Le problème du pain

Research shows...

- More than 98 percent of convicted criminals are bread users.

- Half of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardised tests.

- In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

- More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

- Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse.

- Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

- Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.

- Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

- Newborn babies can choke on bread.

- Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

- Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

Let them eat cake.

You could say almost the same things about water too! Like I bet 100% of convicted criminals are water users!
OMG the water-borne illnesses!
You can drown people in water! (and mice too)
I bet after nothing but bread, people would be screaming for water
Kool-Aid with all it's sugar (bad), needs water to be made...
People get hypothermia in water!
Everybody drinks water, smart people, stupid people, and even those rambling on about ID!

100% of convicted (and non-convicted) criminals are made up of water. Since water is obviously the cause of their abhorant behavior, removing the water from them would surely prevent them from committing any more crimes.

While most people think bread was invented in 1492 by Taco Rubio, recent studies suggest that Taco actually stole the invention of bread from nomadic pirates, at which point it was used to clean gun barrels until they realised that bread could instead be used towards much greater humanitarian ends, such as killing small children and animals and, as a packing material used in the transportation of small pox blankets.

This never occurred to me. You make some very valid points.

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Bread and water both. In fact it's scientifically proven that water usage leads to death.

You haven't even touched on the part that continued inhalation of nitrogen and oxygen played in the deaths and addiction trauma of these people. Down with air-breathers!