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Kendra Bancroft
Rhine Maiden
Join date: 17 Jun 2004
Posts: 5,813
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11-22-2005 15:30
Why God Never Received Tenure
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He had only one major publication.
It was in Hebrew.
It had no references.
It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
Some even doubt that he wrote it himself.
It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.
Some say he had his own son teach the class.
He expelled his first two students for learning.
Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.
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Mina Welesa
Semi-retired
Join date: 19 Dec 2004
Posts: 228
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11-22-2005 15:43
His tendency to throw temper tantrums didn't help much.
If we are, in fact, "made in his image".... Well, that might explain a lot about human nature.
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Euterpe Roo
The millionth monkey
Join date: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 1,395
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11-23-2005 09:23
From: Kendra Bancroft Why God Never Received Tenure
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He had only one major publication.
It was in Hebrew.
It had no references.
It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
Some even doubt that he wrote it himself.
It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.
Some say he had his own son teach the class.
He expelled his first two students for learning.
Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop. All of this and his interests were in the humanities, the kiss of death in academia. Signed, Euterpe "you want fries with that?" Roo  (Am I bitter often? Um. Yep. )
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"Of course, you'd also have to mention . . . furries, Sith Lords, cyberpunks, glowing balls of gaseous neon fumes, and walking foodstuffs" --Cory Edo “One man developed a romantic attachment to a tractor, even giving it a name and writing poetry in its honor." MSN "  next week: the .5m torus of "I ate a yummy sandwich and I'm sleepy now"  " Desmond Shang
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Chance Abattoir
Future Rockin' Resmod
Join date: 3 Apr 2004
Posts: 3,898
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11-23-2005 19:23
Heh.
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"The mob requires regular doses of scandal, paranoia and dilemma to alleviate the boredom of a meaningless existence."
-Insane Ramblings, Anton LaVey
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Gabe Lippmann
"Phone's ringing, Dude."
Join date: 14 Jun 2004
Posts: 4,219
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11-23-2005 19:35
From: Kendra Bancroft
When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
He expelled his first two students for learning.
Too perfect. A++
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