08-05-2003 15:10
Everyone is up in arms over taxes – and several residents have been up in flames. The Police Blotter is a huge fan of fire --self immolation is second only to defenestration on the Blotter’s list of acts that raise protest to the level of Absurdist Theater. The fact the flaming objects in Second Life steadfastly refuse to actually burn is just a detail – it does little to spoil the fun. Kudos, little running burning people; I have no idea what point you were trying to make, but I appreciate the flair.

To the untrained eye one trial user might look very much like any other, especially when cloaked by the crowds of newly arrived residents filling the welcome area lately. For the Police Blotter, however, the scene was eerily reminiscent of the 1965, Ed Wood-penned classic Orgy of the Dead – as long-forgotten abuse cases took advantage of the removal of account creation restrictions to crawl from the grave to revisit Second Life. Eagle-eyed (or, possibly, extremely paranoid) veteran residents made a sport of attempting to spot the interlopers: "Jimbo Omega is actually Jimbo Money"…"Sparky LeFey is Johnny Starseeker in disguise!" The Blotter admires your vigilance, but in only a few cases did these public unmasking prove to be accurate. New players don’t deserve to pay for other users mistakes, so the Blotter asks– barring a direct admission of dual identity – that you try to judge new residents by their actions rather than by who they may or may not be.

Just as the Police Blotter was preparing legislation to have the Phallus named Official Bird of Second Life, the species seems to have gone all but extinct. Sightings in PG areas have become increasingly rare, and population estimates for Mature areas are unreliable. An initial investigation into the unexpected disappearance has produced compelling evidence that in many areas of the Second Life the Phallus has been pushed from its natural habitat by a newer, scatological species. Indeed, sightings of scripted, textured, audio-enhanced feces accounted for nearly all PG-related abuse reports this week. The owner of these items was collared and instructed as to the error of his ways, but some of this poop may still be on the loose. If you spot any of this offensive ordure – approach with caution and call for help…

Statistics: Nine complaints of harassment, intimidation, or vandalism, ten complaints about assorted rule violations, and twelve instances of inappropriate content on a PG sim, and one complaint of an undisclosed nature. As a result of these complaints and our subsequent investigations, six residents were suspended and seven warnings were issued.