An open letter of maturity to Miss Anonymous

This letter is mostly addressed to the establish SL resident hiding behind the AV “sharn McCoy”.

Maybe this is as the title says or maybe I just see a false vision of it. Today there was a supposed newcomer who gave both Siobhan and I negative ratings. This was a very personal attack against the both of us. There are many facts pointing to it that prove this was very much a certain someone else in a newcomers AV. Rather than point a finger, I’d prefer they speak to me themselves on it.

In these ratings there was many terms to show that it was an established player of SL. In Siobhan’s negative ratings she was negative rated for being “married to a pit bull” (to those of you who don’t know, that’s me), that she makes granny clothes (never knew formal dresses were called such things) and is a bitch. Those are the reasons for Siobhan’s negative ratings.

What surprises me is that the two have never met once, nor have I met them. Which again proves back to the point of it being someone established. Given 21 ratings, 6 of them being negatives. It’s obvious we were singled out purposely. Now…

What do most people do in this situation? Retaliate? Yah. But neither Siobhan nor I are like that, though I’ll admit we’ve both entertained the thought of it at times. There are several players that could be pointed out for such practices of giving extreme amounts of negatives. They’re not hard to spot. We try to let our lifestyle and attitude also reflect in that area, thus our low amount given. We simply retract ratings rather than throw negatives at people, even the people we truly dislike. That is our attitude on it.

But I ask you this, what makes two people so hated by an established player that considers me a pit bull and Siobhan a bitch? Is it the attitude? Yah I could say that about MYSELF. I take don’t take crap from anyone and I speak my mind about what a person really is. Some I recon, cannot handle truth. But Siobhan is not a bitch in any sense or form of the word.

I stand tall and I offer this to the griefer with low self esteem, as I know you are reading this or it will be passed on to you, either way: 1) I don’t run from acts of terrorism/bullying/strong-arming, whether its from the 9/11 days or from a person of your low standards. 2) I know for a fact this was done in jealousy, and I’m sorry her life and my life are better than yours. You can have a good life to if you’d just apply yourself. Why hate us for something you aren’t working on? 3) Intimidation is something I realize I’ve given as my persona in SL, if that is also a cause for your lashing out in such a manner at Siobhan and I. I apologize. I stand for what I believe in and what I do. Some folks can obviously not handle the fact of some things about them.

But I have questions for you, ‘mysterious’ player. Why are you jealous of Siobhan and I?

- Is because we are a long-standing relationship (7 months and counting) as a couple? A ‘gay/lesbian’ SL couple at that? I’m not talking about the couples that are together for a month or two then break up for a few weeks, then get back together, and then break up for a few more weeks and back and forth etc etc. Is this your life I just described?
- Is it because we have a solid relationship while you find yours failing each time you try so you lash out at the ones doing well, in order to make yourself feel better about your situation? Is this the reason for the jealousy?
- Is it because we have a higher standard in life than your lifestyle? That we don’t lower ourselves to sexx0ring, stripping, sleeping around, and degrading/depravity that seems to happen so much in SL?

I know this may come as a shock to some but we are one of the very few gay/lesbian couples in SL that doesn’t strip, sexx0r, and do all that Mature sim stuff so many in the SL community are found of participating in. We get sexy and revealing but not much more. Why do you think we live in Mocha? We are a very unique SL couple, in my opinion.

Miss Anonymous, you harbor some obvious issues and anger problems, not to mention a lack of maturity. I sincerely hope you are not an adult with kids for I would hate for them learn such bad habits from you. And if you do have kids, please don’t pass such hatred onto them. Let them live a life free of such things. Don’t brainwash them with your issues and problems.

I have to admit I was upset and angry when I heard Siobhan was negative rated on all three counts, then me. I even entertained giving negative ratings back. But shortly thereafter I started to think and eventually came to the various things I’m speaking of now in this post/letter. I also find it more mature to just let you do/act like you are and I will continue to walk the sunny path together with Siobhan. This does not hinder or stop us in the least.

