How to bake cookies with your cat ...
Just follow this simple 27-step process and you'll have a batch of cookies in no more than two or three days.
Find appopriate cookie recipe in cookbook.
Get cup of coffee or cola.
Remove cat from atop cookbook.
Locate recipe again.
Remove cat's nose from cola or coffee.
Remove eggs from refrigerator.
Obtain dry ingredients from cupboard.
Break eggs in small bowl.
Sift dry ingredients in large bowl.
Answer the phone. Threaten caller with federal "Do Not Call" list.
Obtain more eggs from the refrigerator to replace the ones the cat ate.
Remove cat from flour bowl and clean cat with portable vacuum cleaner.
Apply bandages to hands.
Discard flour and sift new flour into bowl, after washing bowl.
Preheat oven to 450.
Glare at cat, causing him to flee into the bathroom.
Flour the counter and roll out cookie dough.
Investigate the cause of loud crash from the bathroom.
Put toilet paper back on roll and pick up everything that used to be on the counter.
Yell at cat and watch as he falls into the toilet bowl.
Remove cat from toilet and blow dry.
Apply new bandages to hands, arms, legs.
Wipe any remaining blood (yours) from the wall.
Investigate the cause of loud thump from the kitchen.
Remove cat from bowl of flour.
Lock cat in basement.
Go to the store to buy cookies.
(thanks to www.blinn.com)
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How to bake cookies with your cat ... |
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Kendra Bancroft
Rhine Maiden
Join date: 17 Jun 2004
Posts: 5,813
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03-23-2006 11:27
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Reitsuki Kojima
Witchhunter
Join date: 27 Jan 2004
Posts: 5,328
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03-23-2006 11:29
Step 1: Bake cat
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I am myself indifferent honest; but yet I could accuse me of such things that it were better my mother had not borne me: I am very proud, revengeful, ambitious, with more offenses at my beck than I have thoughts to put them in, imagination to give them shape, or time to act them in. What should such fellows as I do crawling between earth and heaven? We are arrant knaves, all; believe none of us.
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Squeedoo Shirakawa
Sweet 'n' Silky
Join date: 4 Jan 2006
Posts: 143
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03-23-2006 12:02
XD Too funny! Thank you, Kendra.
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I do not know why, but I do enjoy the taste of apple cider vinegar with water.
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Rose Karuna
Lizard Doctor
Join date: 5 Jun 2004
Posts: 3,772
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03-23-2006 12:17
True Story: Friend goes to my house to make dinner for me while I am at work - very kind gesture. About 6:00 PM I get a frantic call at work from her. My cat has her trapped in the bathroom and won't let her out!
Really. She was on the toilet with her cell phone and every time she would try to get up my cat, who was on the sink above her, would slap her down with her paw and threaten to bite her. I have two cats but I knew immediately that this was the female grey tabby, she weighs about 14 lbs and can be a bit pushy but I also knew just what she wanted. So I told my friend - to get the brush with all the short grey hair on it in the basket, brush her with it and then she would be able to get up. Once she did that, no problem. About a half an hour later I get a call saying "Are you coming home soon, because these cats are REALLY making me uneasy, now the black one is just sitting and staring at me, sort of unblinking like." So I said - Oh, he want's your bra. (He lives to roll around in strange women's bra's) And she said - that's it, I'm done, Freakin weirdo's. She was waiting outside on the steps when I got home.  . _____________________
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
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Toni Bentham
M2 Fashion Editor
Join date: 26 Jan 2006
Posts: 560
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03-23-2006 12:53
Very nice, thanks, Kendra!
This reminds me of the classic "How to cook a Turkey"......love that one. Now I have to go find it again.  _____________________
Register today at SLorums.net for great discussions, good features, and a friendly staff - all you'd expect from a good forums site!
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Hiro Pendragon
bye bye f0rums!
Join date: 22 Jan 2004
Posts: 5,905
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03-23-2006 13:13
I gotta remember that cat-bra trick.
