"eek!" is now a violation of the terms of service.
The use of more than 3 “...”s after a sentence will cause a fatal error.
Words containing more than 16 letters are strictly prohibited.
Defragmenting your hard drive is considered a misdemeanor unless done in the presence of a tech.
Reading "readme.txt" first is considered nerdism and shall be henceforth referred to as "Scaredy Cat Literature."
Hidden links on web sites are considered trickery.
All accounts must contain at least one animal name.
Mustaches may not exceed the length of your lip or extend to your jaw.
Weeding your garden is a federal offense.
Women who ride Harleys must wear safety bras.
Planning a website is taboo… just do it!
People whose last names start with "B" are no longer required to have eyebrows.
Dreams about babies will be acted upon and the babies granted. Check your doorstep.
Seat belts must be worn by all passengers. This includes possums.
Dangling animals out of an automobile window is considered unsafe.
Gas cans with attached lids will be banned in Florida.
You must be over 60 to reside in Florida.
Lurking is prohibited by CyberLaw. You are required to check in weekly. Failure to comply will result in email bombing.
Toledo is moving to Cleveland.
Stuffing pillow cases with dirty clothes and using them for pillows is not a good way to make hubby think the laundry is done.
Throwing a pair of underwear in the dishwasher is not recommended when you're trying to delay the laundry just “one more day!”
Telling your family you're sick just ‘cuz it's 4PM and you're still in your jammies and haven't left your computer except to go potty is considered a bad thing... though I don't understand why!
“Cannot read from drive C:”
You have been discovered in the company of undesirables. Turn in your badge.
You are the proud owner of 13 pups. Please come get them.
"Your hard drive format has been successful. You have 432,000,000,000 bites available. 0 bites used."
"487 e-mails now being downloaded..."
"Please insert the disk entitled 'Windows 95 CD-ROM' and click OK."
"The World Wide Web will be down until further notice."
"There are no more ISPs that you haven't already tried."
Choose your friends carefully. You never know when they might become your enemies.
Embrace your friend's shortcomings. They will always make you look better than you are.
FRIENDSHIPS ARE LIKE LIFESAVERS. THE MORE ATTENTION YOU PAY TO THEM, THE MORE THEY PLEASE YOU. THEY MAY NOT LAST FOREVER, BUT THEY ADD ZEST TO THE PALATE AS LONG AS THEY DO.
“The Holy Passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.” -- Mark Twain
A friend is someone to whom you can tell your deepest darkest secrets , knowing she will tell only one other person.
"IT IS WELL, WHEN JUDGING A FRIEND, TO REMEMBER THAT HE IS JUDGING YOU WITH THE SAME GODLIKE AND SUPERIOR IMPARTIALITY." -- ARNOLD BENNETT
Revere your friends like all that is holy. Someday, they may be all you'll have left.
P2