I’ll gladly harbor the title of pit bull in regards to her. I respect Siobhan greatly both in SL as her AV and outside of SL as an extremely intelligent person. She has an outstanding mind and a wonderful attitude of helping others. I’ll step up and stand up for her against people that try to step on her, use her, take advantage of her, or harm her. I got use to that quick when she and I first came together, and that is what I still am to this very day. If you don’t like the fact I do this for her, then this one time I put maturity in my back pocket and I tell you, ”tough sh…”. That’s what friendship is all about to me, being there and standing up for the ones you care about. Otherwise what makes friendship any different than association? It wouldn’t if not for such things. And that is what she is, my friend. In SL we are lovers, and in FL (First Life) we have become great friends. I learned fast and hard that true friendship is difficult to find in SL. So I cherish hers greatly as well as the other few true friends I have in SL. I hope there are more out there yet for me to find in SL.

If there is any reason for this letter, it’s curiosity and wonder at your attempts to belittle others in order to make your own life have more worth. What is it about us that stirs you? What is it about our life together that you hate so much you have to hide under a fake account to attack us instead of doing it on your own. Do you pretend to be an ‘angel’ on the other account but this is your true self, so you let it all out? Why hide what you really are, if that’s the case? I’m just trying to understand more than anything.

It’s not like I plan to retaliate against your real account. Others may do that but I don’t. I’m above you and I’m above that immature thinking. So if that’s why you fear me so me so much, then rest assured: it’s not going to happen.

I don’t know as much about Siobhan’s past as others, only from what she has shared with me and have heard from others, but I can say I know her better than anyone in SL now. Whatever stuff Siobhan was into with her former lover and lifestyle, she has risen far beyond that now and lives a lifestyle of a princess, literally. It’s obvious some of you cannot handle this fact that Siobhan has surpassed those days and climbed to a higher level in life. I’m sorry some of you are having a hard time dealing with this. That is a choice Siobhan made. That is a great reason I am with her. When we first met back in November, I saw things in her that others apparently didn’t care for. I brought out those things within her and she lives a happier life now. Those were several comments in fact by people who knew her long before I arrived, stating that she was a lot happier, brighter, and cheerful now after coupling with me.

On the opposite side of that, if it were not for Siobhan I would have left SL a few months back, I think back in March or so in fact. She showed me a lifestyle of living beyond something of a wild and party-crazy person all the time. She matured me a great bit in the time since I’ve come to know her. She encouraged me to build; she encouraged and inspired me to become a Mentor alongside her and to help newcomers. Her attitude and grace showed me a lot of things, both good and bad, about SL. Where a lot of Mentors would do simple things like raffle or welcome newcomers, Siobhan went beyond that: she teaches building, she welcomes people, she hosts balloon rides, she scripts and gives out freebies (like a good many SL residents are starting to do). To her, it is something she truly enjoys. She doesn’t do it for the money like some. She genuinely cares about helping folks. So why is she a bitch? Your attitude and reasoning baffles me. Do not judge her based on me. Judge her for herself. Now if you’d have called me a bitch, I’d have been like ‘that’s it?’. Pfft.

So if anything I ask this: what did Siobhan do that would warrant such an action by you, an established SL resident, as to make a newbie account and go negative her on 3 counts. Considering her contribution to SL in scripting, Mentoring, building, and more has been beyond that of a normal player. Her kindness and attitude have not and do not justify the jealousy and anger that come from these few established residents that cannot stand or handle her status. This includes you, Miss Anonymous.

If you wish to speak me, speak to me directly, not behind some ‘anonymous’ character. I am not going to hunt you down or whatever it is you seem to fear from both of us so much to do this. I’m not like you. If I were, I would have handed out numerous negative ratings to several individuals in SL that I dislike at this point, specifically one. That one could very much be you, but notice I haven’t attacked. For that all I can say is, you poor thing.

I consider myself extremely blessed to be with Siobhan. I’m happy she chose me. I rest just fine knowing I’m still a good person in life and that I have a happy and healthy SL relationship with her, negative ratings or not. Whether you IM me or not.

