07-01-2003 15:38
The Blotter is tired of talking about land. Sick of it! Two weeks ago we discussed why it was wrong to use land, by way of mountains or banning scripts, to keep your neighbors from circulating freely. Last week we touched on the benefits of working out land tenancy issues in a mature manner. Now we have checker-boarding. If you’ve missed out on this form of land abuse, it involves purchasing every other square of land in a bid to keep others from obtaining a reasonably sized pied-a-tere. Sure, you’re saying, it sounds wrong -- but there wasn’t an actual rule against it. The Police Blotter is not your moral compass. It is obvious to any reasonable person the checker board land purchases are the equivalent of licking every other slice of a pizza – even if someone can find a safe piece the whole thing seems a bit spoiled.

Besides, there is a rule now. Briefly summarized, it instructs you not to claim or use land as a means to restrict the freedoms of another resident and not to claim land in a manner that prevents larger plots from being purchased. Now that we’ve removed the moral ambiguity, the Blotter hopes not to revisit the subject.

The Blotter has met residents with boring names, clever names, unpronounceable names, and names the clearly meant something to someone but were completely lost on me. The last week, however, has seen a massive upswing in appalling names, offensive names, and names that are just plain wrong. The true impact of this phenomenon cannot be conveyed, as the Blotter has no plans to immortalize these miscreants in print. One might speculate about the number of misfiring neurons it takes to convince someone that a tacky joke of a name is the face they want to present to the world, but its absolutely shocking to see these people attempt to defend their ill-chosen monikers when called to task. Yikes!

And so we reach the last paragraph. Traditionally, this has been the domain of all things naked. This week, however, the blotter is naked-free. This is not a misprint! Everyone kept their kit on all week long. The lack of nudity, however, was adequately offset by other violations of the PG standard. Why so many resident feel compelled to model one phallus after another – perhaps it is a simple matter of choosing something easy to make and instantly recognizable – remains, as ever, a mystery. It is not a flashlight, it is not a cigar, and it is not a rocket ship. It is, however, going to earn you two days in the penalty box.

Statistics: Eleven complaints of harassment, intimidation, or vandalism, seven complaints about assorted rule violations, five instances of inappropriate content on a PG sim, two reports of disruptive behavior, and two complaints of an undisclosed nature. As a result of these complaints and our subsequent investigations, five residents were suspended, 15 warnings were issued, and three cases are still pending.