An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees!
What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the
bushes.
Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran
as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that
the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.
At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God!..."
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice came
out of the sky saying:
"You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't
exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to
help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical
of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps,
could you make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the
forest resumed.
And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am
truly thankful, Amen. "
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An atheist walks in the woods..... |
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Lecktor Hannibal
YOUR MOM
Join date: 1 Jul 2004
Posts: 6,734
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03-15-2006 08:53
_____________________
YOUR MOM says, 'Come visit us at SC MKII http://secondcitizen.net '
Oh, Lecktor, you're terrible. Bikers have more fun than people ! |
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Rose Karuna
Lizard Doctor
Join date: 5 Jun 2004
Posts: 3,772
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03-15-2006 09:06
I have always contended that IF there was a god, that he or she had a very TWISTED sense of humor.
 . _____________________
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
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Ordinal Malaprop
really very ordinary
Join date: 9 Sep 2005
Posts: 4,607
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03-15-2006 09:08
but was the bear Catholic?
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Kevn Klein
God is Love!
Join date: 5 Nov 2004
Posts: 3,422
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03-15-2006 09:14
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him. At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God!..." Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying: "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?" The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?" "Very well," said the voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen. " That was the best laugh I've had today, ty  |
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Sally Rosebud
the girl next door
Join date: 3 May 2005
Posts: 2,505
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03-15-2006 09:31
Nice one hon
 _____________________
"I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?"
~Ernest Hemingway |
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Zuzu Fassbinder
Little Miss No Tomorrow
Join date: 17 Sep 2004
Posts: 2,048
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03-15-2006 09:53
but was the bear Catholic? Does the Pope s#!t in the woods? _____________________
I don't want no commies in my car. No Christians either. |
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nimrod Yaffle
Cavemen are people too...
Join date: 15 Nov 2004
Posts: 3,146
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03-15-2006 10:09
First of all, bears don't talk, second, atheists don't have legs.
_____________________
"People can cry much easier than they can change."
-James Baldwin |
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Lecktor Hannibal
YOUR MOM
Join date: 1 Jul 2004
Posts: 6,734
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03-15-2006 10:12
First of all, bears don't talk, second, atheists don't have legs. You're a picky barstard ! _____________________
YOUR MOM says, 'Come visit us at SC MKII http://secondcitizen.net '
Oh, Lecktor, you're terrible. Bikers have more fun than people ! |
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Aliasi Stonebender
Return of Catbread
Join date: 30 Jan 2005
Posts: 1,858
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03-15-2006 10:50
I have always contended that IF there was a god, that he or she had a very TWISTED sense of humor. . God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid to laugh. _____________________
Red Mary says, softly, “How a man grows aggressive when his enemy displays propriety. He thinks: I will use this good behavior to enforce my advantage over her. Is it any wonder people hold good behavior in such disregard?”
Anything Surplus Home to the "Nuke the Crap Out of..." series of games and other stuff |
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Chance Abattoir
Future Rockin' Resmod
Join date: 3 Apr 2004
Posts: 3,898
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03-15-2006 13:53
There is no God.
_____________________
"The mob requires regular doses of scandal, paranoia and dilemma to alleviate the boredom of a meaningless existence."
-Insane Ramblings, Anton LaVey |
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Siobhan OFlynn
Evildoer
Join date: 19 Aug 2003
Posts: 1,140
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03-15-2006 13:57
If Dick Cheney shoots you in the face in the woods, should you apologize to him for getting in the way of his bullets?
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Absolute freedom is heavenly. I'm sure they don't have a police force and resmods in heaven. omgeveryonegetoutofmythreadrightnowican'ttakeit I'll miss all of you assholes.  |
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Elspeth Withnail
Completely Trustworthy
Join date: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 317
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03-15-2006 21:27
All I can say is, the closest I ever came to dying, I was yelling 'Will you PLEASE not let me drown?' I wasn't yelling that at God. I was yelling it at the guy standing there with the dumb look on his face, letting me drown.
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Jonas Pierterson
Dark Harlequin
Join date: 27 Dec 2005
Posts: 3,660
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03-15-2006 21:34
I always found such jokes funny. I found jokes where the christians find out ther eisn't a god funnier though.
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Dianne Mechanique
Back from the Dead
Join date: 28 Mar 2005
Posts: 2,648
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03-15-2006 22:01
I have always contended that IF there was a god, that he or she had a very TWISTED sense of humor. . _____________________
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black art furniture & classic clothing =================== Black in Neufreistadt Black @ ONE Black @ www.SLBoutique.com . |
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nimrod Yaffle
Cavemen are people too...
Join date: 15 Nov 2004
Posts: 3,146
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03-16-2006 09:44
You're a picky barstard ! OMGWTFROLLFES! Personal attack! Reported!!! _____________________
"People can cry much easier than they can change."
-James Baldwin |
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Lecktor Hannibal
YOUR MOM
Join date: 1 Jul 2004
Posts: 6,734
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03-16-2006 09:56
OMGWTFROLLFES! Personal attack! Reported!!! _____________________
YOUR MOM says, 'Come visit us at SC MKII http://secondcitizen.net '
Oh, Lecktor, you're terrible. Bikers have more fun than people ! |