If you want to talk about it, you obviously know how to get a hold of me as the real you. Send an IM, it’ll be confidential, out of respect of another persons wish for privacy. I didn’t join Thinkers because they were all stupid, but because they choose to discuss/debate/whatever in civilized talk with others. Can you? If you’re mature enough that is.

Mocha Resident
“Jules” Curie

I'm in 100% agreement with you julia, of all the people i can think of that i would call "bitch" with justification, sio is FAR FAR from that list. and what was done there was cowardly, and immature.

I hope you are able to resolve this.
It's situations like this that make me think that the abiility to neg rate needs to go away entirely.
I think its glaringly obvious that it's primary use anymore is to abuse, and it's validity as a system needs some serious consideration.

*hugs*

I already have a feeling the Lindens won't do any more than they have (but I can hope) in the past. They'll let the person go with a warning and all that. You know how it is.

Neg ratings really mean nothing more than a griefing tool for folks to abuse. And with the ability to get a '7 day free' account. You have 7 days and a lot of time to go nuts on folks, or target a select few as in our case. It's very easy to abuse the SL system but I doubt much will done about it till enough folks speak up. I'd like to be proven wrong but what can a person do ya know?

S'ok. As I said in my letter, Sio and I aren't going anywhere and we're as happy as ever. I'm just sorry the people from her past can't get over that fact and move on. Nothing can stop us, to quote from a rap song: "It'll take a nation of millions to hold us back".

That's why I said, we're a very unique couple considering who we are. Not many like us out there.

this entire post has produced one main response from me:

a feeling of good-will.. and a touch of the ol' "warm-n-fuzzy".

rock on.

I have always found it somewhat silly and childish that some folks will make an av just for the neg rating of others. You have to have some pretty messed up personal issues to feel the need to do that.

when somebody is ruining my second life i neg rate them. you were ruining this persons secondlife. in this diverse community, no one persons morality and gameplay is the yardstick (except maybe mine). just accept the neg 3 and don't take it so personally. it's just a game and you are an observer.

if neg ratings didn't mean anything then there wouldn't be someone crying on the forums every week.


btw,
my negratings are for sale. based on demand i've raised the price to 100 L$ per rating but a package deal of 250 $L for a -3. I accept orders from anyone for anyone except a shortlist of 3 players.

Thanks people.

Jauani, I know negs mean nothing in the grand scheme. If someone who knew me decided to neg-rate me, or maybe someone who didn't like my attitude... and said, 'I think your behaviour sucks, -1' or the same about building... yeah fine.

But this is either 1. a person pre-judging me based on what a a group of hookers are telling her, or 2. a person who is too cowardly to state their position openly for fear of being shot down in the forum.

My guess is the latter, and I can narrow it down to one of 3 or 4 people so far.

It's the underhanded manner that hurts, not the -3 as such.

a lot of people prejudge all the time. and a lot of people (hopefully fewer) use underhanded means to take advantage. getting upset about this is really what the negrater wants from you.

why should it hurt if a person you don't care much for doesn't care much for you and then negrates you?

even the nicest person will ruin someone else second life. for example, people have gotten negrated for making cheap dwellings for newbies. that is the nature of politics and the friction between different people(s).

it's much better to get a neg rating then what happens in the real world. in SL kasandra gets a -1 and told she's inferior. in FL she loses professional oppurtunities and risks of getting strung up on a truck and dragged across texas.

just trying to put these ratinggs in perspective. they are useful and they are impersonal.

Very true but I must take that to a level beyond what you've said. To some, SL *IS* life. Thankfully not for us.

We apparently effected someone so much they felt compelled to create a fake account just for us and come neg rate us. You'll notice only 6 have been given negatively and only Sio and I are the the victims.

So like a mafia it, it has personal written all over it.

That again is the reason for the letter. Just like in RL, good people and innocent people get shot down (not literally mind you) all the time on things.

