It's Bushs' fault

I have the flu and GW should have known people were going to get the flu and done more to prevent it. Also it's cold outside and I think that's his fault too. It hasn't been sunny in over a week either. My van needs an oil change. The wife likes to shop more than I like. My kids talk on the phone too much. I have to drive too far to get to work. My TV isn't high definition so I'm not keeping up with the Joneses. There's dog poop in the backyard, but it's still too cold outside to clean it up. Oh and SL is still lagging on my puter.

Seems like whatever problem there is, it's his fault, even if he didn't have anything to do with it directly. So from now on, I'm blaming him for everything.

So what do you blame him for?

Okay start your ranting ...

Don't you know those things aren't Bush's fault? Dubya has teflon skin. We can't make anything stick to him. The true culprit is...

9/11!

9/11 is the root of all evil. 9/11 made us all too tall, too short, too fat or too gassy. 9/11 causes cancer. It also prevents Chuck Norris from crying, which would supply us with a valuable cancer cure.

The Titanic was not sunk due to a collision with an iceberg. It sank because the ship did not want to be a terrorist target, and it had prior knowledge of 9/11. All passenger liners could see into the future those days. Its also rumored that the Titanic is a major fan of the works of John Cameron. It considered it an honor to have its story told by him in the future.

9/11 causes blizzards and hurricanes.

Patrick Stewart (aka Jean Luc Picard, not the other one) claimed his hair started falling out at age 19. Why? 9/11, of course.

The evil and totally nasty lima bean exists because of 9/11.

I could go on for hours listing things that were 9/11's fault, but I'll end this with the most pivotal 9/11 related incident in history. It was 9/11 that made it possible for the slowest, dumbest sperm cell that George H.W. Bush could produce to join with the least responsible egg cell Barbara Bush could produce to create Dubya.

Oh and another thing, sometimes when it's really cold it takes more than 3 pulls to get my snowblower started. I guess I could blame that on 9/11. Naw it's Bushs fault.

Everything is the fault of terror. When we win the war on terror and put terror back in its place, all of these bad things will stop happening.

Informing anyone that you have the flu is a national security risk. If the terrorists know that you have the flu it may make them think that the US is weak. By doing this you are jepordizing the security of the free world. Expect a call from Homeland Security informing you of where to report for internment.

George W. Bush is Bush's fault.

Be glad you can get Bush. If Bush is removed, we'll all get Dick. And that Dick is mighty strange. Nobody likes weird Dicks. Especially not when that weird Dick is given Head of State privileges.

Some chicks dig weird Dicks.

Those chicks are called "dames," and they always end up screwing the dicks in crime novels.

So true.

I see the people working,
And see it working for them.
And so I want to join in,
But then I find it hurts me.

Some say that knowledge is something sat in your lap.
Some say that knowledge is something that you never have.

I see the people happy,
So can it happen for me?
'Cause when I am unhappy,
There's nothing that can move me.

Some say that knowledge is something that you never have.
Some say that knowledge is something sat in your lap.
Some say that heaven is hell.
Some say that hell is heaven.

I must admit, just when I think I'm king,
(I just begin.)
Just when I think I'm king, I must admit,
(I just begin.)
Just when I think I'm king,
(I just begin.)

I've been doing it for years.
My goal is moving near.
It says, "Look! I'm over here."
Then it up and disappears.

Some say that knowledge is something sat in your lap.
Some say that knowledge is ho-ho-ho-ho.

I want to be a lawyer.
I want to be a scholar.
But I really can't be bothered.
Ooh, just gimme it quick, gimme it, gimme gimme gimme gimme!

Some say that knowledge is ho ho ho.
Some say that knowledge is ho ho ho.
Some say that heaven is hell.
Some say that hell is heaven.

I must admit, just when I think I'm king,
(I just begin.)
Just when I think I'm king, I must admit,
(I just begin.)
Just when I think everything's going great,
(I just begin,)
Hey, I get the break,
Hey, I'm gonna take it all--
(I just begin.)
When I'm king--
(-- just begin.)

In my dome of ivory,
A home of activity,
I want the answers quickly,
But I don't have no energy.

I hold a cup of wisdom,
But there is nothing within.
My cup, she never overfloweth,
And 'tis I that moan- and groaneth.

Some grey and white matter,
"Give me the karma, mama!"
I'm coming up the ladder,
"A jet to Mecca,"
I'm coming up the ladder,
"Tibet or Jeddah,
Up the ladder...
"To Salisbury,
A monastery,
The longest journey,
Across the desert,
Across the weather,
Across the elements,
Across the water!"

is Kate Bush's fault

LMAO, I love it!www.chucknorrisfacts.com

Of course everything that's wrong with your life is George Bush's fault. Congress authorized him to take complete control of everything after 9/11!

He can:

Tap your phone.
Have you kidnapped and sent to Uzbekistan.
Have you shot on sight.
Read your email.
Send you on an all expenses paid vacation to Cuba.
Have his picture taken with you and then say he's never met you.
Declare you an enemy combatant, then a couple of years later say he's changed his mind.
Stop you from ordering cheaper prescription drugs from Canada.
Have you tortured while telling the rest of us that he's against torture
Allow CIA secrets about you to be leaked to the media.
Be opposed to CIA secrets about you being leaked to the media.
Declare the war over in the middle of the war.

If you read the fine print, Congress also gave him the right to:

Annex and rule Mars.
Say anything stupid and have Fox News agree.
Marry Queen Elizabeth.
Deport all Democrats to Mexico.
Party with the Pope.
Have the NSA monitor everything you do, while terrorists run free in Iraq.
Walk on water.
Declare war on anybody for any reason.
Kiss the boys and make them cry.
Win any war he declares.
Fly.
Lie about anything that pops in his head.
Point to point teleport.
Change the channel you're watching.
Leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Use the Constitution as toilet paper.

There's more, but the print gets so small it's hard to read.

Ya, but what about my cold...

well spinner im blamin YOU for the epileptic seizures i had while lookin at your forum avatar!!!

Bush made me do it, sorry