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Hiro Pendragon
------------------ http://www.involve3d.com - Involve - Metaverse / Emerging Media Studio Visit my SL blog: http://secondtense.blogspot.com |
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Kendra Bancroft
Rhine Maiden
Join date: 17 Jun 2004
Posts: 5,813
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03-23-2006 13:19
She was on the toilet with her cell phone and every time she would try to get up my cat, who was on the sink above her, would slap her down with her paw and threaten to bite her. I have two cats but I knew immediately that this was the female grey tabby, she weighs about 14 lbs and can be a bit pushy but I also knew just what she wanted. I have an 18lb gray tabby that does this all the time _____________________
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nimrod Yaffle
Cavemen are people too...
Join date: 15 Nov 2004
Posts: 3,146
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03-23-2006 13:20
So I said - Oh, he want's your bra. (He lives to roll around in strange women's bra's) . O_o How did you find this out? _____________________
"People can cry much easier than they can change."
-James Baldwin |
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Red Mars
What?
Join date: 5 Feb 2004
Posts: 469
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03-23-2006 13:44
Reminds me a little of one of my cats. I have 4. Katie is the Matriarch and Queen. When ever any of the other 3 do something bad, knock something over, get into something they shouldn't or knock over my glass, etc and I yell at them to move or 'bad cat', Katie will run over from wherever she is and smack them in the head!
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Frostie Flora
Dilly-Dally Shilly-Shally
Join date: 27 May 2004
Posts: 526
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03-23-2006 13:52
Best way to bake ever
I have a very pushy black and white 9 year old cat, she loves to jump into the roll out drawer, one time I was putting dishes away and I knew she was going to jump in so I put out my hand just as she jumped and she leapt right into my fist and ran into the bathroom, five minutes later I found her sitting in the shower staring at the nozzle, and my second cat has a phobia of apples since I "accidentally " hit him in the nose with one. _____________________
(\ /) (o.o) (><  /_|_\ |
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Richie Waves
Predictable
Join date: 29 Jun 2005
Posts: 1,424
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03-23-2006 14:03
This is older than Astrology but if you havent read it its worth the post
How To Wash The Cat 1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water. 3. Obtain the cat and carry him to the bathroom. 4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything he can find. 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective. 6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door. 7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. 8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself. Sincerely, The DOG _____________________
no u!
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Rose Karuna
Lizard Doctor
Join date: 5 Jun 2004
Posts: 3,772
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03-23-2006 14:20
O_o How did you find this out? Every time one of my GF's comes over to spend the night I catch him in their room rummaging through their luggage! More than once they have left their "undies" out on the bed and I have walked in and found him completely tied up in them, drooling and in seventh heaven. The little freak. _____________________
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
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Chance Abattoir
Future Rockin' Resmod
Join date: 3 Apr 2004
Posts: 3,898
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03-23-2006 14:34
She was waiting outside on the steps when I got home. . Great story! _____________________
"The mob requires regular doses of scandal, paranoia and dilemma to alleviate the boredom of a meaningless existence."
-Insane Ramblings, Anton LaVey |
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Zuzu Fassbinder
Little Miss No Tomorrow
Join date: 17 Sep 2004
Posts: 2,048
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03-23-2006 14:52
Every time one of my GF's comes over to spend the night I catch him in their room rummaging through their luggage! More than once they have left their "undies" out on the bed and I have walked in and found him completely tied up in them, drooling and in seventh heaven. The little freak. There's nothing wrong with wanting to dress up in women's underwear. _____________________
I don't want no commies in my car. No Christians either. |
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Cartridge Partridge
Noodly appendage
Join date: 13 Sep 2004
Posts: 999
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03-23-2006 15:01
Step 1: Bake cat Nah, that can happen only after step 15 _____________________
aku cinta kamu sepenuh hati, rinaz sayangku.
My short term memory died about 10 years ago. It's the last thing i remember. Did i tell you already? |
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Ilianexsi Sojourner
Chick with Horns
Join date: 11 Jul 2004
Posts: 1,707
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03-23-2006 15:51
About a half an hour later I get a call saying "Are you coming home soon, because these cats are REALLY making me uneasy, now the black one is just sitting and staring at me, sort of unblinking like." So I said - Oh, he wants your bra. (He lives to roll around in strange women's bras) OMG, that's brilliant, Rose... I'm still laughing about it. _____________________
Everything's impossible,'till it ain't. --Ben Hawkins, Carnivale
Help build a Utopian Playland-- www.doctorsteel.com. Music, robots, fun times! |
