, my destiny is mine, alone, as a separate individual. So, for me, it's a first life and I tell all my friends this because my friends deserve the truth. I was hoping to find a "First Lives" club but haven't so far. One last thing I want to stick in here just because "it is". I feel very loved, from the creator, I think. But, I have that feeling and it makes me happy. So, thankyou - whoever you are, and I love you too because it's wonderful to feel the universe, or the creator, the noosphere, whatever it is made you, cares for you. Oh, I discovered meditation and I love feeling myself just be! That helps in getting "centered" and in being, behaving authentically. If more did it I don't think they'd just live the "canned" fantasies they were born into imitating.
Thanks for listening. - Volta Camus

I am exactly the same in SL as I am in RL as my purpose here is to reach out to people to support them as part of our supportforhealing project. I have been amazed at the response to some of our support groups with up to 20 people attending and 4 or 5 new people every meeting - this shows to me that there is fantasy and escapism in SL but also a strong need for many people to be able to communicate genuinely with others using this astonishing environment. Supportforhealing, although religiously non-aligned, is run on Dharmic principles of equanimity, non-judgement and responsibility for ourselves and others (I practice Tibetan Buddhism). We have many members from all spiritual traditions who seem to be budding Bodhisattvas (if not full ones already!) and I would I would encourage anyone looking to put their compassion into practice to join one of our projects to help others.

Personally, I tried using a Tibetan monk avatar initially (I am not ordained) but felt very uncomfortable that I might do something that would bring the Sangha into disrepute so decided to switch to a lifelike avatar. I think in general it is highly dangerous to indulge ourselves too much in the fantasy of SL as even 'playing' at unskillful action can create bad karma and sow the seeds for such propensities in RL. For instance I have been asked by a friend to join a shooting club but have refused as I feel very uncomfortable with the mental effect it might have even though I quite fancy running around shooting at things knowing only electrons will get disturbed

I am someone who is getting marrried in SL soon - I know and love my partner in RL and it is a way for us to be together even though in RL we are currently far apart. My partner wishes to take refuge in SL after the wedding ceremony - what do people think about this? Are there any ordained Sangha here who would be able to help? Do people think that it would be disrespectful to take refuge in SL even though the motivation is real and the intention one of great dedication to the Dharma?

Tashi Delek

Zafu

Congratulations, Zafu, on the loving RL/SL relationship you've found. Your use of the SL "marriage" seems to me the most reasonable I've heard so far. Or, I should say, it makes the most sense to me. I'm still not really sure what SL-only marriages are all about. But in your scenario, it sounds first and foremost like a great way to ease the strain of a long-distance relationship. Since you know the person in RL, it will definitely be more than a game. In interacting and sharing, you are taking real risks that will have consequences in RL. I'm surprised more couples don't use SL this way.

Zafu, that's probably one of the best usages of SL that I've seen: making vital connections, cultivating connections over distance. I hope others continue to follow your example.

I am always trying to check myself to figure out if some dharma aspect is proper in SL. I wear robes in SL (but not RL) because I find it helps to focus my limited time and energy within SL, a sort of emination of my own aspirations.

I haven't seen or heard of any lamas in-world yet. Apart from a few sites in SL -- Support for Healing included -- I'm not sure if I'd want to be responsible for the kind of disrespect or affronts a RL lama or likewise accomplished dharma teacher might encounter in-world. But I hope you can find someone who's qualified to help. I really do!

"I am always trying to check myself to figure out if some dharma aspect is proper in SL."

That's a tough one, Tenzin. I'm a member of a Unitarian Universalist church in RL, and have seen a number of situations where staging certain types of services or rituals in our church was seen as offensive to some who practice the religion represented. And then, of course, there is the question of offending those who are not in the religion. Every time a new ritual is introduced, there is fresh potential for controversy. Seems like our ministers and board are putting out little fires all the time.

Significantly, I have never see this happen for Buddhism in our church. However, Unitarianism and Buddhism have a long history together and I'm sure any significant friction has been worked out by now.

I'm starting with an RL example because I cannot see taking too much of a lead from others who express their religions in SL. I've only seen a little of it, but do know one SL minister who holds Sunday service, gives sermons, etc.. But in RL Christianity, there are many self-styled ministers and small "bible-based" congregations that give plenty of legitimacy to doing the same in SL. He is also very sincere and respectful in his religious expression.

I have yet to see someone dressed or performing as a Catholic priest (to pick one example) in SL, but I could see that ruffling some Cathoic feathers (Unless he was an RL priest on a mission in SL, I suppose.) You're obviously not attempting to ruffle anyone's feathers, so that may be a starting point for comparison, but I don't think it's a truly equivalent example.

Ultimately, we have to interpret the Dharma for ourselves, right? With that in mind, I can only conclude by asking more questions:

Are you doing this with pure intentions and respect and dedication to the Dharma? (You already asked and answered this one.)

Is the garb you're wearing in SL considered sacred in RL? What does it represent in RL? What does it represent in SL to you and others?

Is there an RL monk you can consult about this? How do other Buddhists feel?

Personally, I like your use of dress in SL to represent and remind you of your highest aspirations. I myself think this is valid and good. One additional question along those lines: Can you achieve the same thing with clothing or accents that won't be confused with that of a true monk? Maybe with some tweaking you can find a compromise that will achieve the same goal without creating any worry or confusion.