Do you think two people can fall in love on SL?

I guess, it sounds like a weird question, but I need some advice.

I have been in a relationship for alittle over a year now, let's just say is started out "nice" and got "ugly" fast. I am planning on leaving my currently boyfriend, but I have meet someone on SL and feel deeply for him.

Should I meet him in RL? We have talked on the phone a few times. And chatted outside of SL, he wants to meet me and take the relationship slow. I am scared to meet him, because of what I have been through this past year, with the injuries to me physically and mentally from the man i am with now.

Can someone please give me some advice, or atleast tell me I am not completly crazy for falling in love with a man on SL.

Of course they can and have. I met my wife (ex I should say) on Q-Link, a far more text-based environment, and we produced a son that is far greater than both of us.

I've fallen in love holding a door open for a stranger. I've fallen in love writing letters. Our heart is a fickle and devious instrument.

No, you are not completely crazy for falling in love with someone on SL. It happens, trust me! There have been a few really touching SL to RL true love stories so far! Like Damien and Washu, and Eddie and FW.

However, you may be completely crazy for staying in an abusive relationship. Don't just plan to leave him... leave him! And for gawds sake make sure you end that relationship before you start dating your SL love! It doesn't sound like it'd be wise to fool around.

Also, something to think about: I'm sure you think you know your SL love. But do you really? Who they are - who anyone in SL is - is kinda a sanitised version of who they are irl. In SL, they don't fart, belch, pick their noses or, basically, behave in the same way as they do irl. Not because they're 'roleplaying' so much as the fact you simply can't convey a lot of stuff in SL or any other medium like you can face to face. So, even with someone you think you know intimately, it can be a helluva shock when it comes down to the real thing.

So take it slow. Take it as it comes. And good luck!

somewhat unrelated... If someone got an island and named it love and set up a parachute thingie would that make "Falling in Love" more common?

I've fallen in love a few times in here, it's just never worked out. Now I don't really bother anymore. I think I fell in love with the idea of someone rather than who they really are. In SL anyone can be anything, and I was a bit disapointed when that vampire elf fairy cyborg alien glamor model turned out to be some dude in his parent's basement. So my advice is don't get caught up with falling for the idea of someone make sure they are someone you can.... Nevermind... aw hell go for it, falling in love is always fun even if it ends in heartbreak, it's a worthwhile ride.

It is possible and has happened, but I'd have to say that I've seen far more instances of people falling in love with their fantasy of the other person across the link than of more "lasting" relationships. Unfortunately there is no way other than time to determine which you have encountered. I tend to think of SL (or any online venue) as being like - say - a bowling league: it attracts people who have a certain set of interests in common which is good, but it takes far more than such an "introduction" to form a lasting, working relationshp.

As for meeting this other person, despite the horror stories that the sensationalistic media loves to overblow (hmmm, love + sex + internet + disaster = story that sells) meeting people from an on-line venue is probably no more risky than say meeting someone in a bar. Treat your new friend as a blind date set up by your mother's friend's cousin and proceed with the same caution and you shall be fine.

To echo a comment above, if you are in a bad relationship, get out regardless of what may be waiting for you elsewhere. 'Tis better - and healthier - to be alone than to suffer at the hands of someone who says they love you. I have seen online venues show people that there are better alternatives, but you should leave a relationship because of that relationship and not because of the pot of gold you think you might see elsewhere.

I married and am deeply in love with my TSO / SL sweetheart, but most relationships don't wind up this way sadly. (I am just an exception to almost every rule out there and am simply amazing so...)

Personally, since you just got out of a bad relationship, I would suggest you get yourself together before meeting someone else, if he's interested he'll be patient and understanding. You really don't want to rush into another relationship where he may have to deal w. leftover baggage or where you focus on him for a feeling of self worth or acceptance thats something only you can do for yourself if you want it for more than a few weeks.

I think it would be a good idea to take a few months to reflect and get yourself built back up before trying to form a new lasting relationship.

However, if its just some wild passionate moist and creamy sex you're looking for then by all means go rock his world.

To reinforce what everyone else said -

a. get out of the bad relationship you're in first. Take some time to clear your head, decide if you really WANT to jump into another relationship quite yet.

b. be careful, take it slow. I had met a person back when I was in highschool through online text-chat, had talked over the phone a number of times, over the course of about a year and a half... we got along reallllly well, ect, ect. Met in person and we hated eachother within about 3 days. Just don't get your hopes up, we tend to idealise things when we haven't met a person in real life yet.

You've actually got two questions here. The first is the one in your title, which is a harmless hypothetical. The second is much more important, which is what you personally should do. I'll take them one at a time.

Can people fall in love in SL? Sure. I don't understand it myself, but it does happen, and when it does, it is real. SL's not alone in this regard, by the way. I remember about 5 years ago when it was all over the Diablo II forums that two people who had met in game had just gotten happily married. Certainly if people can find eachother in an environment that focuses on killing demons, it can happen in one that's centered around creativity and friendships.

