Jokes Post Your Jokes Here!!!!!

post your jokes here i dont have any so partly i am looking for some to tell my friends

Thanks

Going for the "Most Threads Created In One Day" award?

Anyway..

A guy walks into a bar.. No wait.. 3 guys.. Wait wait.. A football team go into a bar.. No.. The population of the south east of england go into a bar.. No wait.. The entire world go into a bar.. And the first guy says "My round.".. What an idiot..

Ok, goodie, cause I thought of one I like this morning while reading that "first blond GUY joke" thread, and was thinking a new thread for jokes ought to be started. Here's one of my stable of the four jokes I know:

Once there was an old lady who lived alone in her cottage with her old cat, Tom. Come an evening, she would sit in her rocking chair on her porch and watch the sun set over the woods.

One day she noticed an old, pretty bottle on the ground. She picked it up, and started rubbing it with her fingers, to get the dirt off.

Suddenly - poof! - a resplendant fairy appeared!

"Hello, my dear," the fairy said. "I'm your Fairy Godmother, and I'm here to grant you three wishes!"

Without even having to think about it, the old lady immediately wished to be young and beautiful. The fairy grandmother waved her wand and - poof! - she was!

"O.K., that's one," said F.G. "What else would you like?"

The old lady - now young and beautiful - thought a minute and said, "I'd like you to turn this rocker I'm sitting in to solid gold, so I'll be rich, too."

So the fairy godmother waved her wand, and - poof! - the chair turned into a fortune's worth of solid gold!

"Now think carefully, my dear," F.G. warned, "because your next wish will be the last one."

The woman thought carefully. Finally she said, "I'd like for you to turn my trusted and faithful companion here, Tom, into a young and handsome prince."

So F.G. waved her wand again, and - poof! - the old tomcat turned into a handsome, young prince.

Whereupon Tom walked over to the woman, leaned down, and whispered in her ear:

"Now aren't you sorry you had me fixed?"

coco

That 'old woman' joke started this one:

Three old women are walking through the park one day when suddenly a flasher jumps out of the bushes and shows them his goods. Two of the old women immediately had a stroke... but the third was just too slow.


Now, aren't you sorry you had me fixed?

A guy rubs a magic lamp and a genie comes out and says "I will grant you any wish you want!"

The guy without thinking said" I wish my dick touched the ground"

So the genie cut off his legs...

"Do You know how many Vietnam Vets it takes to change a lightbulb?"

"no"









































THAT'S BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My joke for today was:



Q: "What did the turkey say to the blind farmer on Thanksgiving day?"


A: "Moo!"