Functional Database

How about adding a feature called a functional database? Daily downtime for the last month is getting old very fast....

[Resolved] In-world Issues
Wednesday, April 16th, 2008 at 7:50 PM by: rikalinden

[Completed] Services and Logins will be down for ~30 minutes
Tuesday, April 15th, 2008 at 11:49 AM by: Kate Linden

[Resolved] Temporary interruption of services
Monday, April 14th, 2008 at 5:03 PM by: Kate Linden

[RESOLVED] Database struggles, interruption of several inworld services
Sunday, April 13th, 2008 at 8:20 AM by: Lotte Linden

[RESOLVED] More Database Unpleasantness
Friday, April 11th, 2008 at 11:43 PM by: Twilight Linden

[RESOLVED] Failed Teleports and Region Crossings
Friday, April 11th, 2008 at 11:17 PM by: Twilight Linden

[BUMPED] Object to object emails failing in-world
Friday, April 11th, 2008 at 6:54 PM by: Matthew Linden

[CLOSED] Re-enabling Services
Friday, April 11th, 2008 at 3:04 PM by: Teeple Linden

[CLOSED] Login issues and some In World Features not available.
Friday, April 11th, 2008 at 7:14 AM by: Chiyo Linden

[RESOLVED] Two Gremlins Bite the Dust
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 at 11:00 PM by: Teeple Linden

[RESOLVED] ~700 Regions Offline
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 at 11:43 AM by: Twilight Linden

RESOLVED - Upgrading Central Database System Wednesday, April 9th 7:00 a.m. - 8:00 a.m.
Wednesday, April 9th, 2008 at 7:00 AM by: Kate Linden
**This didn't seem to help much**

[RESOLVED] Regions Down
Tuesday, April 8th, 2008 at 7:41 AM by: sejonglinden

[Resolved] Grey Profiles Reported
Monday, April 7th, 2008 at 5:21 PM by: Kate Linden

[RESOLVED] Logins & Transactions Working Intermittently/Peak Hours Info
Monday, April 7th, 2008 at 2:44 PM by: Kate Linden

(Completed) Profile and Group Services Temporarily Unavailable
Monday, April 7th, 2008 at 1:05 PM by: Teeple Linden

[Completed] Profile and Group Temporary Changes 1:00 PM PST
Sunday, April 6th, 2008 at 9:40 AM by: Kate Linden

[RESOLVED] Intermittent inventory and login issues
Sunday, April 6th, 2008 at 3:40 AM by: Lotte Linden

[RESOLVED] Intermittent Region Issues
Sunday, April 6th, 2008 at 12:06 AM by: Elle Linden

[RESOLVED] Second Life is currently down - logins are disabled
Saturday, April 5th, 2008 at 12:55 PM by: Teeple Linden

[MERGED] Various Inworld Issues
Saturday, April 5th, 2008 at 5:25 AM by: sejonglinden

Logins Disabled until Further Notice
Friday, April 4th, 2008 at 10:22 PM by: Teeple Linden

[UPDATED] Various Inworld Issues
Friday, April 4th, 2008 at 7:33 PM by: sejonglinden

[Resolved] Various Issues
Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008 at 12:03 PM by: Joppa Linden

[Resolved] Various Inworld Issues
Tuesday, April 1st, 2008 at 12:05 PM by: rikalinden

[ALL-CLEAR] Second Life Phone Support Issues
Tuesday, April 1st, 2008 at 10:51 AM by: rikalinden

[Resolved] Second Life In-World Service Issues
Monday, March 31st, 2008 at 2:33 PM by: rheyalinden

[Resolved] Live Chat Temporarily Unavailable
Monday, March 31st, 2008 at 1:32 PM by: rheyalinden

[Resolved] In World Services Down/Website and Support
Sunday, March 30th, 2008 at 2:05 PM by: Kate Linden

[All Clear] Transactions Timing Out
Sunday, March 30th, 2008 at 9:39 AM by: Kate Linden

[Resolved] Support Phone Lines Unavailable
Sunday, March 30th, 2008 at 9:23 AM by: Kate Linden

[RESOLVED] Inworld Money Transactions Problematic at the Moment
Saturday, March 29th, 2008 at 2:30 PM by: Chiyo Linden

[RESOLVED] Asset Server Issues
Friday, March 28th, 2008 at 3:45 PM by: Elle Linden

[All Clear] Inworld Issue Affecting Transactions
Thursday, March 27th, 2008 at 1:13 PM by: Twilight Linden

[ALL CLEAR] In World Service Disruptions Under Investigation
Tuesday, March 25th, 2008 at 11:37 AM by: Teeple Linden

[RESOLVED] Disruption in inworld services
Monday, March 24th, 2008 at 9:30 AM by: Lotte Linden

[RESOLVED] Loading Issues
Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 at 12:16 PM by: Joppa Linden

Some Regions Currently Unavailable
Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 at 5:37 AM by: Chiyo Linden

[RESOLVED] Multiple Known Issues
Friday, March 21st, 2008 at 12:49 PM by: Joppa Linden

Region Data Corruption / Loss Problem
Wednesday, March 19th, 2008 at 5:49 PM by: Kate Linden

I see gray people… and they walk around like they don’t know they are gray.
Wednesday, March 19th, 2008 at 3:00 PM by: Chiyo Linden