As for your second question, should you get romatically involved with your SL friend in RL at this point, I'd say most definitely no. You're coming out of an abusive relationship right now. Any pshychologist will tell you that someone in your situation is just not equipped to develop a healthy relationship. They usually say stay single for at least a year, and take that time to make yourself whole, hopefully with the aid of counseling.

Try to understand that your own relationship ability is currently injured. It's no different than having a broken leg or any other malody. Part of you is not functioning as it should. It can't be for anyone in your situation. Human beings just aren't built that way. Once damaged, we need healing, and that can only come with time, and the assistance of those who are qualified to help.

If you had a broken leg, and you tried to run a marathon before it fully healed, you'd just end up breaking it all over again. The same is true for your relationship ability. If you try to use it before it heals, you'll just keep breaking it further. You need to heal first. There's no way around that.

If you really care about this person from SL, don't blow it. If you attempt it before you're whole, it will end badly. If this person is the right one, then he or she will still be there when you're ready. Until then, stay single and build strength.

No, you are absolutely not crazy, many people fall in love on the internet everyday.

BUT, I strongly advise that you get out of your bad relationship (and FAST!!!!) first, give yourself A LOT of time to reflect, heal and become whole again, BEFORE you make any plans to start a new relationship.

I wish you all the luck in the world and sincerely hope everything works out for you

Falling is easy.. getting up again is hard.

What I mean is.. it's easy to feel love... keeping a relation going is much harder.

Meet him if you want to, not because you feel you have to.

I agree with you a hundred percent there Blueman...falling is easy and the getting up extremely hard...what is so hard is distinguishing the players from those who play for real....and some play for real...and think that curvy sexy avie is you, and when they meet you there is disappointment...works both ways.....we can think that tall broad shouldered avie with long dark hair......is THE ONE and then meet Him in real and find him very different physically. And while most will say...physical doesnt make a difference...it can and does to a lot of people. I ask now when a relationship in SL turns a bit to the romantic side...if the other player is single. How they feel about politics, religion, sex before marriage, lol....you catch my drift. I just ask first now...saves heartaches later, cause the person behind the keyboard is real...when i type lol for my avie, i gaurantee you i am laughing out loud in my home!!!

I fully believe people can fall in love online. We are all people with feelings and in a world such as SL we are able to be ourselves more and communicate easier than irl sometimes. But, as someone who was badly abused physically and mentally by her ex boyfriend, I can tell you that before you go into another relationship...you need to heal. It sounds like it would be a wonderful thing to go from something bad to something that may be good right away, but it isn't a good idea. You need time to re-evaluate your feelings and heal from the inside out. The outside damage that was done heals faster than the damage done to your mind and soul. If you get into another relationship right away you may find yourself regretting it later on down the line because you didn't give yourself a chance to work through things.

All I can say is take your time. If the person you think you want to be with respects you enough, they will support you and wait until you have dealt with alot of things before going the next step.

Don't jump off the diving board into an empty pool, wait until it has been filled with healing.

I do believe two people can fall in love on SL, solely due to personal experience. Myself and one other person.

It is hard to say more from a proxy, Winterheart, but if you trust your heart, and your heart tells you to go, go with your heart.

Best wishez.

First things first......

Have you told him you are a dude yet?

I met and fell in love with my significant other on a MUCK, so I don't see how SL would be any different.

I have to agree.. that it is possible to fall in love on SL or anywhere online for that matter..

And like someone had mentioned .. theres a number of AAWWWW stories on sl... but my word of caution is dont ignore the warning signs... If there is the slightest doubt in your mind.. trust your gut.. and take it slow..

you may love someone with all you have .. and they may tell you things they think you wanna hear.. but when that monitor goes off it was just a game for them..

good luck

*ditto*

People mentioning SL to RL relationships, i'll have to say that there is my own, an even one of my long time friends who i reffered to SL has found his own lil special someone an it seems like they might try it too.

Theres good stories, theres bad...but theres good an bad to every aspect of life. =\

I do think it is possible to fall in love in SL. I myself am currently with someone in SL and each day we learn something new about each other. We both are going through similar situations in RL and can be there for each other if needed. We are planning on getting married in SL and who knows what the future holds. Just take it one day at a time and see what happens. Just focus on the present and what it holds. You never know, you may find the love of your life in SL. I think I have. But like I said, take it day by day and follow your heart.

Yes. Most certainly. In a sense, one is more open to being open in SL. It's the anonymity that helps. You chat with someone, and suddenly the butterflies start. You know what they're going to say before they say it...you have everything in common, and you can't wait to log in to see if they are there.
It's happened to me once in SL. And that's all I need. It makes my time spent here ever so much more precious.
As for taking it into RL?....read carefully the advice offered by people here, there's some pretty pertinent stuff. And GOOD LUCK!!!

Has anyone noticed Winterheart hasn't been back since she posted ?

Are you thinking that she might be abused by her current bf, margeaux?