Proof that Santa Claus exists?

I just left the grocery store where I heard the Jackson Five's rendition of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" for probably the 373rd time in the past three weeks.

Just in case you've never heard that song before, it's about a kid who catches his mother making out with who he thinks is Santa Claus, but is understood by the presumably older and wiser listener to be the boy's father.

Now I'll accept the fact that lil Michael and his no-name brothers were not horrified to find their mother kissing another man. After all, Santa Claus is quite the catch, and can likely hook the little rapscallions with some quality christmas presents. But not once did anyone ever mention the fact that Santa Claus was a black man, as we all know Joe Jackson to be.

Normally one would not find it odd that a kid would take the color of his father's skin for granted. However, Santa Claus is not a black man, but a fat, hairy white guy. It certainly should've stood out to the young Jackson men if old St. Nick was a little darker than they remembered him being. If this was the case, I believe they would've mentioned it in their version of the song.

They, as I mentioned earlier, did not. Therefore, the man that little Michael saw his mother kissing beneath the misseltoe that fateful night, could've been no one, but Santa Clause himself.

I rest my case.

Nope, 'taint necessarily so. Here is why:

Young Michael sees his mother kissing "Santa Claus", an old white guy with a beard. The hat and beard hid the true identity of Santa, so we aren't really sure which old white guy she was kissing.

Rumor has it that Michael purchased an old government surplus time machine, the one last used by George W Bush to change the outcome of the 2000 election. It sat unused for over 30 years after Michael purchased it this year. Over the next few decades, Michael would gain lots of weight. On Christmas Eve 2037, Michael traveled back in time to happier days. He went back to his childhood home in Gary, Indiana, disguised as Santa. While he was hiding in a closet, hoping to get a glimpse of his preadolescent self naked, his mother discovered him. He jumped out of the closet, plated a kiss on his mother's cheek, and dashed out a nearby window. All of this was witnessed by young Michael, and it reminded him of that song.

that explains everything! i feel so much better now. thanks, teeny!

And sometimes he smells of booze and urine.

That is rediculous Teeny. Everyone knows that Michael Jackson is a white woman!!!