Happy Little Trees

OMG! I just came received the coolest RSS chunk of news from Cnet ever. Before I say what it is, I think a little back story is in order. Bear with me for a moment.

I'm not sure if this is true for people from other countries, but those of us who grew up in the US in the mid 70's through the 80's all have one thing in common. No, I'm not talking about those recurring guilt-fed nightmares stemming from how we cried and cried until Mom & Dad broke down and spent $400 on that damned Cabbage Patch Kid, or how we actually thought buying a pair of jeans that already had holes in it was a good thing, or how we all remember somehow having had enough pocket space to carry a Walkman the size of a small cinder block. No, I'm talking about something much more universally binding, and much more permanently scarring. I'm speaking of all those pre-internet years we spent flipping through the TV channels until our fingers were ready to bleed all over our corded remote controls, until we somehow managed every day to happen across that deep, slightly crackly, annoyingly soothing, utterly monotone voice of Bob Ross.

Or perhaps I should spell it more apropriately, Bobross. He really never had a first or a last name, afterall. It was always just Bobross. (Pronounced bob'ross'. That's right, accent on BOTH syllables equally, but no space whatsoever inbetween.)

What's that, you say? Who? Come on. You remember Bobross. I know you remeber Bobross. Let me refresh your memory.

Bobross was that PBS painting instructor whose daily lessons never failed to include learning to paint "happy little trees" and "happy little rocks" and "happy (not so little) mountains", and on really special days, you might even get to learn about "happly little cabins" and "happy little animals". Okay, if you never caught his name, just think tall, bearded, white man with the world's most amazingly spherical afro, and with a demeanor that can only be described as something akin to Ferris Bueller's history teacher, loaded on downers, and then recorded and played back at half speed. Ring a bell now? Good.

Okay, now that those repressed memories are resurfacing (you're welcome), whether you loved or hated Bobross, I'm sure you recall how you couldn't help but fall into a deep transe every time you were exposed to that mesmerizing voice and that "happy" painting style. That was his superpower, you see. He could suck the life out of anyone and anything, right through the TV screen. No doubt he could stop a rampaging rhino dead in its tracks with a low spoken word and flick of his magic brush. One can only imagine how different today's world would be had "Joy of Painting" been the inflight movie on 9/11. Not even the most determined of terrorists could hijack a plane whilst being lulled into near vegetation by Bobross-man and his art lessons of doom.

Okay, so what's the news? Bob Ross has been dead for over 10 years, rght? The long black sleep of Kali Ma is over, right? What could possibly be new?

Well, brace yourself, fasten your seatbelt, kiss your loved ones goodbye, and get ready for the ultimate adventure of a life time. That's right, folks, it's Bob Ross, The Video Game!

I can see it now. The action will be like nothing you've ever experienced. First, maybe you play as an ambitious young paintawan learner, eager to master the ways of the brush. "Quick, paint the happy little fern before you slip into a coma and die of slow dehydration!"

Then, maybe you gain ecpereince, level up, master your hypnotic powers, and get a paintig show of your own. "Whoa, watch out for that happy little raccoon of death and destruction, kids. You may have spent the last 55 minutes painting him just right, but there's still 5 minutes left in the show. Better cover up ol' Ringo there with a giant, completely out of place, happy little giant Sequoia redwood, and completely obscure 2/3 of the foreground while you're at it. Quickly now; we can't have dead air on our show. All paintings must take the full 60 minutes or our audience might actually wake up and experience life or something. Come on, you can do it. Use the brush. Be the bore."

Oh, will wonders never cease. Let's all be happy little gamers.

Here's the Cnet News piece, by the way, if anyone wants to read it, all one paragraph of it.

Wow, sign me up! My happy place pawnz your happy place!


(veiwers like me just watch PBS, we don't send in money)

*beats the devil out of Chosen*

Guess I had that coming, hehe. I take it you're a Bobross fan, Candide?

In Canada, for many many years there was an old slavic Gentleman who had a painting show on TV (can't remember his name), who used to paint his "happy clouds" and "happy trees" and had all the same patter as "bobross." He finally died in the early 80's, and his slot was taken over by, you guessed it... "Bob Ross," which was the first time anyone had ever seen him up here.

Since he had all the exact same patter I assumed that the older slavic gentleman was the originator of all that stuff and that bob ross was his student.

I can't prove it because it's just an assumption based on the slavic guy's more advanced age and him preceding bob ross at lest on the Canadian channels, (I also don't want to sound like Chekov), but I think that the Canadian guy was first and the "bobross" phenomenon is more marketing than anything else.

Hey, was this the guy who always talked about using his 'mighty brush?' I remember that guy, my mom and I used to watch him all the time on PBS when I was young... what the heck was his name.... (searches Google).... William Alexander! Strong accent that sounded German, or something close... ahhh, the memories! Can't wait to see what the Bob Ross Video Game involves.

I can't say fan, he certainly wasn't part of my growing up. In fact I've only watched it few times in the past 5 or so years - it's still broadcasted on some german educational satellite channel here in Europe. But I know it well enough to catch reference to happy little trees. I like the shows, it's kinda like watching fish in aquarium.

Bob Ross was a saint.

I do not care who he may or may not have studied and reacted to.

Quit trying to define him.

It's counter to who-ever-the-fuck-you-think-he-was.

First of all, are you saying "saint" is not a definition?

Second, if you really don't care who he might have studied under, why do you brng it up? I assume that's reaction to Dianne and Ilianexsi having mentioned that Slavic guy. Never having seen that one personally, I can't comment on how similar he may or may not have been to Bob Ross, but either way, what difference does it make? So they may have had similar shows, so what? That doesn't diminish old Bob in any way. He's still the happy little master.

At any rate, I can't speak for anyone else, but my only reason for posting here was that I thought it was amusing that a video game is going to be based on a painting show. Couple that with the fact that anyone as eccentric as Bob Ross was makes for easy charicature and parody, and the resulting opportunity for some fun writing (and hopefully fun discussion afterwards) was just too good to pass up.

I can't tell from your 4 sentences if you're kidding or not here, but on the off chance that you're serious, lighten up, will ya? People make fun of TV personalities all the time, and compare them to eachother constantly. Hell, I just read an article comparing Katie Holmes and Gwyneth Paltrow, just because both of them happen to be female and pregnant at the same time. Never mind that they don't look alike or act alike, and that neither one of them has appeared in a show or movie even remotely similar to that of the other. If those two nothing-alikes can be compared, surely it's okay to compare two people who did have similar shows, and who apparently did act alike, isn't it?

Awesome, sign me up!

-Ghoti