[RESOLVED] - Some Regions Not Reachable
Wednesday, March 19th, 2008 at 12:27 AM by: Matthew Linden

[Resolved]Unable to Login
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 at 4:28 PM by: Kate Linden

[STABILIZED] Reports of Stale Transactions
Monday, March 17th, 2008 at 7:22 PM by: Kate Linden

[Resolved] Inworld Services Interrupted
Monday, March 17th, 2008 at 2:30 PM by: Kate Linden

[Resolved] Login problems
Monday, March 17th, 2008 at 7:05 AM by: Chiyo Linden

[Resolved] Interrupted In World Services
Thursday, March 13th, 2008 at 4:14 PM by: Kate Linden

[RESOLVED] Account Detail Reports Lagging by Roughly Five Hours
Monday, March 10th, 2008 at 10:13 AM by: Teeple Linden

[RESOLVED] A number of regions currently unreachable
Monday, March 10th, 2008 at 7:00 AM by: Matthew Linden

[RESOLVED] Events page not allowing residents to add new events
Monday, March 10th, 2008 at 2:49 AM by: Matthew Linden

[Resolved] In world services interrupted
Sunday, March 9th, 2008 at 11:44 AM by: Kate Linden

[Resolved] Service Interruptions -L$ Transactions
Sunday, March 2nd, 2008 at 3:30 PM by: rikalinden

[Resolved] Support portal unavailable
Saturday, March 1st, 2008 at 3:47 PM by: Kate Linden

[RESOLVED] Database issues - Transaction Histories not available.
Friday, February 29th, 2008 at 10:52 AM by: Joppa Linden

[Resolved] Billing Issues
Thursday, February 28th, 2008 at 8:41 AM by: Data Linden

[Resolved] In-world issues being addressed.
Wednesday, February 27th, 2008 at 3:22 PM by: Joppa Linden

[Resolved] Region Data Corruption / Loss Problem
Saturday, February 23rd, 2008 at 2:10 PM by: Lotte Linden

[ALL CLEAR] Rollback on Multiple Regions at 7pm PST Tonight
Wednesday, February 20th, 2008 at 8:40 PM by: Teeple Linden

[Resolved] Network Issues Affecting ~450 regions
Wednesday, February 20th, 2008 at 6:59 PM by: Joppa Linden

[Resolved] General network related issues
Monday, February 18th, 2008 at 5:36 PM by: Kate Linden

[RESOLVED] Inworld Services slowdown
Monday, February 18th, 2008 at 1:28 PM by: Lotte Linden

[RESOLVED] More DNS Woes
Tuesday, February 12th, 2008 at 5:05 PM by: Teeple Linden

[Resolved] Support Unavailable
Tuesday, February 12th, 2008 at 4:15 PM by: Kate Linden

Intermittent Issues with In World Voice
Tuesday, February 12th, 2008 at 3:09 PM by: Teeple Linden

[CLEARED] Some Residents Experiencing DNS Failures on Login
Tuesday, February 12th, 2008 at 10:31 AM by: Teeple Linden

[Resolved] Logins Unavailable/TP
Sunday, February 10th, 2008 at 2:00 PM by: Kate Linden

[RESOLVED] Intermittent issues within Second Life and our website
Saturday, February 9th, 2008 at 10:35 PM by: Frontier Linden

[Resolved] Support Portal Outage
Saturday, February 9th, 2008 at 5:27 PM by: Elle Linden

[Resolved] Logins Unavailable
Thursday, February 7th, 2008 at 5:06 PM by: Kate Linden

[RESOLVED] More Intermittent Website Problems
Thursday, February 7th, 2008 at 1:51 PM by: Teeple Linden

[Resolved] Inventory Issues : Top Level folders from Library
Wednesday, February 6th, 2008 at 2:41 PM by: Joppa Linden

[RESOLVED] Stipends and group payouts late
Tuesday, February 5th, 2008 at 10:29 AM by: Lotte Linden

Region Data Corruption / Loss Problem Resolved
Monday, February 4th, 2008 at 10:19 AM by: Hamilton Linden

[RESOLVED] Land search and land sales not up to date - Rolling restart in progress.
Friday, February 1st, 2008 at 6:30 PM by: Matthew Linden

Map Search or Image May Not Be Available
Thursday, January 31st, 2008 at 10:40 PM by: Kate Linden

[Resolved] Inventory Database Unavailable For Some Residents
Thursday, January 31st, 2008 at 4:39 PM by: Kate Linden

Viewing Friends Online on Website Temporarily Disabled
Wednesday, January 30th, 2008 at 8:09 AM by: rheyalinden

[RESOLVED] Support Portal Unavailable
Tuesday, January 29th, 2008 at 9:04 PM by: Kate Linden

[RESOLVED] Intermittent website failures
Sunday, January 27th, 2008 at 6:29 AM by: Lotte Linden

[RESOLVED] Difficulties logging in to Second Life and connecting to secondlife.com
Thursday, January 24th, 2008 at 2:54 AM by: Matthew Linden

[Resolved] Logins
Tuesday, January 8th, 2008 at 6:25 PM by: Kate Linden

I like this 'functional database' idea of yours though I think it's a bit impractical as it'd mean we'd have fewer problems left. I think it's best to keep roughly 100 problems active at any given time in order to ensure people post in this forum regularly.

Maybe we should scrap the database altogether and have things randomly generated on the fly?

That'd make SL a truly dynamic experience.