Me whining. (Moreso than usual)

Hi. Long story short, I know a fair amount about computers, graphic design, somewhat less about web design (I can mash the keyboard until HTML and CSS falls out)... But I'm terrible with marketing myself and placing myself.

However, I'm also too dumb to have gone to college or get any IT certification... And as a result I have just sorta drifted from miserable dead-end job to dead-end job in the last 6 years or so (Read : Restraunt industry, Customer Service, Clerical/Gruntwork, ect. No offense to anyone in these sort of jobs who likes them, but I just, well, really am growing to hate these industries now). I wanted to be a writer, and wanted to get a diverse range of experience. Now I'm realising I need to get a real job that I enjoy, because this all is driving me nuts...

So before I start rambling and venting TOO much, what would you do if you were me?

From your post, I think I must BE you!

One question: What is your passion?

There's no way he's gonna get a job oiling up porn stars.

Would he settle for being the oiled up porn star?

Find an online platform, discover what it needs and what you enjoy doing within the platform, fill the niche and find a way to make money doing it.

Hint: Buy 16m square plots, put impeach Bush signs on them and set them for sale for L$10k

Reading Joseph Campbell. ;P

Well, I used to think I wanted to be a writer or a psychologist. Then I realised it would be really boring to sit there and try to help needy, unhinged people all day because I talked to someone who had been a psychologist for a few years and quit for those exact reasons. And I also realised that even if I found the answers that were right for me and put them in a book, and 100 people read it, only like 10 people would "get it" and understand the message I was trying to convey, and those people probably would have entirely different worldviews and lives then me, so trying to write a story for "everyone to enjoy" or a book to help "everyone" fell off the list too. I pretty much so have given up on writing, if anything I'll express that part of myself through machinima or flash animations...

I want to do something creative or technical where I'm using my brain. I swear to god if I sit here and keep making phonecalls or pushing around piles of paper I'm gonna snap. I would love to get back into the IT industry, but would probably burn out and get tired of programming/coding 24/7... Ideally something with graphic design, but I still don't have that hot of a portfolio put together still...

Well hell, all I need to do is hire a bunch of hawt Pr0n stars, get them oiled up and connected to SL, and I think we have teh solution!

If you know you can do it, but just lack the qualifications, maybe do some temping work for an agency who specialise? It's usually way easier to get a temporary position with lack of formal qualifications than it is to get a permanent one. It serves two purposes; it gives you a good, quick portfolio and huge boost to your CV (thats a Resume to you lot ), and you'll make contacts. If you're lucky, someone might see your worth and enthusiasm and offer you a permanent job.

That's what I did, and it worked. Course, it's all gone to shit now some years later, so I should be taking my own advice too

*shoves cv in your mailbox*

Actually, that's not such a bad idea. Porn webcam booths in mature areas? your own porn webcam booth on your land? There's services there to be had!

Hmm. I'll try some temp agencies again, that is a good point... The problem I ran into before was that at least the few temp agencies I had dealt with basically said, "Well, you still have a job right now, we need someone who can jump right in as soon as we have a position ready for them", and I'm too lame to quit somewhere without giving them a 2 weeks notice...

Don't know about you, but i am un chien andalusia, wanna grow up to be, be a debaser

Well, my TRUE passion is that: I want to conquer the world, give all the idiots a brand new religion, Put an end to poverty, uncleanliness and toil, Promote equality in all of my decisions...
Well, Either that or get like super-smart PHD's in philosophy and astrophysics and start a punk rawk band ;P

If a lack of formal education is your roadblock -- fix that.

Even if it's spending $1,000 on an A+ course and getting your A+ and Network+ certification, do it. If you're in a hurry, get some money from family and go to one of those $1,500-$2,500 (and up) boot camps where you can get an MCSE, MCSA, A+ and Network+ in 14 days.

Or check out local techinical colleges and see what they have. When it comes to the workplace, real-world experience is one thing, but I've found in my own experience that having that piece of paper to PROVE you can do it helps a heck of a lot.

Wow. I had looked at certification and some schools a couple months ago and they wanted to charge me an arm and a leg, so I kinda decided I would either just get books and study for it myself... I'll definitely have to research and look around for these boot camps, TY much.

I know that this probably is not the answer that you want to see but maybe it is time for you to buck up, make some sacrifices temporarily and get the education and qualifications that you need to do what you really want to do.

Education means squat on the first day of the job, but it may mean everything when it comes to ever getting that first day on the job, unless you have tons of experience and a long work history of staying put at one place.

Give some serous thought to what job you would really love to do, what you are passionate about, then work to getting the education/certifications/qualifications necessary to do that job and then go apply. Consider becoming an intern while seeking your education/training because you will have relevant experience in the field before applying for the real job.

Hope this helps and good luck!!!

Most colleges have an extensive list of grants and scholarships. Perhaps one is available that you would qualify for. If not then go the student loan route. Do whatever you have to do Logan, it will pay off in the end.

The government also has a great grant program. Try filling out an application for federal aid at http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/ and see where it goes.

i'm in the same boat logan. i always thought it was just me, but over the past year i've realized that there are tons of us out there. i'm not sure where you live, but i know there are tons of certification options where i am, ranging from super cheap to super expensive. if you've already been reading up on it, then getting the actual certification shouldn't be too hard. there should be tons of online options for doing that as well, and they tend to be cheaper.

whatever you do, take at least one step in the direction you want to go. it doesn't have to be as drastic as quitting your job, but just do at least one thing. take an evening class, call a continuuing education center, just something. and good luck!

Buy two books. If you have grown up with computers, the A+ doesn't even take a week to study for. If you have grown up around networks, the Network+ might take a little over a week of study. If you take the tests, be sure to find vouchers. Just go to your nearest search engine, type in "A+ certification voucher", and you have an instant discount on the price of the test. They really aren't very hard tests.