Stereotypes: You RL age & Second Life

Thought I'd make my first post here a big one!

Hello everyone! I have failed to find a suitable forum to be heard in the game, so I decided to post this here.

Has anyone else run into the problem of being stereotyped in SL due to their RL age? When I meet someone and we get to talking eventually the question comes up, “How old are you in RL?” I always answer with the truth when I’m asked and more often than not a comment is made to me about my response to their question.

I’ll say it right now, I am 18 years old. However, I like to think that I am not your stereotypical “teenager”. I get called a youngin’, a child, a baby, etc. and I know its all in good fun. But a lot of times I get treated like that. I just get this impression from some people (I will NOT say names) that they think less of me because of my age. Though the people who have gotten to know me don’t, at least I hope not

Now days, people my age are expected to act a certain way. The whole “world revolves around me” thing. I’m sure a lot of you know what I’m talking about. I don’t act like that. Don’t get me wrong, I can be crazy and goofy just like anyone else. But the thing that bothers me is when I get treated differently or get excluded from things because I haven’t had the benefit and experience of being alive as long as most of the people in Second Life have. Age has really never meant anything to me. As far as I can remember I’ve always been with friends who were older than me and I still have friends like that. The problem that I run into in Second Life is that there are a lot of people who are older than me, almost everyone in fact. Many people are between 25 and 40. Kind of leaves people my age at a disadvantage as far as life experience goes. But I show each and everyone in Second Life respect regardless of their age. Is it too much for people to do the same to me?

I realize that a lot of people just have a habit of treating people my age differently. It’s a knee jerk reaction, simply because a lot of “kids” my age are very disrespectful and crude. And most of the time I don’t think that people even realize that they treat me differently. But believe me, I see it happening and it does hurt. I’m just like anyone else my age, I want to be accepted and fit in someplace. I am really trying to in Second Life and I’ve made a lot of friends here. But I’d like to make even more and I just get this feeling from some people that they think that because they’re older they don’t think I should be able to do the same things as them, hang out with the same people, go to the same parties and such.

Am I making any sense here? Has anyone else seen or had this happen to them? I hope I’m not alone in this. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read my post. I hope everyone understood that I was trying to say. Take care and have a pleasant day.

Yours truly,

Dan Cook

You know I love ya Dan!!! Thanks for sharing how you feel. See ya IW.

Car

I don't normally tell my age, unless I associate with the people alot, than i tell, and most the time, people are suprised to find out I am only 20, it's all about how you act as your AV in second-life. I admit i'm a baby in age terms in SL, but people don't know this till I tell them.

I have to admit that when I run across people online that act immaturely (hey we call it that for a reason!) I tend to assume that I am dealing with a teenager (or younger). But I also know that a good percentage of the time those acting mostly like idiots are adults. In a way, crediting bad behavior to youth is giving the person the benefit of the doubt. If you are young and irresponsible, there is a chance that you will grow out of it. If you are 30 and irresponsible, then what? Chances are you are not going to get any better.

It's one thing to not know who you want to be when you grow up, quite another to be grown up and not know who you are. I guarantee there will be quite a few of each type in SL and it will take us a while to sort out who is who. I also know from years online that some of the nicest people when you first meet them can turn out to be downright dangerous to associate with in the long run. Fortunately there are very few of these posers, but it's good to be on guard.

Programs like SL allow people to take on a personality that might be different from the one they have in RL. For some, that means that they can abandon the Golden Rule and allow their SL persona to run amok. In the long run, I think most people find that their online personality will drag their real life one along with it, kicking and screaming perhaps. For their own good, I'd advise people to be at one with themselves, online and offline. Acting one way online to compensate for problems you have in RL only gives you a false sense of accomplishment, and makes it less likely that your RL problem will get resolved.

As for how people treat you due to your age... don't take it too seriously. If you are a nice person over a period of time people will forget about that.

Look at it this way:

Some of the most recodnized people in Second Life are still teenagers. You may find that people you find to be very popular and very productive in second life are in fact teenagers.

how old do you think i am? those i have told.. tell he how old you thought i was before i said any thing

You must be meeting the wrong people. I've been IW for almost 3 months and some people are just now finding out that I'm only 18. Sometimes, I feel a little young, like when people talk about their kids, but for the most part I'm just another member of the gang. You have to be careful though, because some people wait patiently for you to show your age, and will use it against you. Just don't bother with the people who consider age, instead of actions, an important factor in choosing friends. (The good thing that comes of tyour age, is that generally people are more impressed by your accomplishments )

Vershean you are way beyond your years

Lol, i getting treated differently a lot irl. I'm 19 but i look 13, so i'm often treated like a little kid. I'm even still restricted a lot by my parents. My dad even admits treating me as though i were still really young.

I'm 18, too. Hooray for me, I think.

Well, I am 51. Personally I fully intend to bring pretty much who I am to the world with the exception that I find a certain indulgence in the fact that my body looks slimmer/younger to be gratifying (Though I do wear long silver hair as one tip towards reality). The real point here is that I will treat people based upon the same criteria I do in the real world: how they treat me.

One tip though, I wouldn't take the expressions that people use towards you, based upon what they know about you, as anything more than endearments, unless some other behavior goes along with it that is actually offensive. If some 18 year old wants to call me the "old fart" that's fine as long as it is in the context of an otherwise sociable behavior.

Well said!

I call people "kids" quite a bit. Most of the time I don't know (nor really care to know) the actual age of said "kids". I also call people "sir" and "ma'am" a lot. Again, has nothing to do with their age. The first is, as you said, an endearment, and the sir/ma'am are a combination show of respect mixed with plain ole habit. Constantly reminding my own kids to say "yes ma'am" and so forth means I end up just saying it myself most of the time.

As many of you know, I am 4 and 1/2 years old, and haven't encountered any problems with age discrimination.

Some people that I know are considerably younger than me I might jokingly call a "youngin" or something similar... but I say it to make fun of my own advanced age, not theirs. In SL and in RL I find age to be mostly irrelevant. If I can relate to and get along with someone then age doesn't really matter. I tend to think of people as my peers and equals even if I'm twice their age, unless they prove me wrong.

It will all make sense when your older...