This act was basically the equivalence of coming to someone's home and egging it or breaking their windows, in RL. The act was cowardly, immature, and shows the mentality of a good bunch of the people from whom DaBoom is notorious for cranking out. As has been mentioned in another thread. Only very select few people could be responsible for the act and its pretty easy to narrow it down further based on Sio's history with said people.

A sad testament to the fact there are people nearly twice my age, acting nearly half of it.

got pointed to this post, i have to admit i only read half of it as im far to sleepy to read a whole book right now. but ill point a few things out

1. looking at the sharn mcoy account its over a month old

2. you appear to be blaming my gf who couldnt care less for you your gf or your actions, its been 7 months can you not let the hate go yet?

3. if my gf wanted to retaliate she would have used her own account or the other 2 accounts every person in sl already knows she owns not some unknown

4. was it not your and sio making neg ratings the other day for no apparent reason? or did u give marilyn a good reason for neg rating her even though neither of you have spoken to her in how many months? or maybe its one rule for you and a different one for people who dont like you

5. while were on the subject of abuse, im very much offended with the fake top pick in your profile of my gfs land and have already reported you for said item

now you seem pretty worked up over some one giving you a few neg ratings, looks like maybe your the one taking things serious, i had 3 lots of 7 neg ratings placed on my character once but did u see me crying all over the forum? i know neg ratings are not nice instead of throwing around accusations how about every one work towards changing the system so that in futer its better for us all

on a side not trying to mock my relationship with mary shows how bitter you are, myself and mary have never broken up, i just dont take sl as a life i have a real one with at first being pregnant and ill and then a new born daughter that came first

marys too dignified to stoop to your level and start a slagging match on the forum, she has enough dignity to not make a false character to neg rate people with. yes i dropped low enough to bite at your bate but u wont get anymore replys on this matter.

regaurding verbal/text abuse yes i agree said person was out of order and if you havnt already you should file a abuse report in hope somthing can be done

sorry for all typos etc im sleepy still -.-

oh ps sorry if i sound rude i dont think we have even met also sorry if i have misunderstood some things

Well, after speaking with Jova in world, I can say categorically that this person is not her, nor I expect Mari. To be honest, I didn't think it was, but Julia's and my posts seem to have implied that, at least to Jova and Mari.

And maybe my "group of hookers" comment was out of line too, but I was angry.

However... you (Jova and Mari) know who this person is. If she won't come clean herself...

And as Jova has said, she's had this (and worse) done to her in the past, so she'd know how it feels.

Lets recap on ratings of 3 parts.


<name has rated you positive> - that means you got positive ratings

<name has rated you negative> - that means you got negative ratings

<name has rated you> that means you have been given neutral status ratings (ratings removed to neither positve nor negative).


The last one is the one I give for folks who upset me. I don't give negative ratings hon or I'm sure I'd have as many 40 or so by now.

As I am writing this I am also acknowledging that Jova came and spoke with us. Apparently it was a bad decision by the group and they have since taken the actions to clear themselves of the issue.

sharn herself was convinced by Jova to meet us and we had a few short words. No real explanation was given for the actions but the fact she was willing to show up is good enough for me and I respect that.

People all have their own views, feelings, and personalities. At least this has shown me that some folks are indeed willing to at least speak civily on the matter. It helps bring closure to a dispute.

I do appreciate that greatly. Thank you.


Edit: and a nice thank you of respect for working with us to help us fix this, Jova.

Indeed, thanks Jova for helping to mediate this dispute. And apologies to those dragged into it who were not responsible.

glad we could sort this all out and my apologies for being grumpy, i hate waking up to a drama, mind u i hate waking up at all anyway

Whew, I'm glad to see you all settle things. I have to admit, even though it's been almost a year since we lived together, the thought of you all fighting makes me queesy.

Don't make Jellin's tummy upset!!

Oh, no! There is a horrible trend starting! This is one of at least 2 posts today the started out promising lots of drama, that both ended up being settled in a quiet adult manner. If this keeps up my popcorn business will go belly up, *sob*!