Police Blotter, Redux

The Blotter once watched Days of Our Lives everyday for an entire two weeks. This one fellow – a predictably swarthy villain type—had hatched an ingenious plot to pop himself between the eyes with a snub-nosed pistol and frame an even-more-predictably hunky hero character for the crime. How he expected to benefit from this arrangement I’ll never know, because the fellow waxed poetic about his fiendish plans – generally while caressing his gun—every day for the entire two weeks and never got down to any shootin’. Needless to say Soap Operas are not a favorite genre. Except for Latin American soaps, of course, because they’re, well, dirty…and the Blotter doesn’t have so much as basic cable.

Anyway, the Spanish language ones are technically Telenovelas, and it’s really just the melodrama with which the Blotter takes issue. There is more than enough drama in Second Life, much of it melo, but for the most part it doesn’t rate a mention in the ol’ Blotter. Sure, love affairs gone wrong and ideological feuds find their into Abuse Reports more often than is really desirable – but the Blotter’s reaction, as oft repeated in this very column, is “Well, there is no rule that says you have to like each other.” As long as your seething hatred for one another doesn’t disturb anyone else or violate any Community Standards, what’s the harm?

This conceit, of course, breaks down when the melodrama finds its way to the Forums. Now, like uncomfortable dinner guests trapped in the middle of a conversation turned way too personal, everyone else is sucked into a degrading spiral of no point/counter no point. Some of these spats are spill over from in-world, but others have no real origin at all and are simple born of someone else’s perverse need – in direct contradiction of the Blotter’s person preference – for more drama.

This would generally be the point at which someone says “Don’t feed the trolls.” The best way, however, to break this particular Lokta-Volterra curve is simply to not be a troll. To that end, the Blotter is introducing the Police Blotter Good Citizen Award. Much like the Good Citizen and Perfect Attendance Award you receive in elementary school, this one is intended for those underachievers who win no other laurels. Instead of over-active do-gooders, the Blotter seeks nominations of Residents who embody the spirit of making the world a better place by nodding politely, minding their own business, and refusing to be baited into an inane arguments. Send your nominations via IM to Daniel Linden, and, as this Award has no budget, feel free to donate random and seemingly useless object to serve in lieu of an actual prize or trophy. The Police Blotter Good Citizen Award will be presented regularly whenever the Blotter remembers, and winners will be chosen in the most arbitrary and capricious manner possible.