British Empire Party, Introduction and Manifesto

Citizens of NeualtenBurg City,

Throughout the civilised world, and America, the British Empire is know for the wise and benevolant nature of its government. The British Empire has vast experience in ruling other countries. Indeed, who here cannot say that at some time in the past, one of their ancestors has'nt met a friendly British Tommy, looking at him down the barrel of heavy machinegun. Our view is it is now time to bring the same methods that led to the current situations in Nigeria and Zimbabwe to Second Life.

In order to bring the City of Neualtenburg up to date in terms of security. We propose the bill of rights is amended to give the Leader of the House of Representatives the right to declare anyone an enemy of the state without giving any reason. Enemies of the state will have no rights and may be held indefinately, killed or tortured. For the avoidance of of doubt, We make it clear here, that in line with other modern countries, we will be imposing our moral values and laws, not only on other citizens of Second Life, but players of other online games as well. Obviously we will need some abilities to enforce the rule of fear, sorry I meant law, so we shall petition Linden Labs to add the function llFrag(key agent, integer body_part,vector splatter_speed, string blood_texture) to LSL. Any enemies of the state wil be held on a private sim to avoid any constitutional problems.

Political lobbying by powerful organisations was an accepted part of medieval government, and still is in some of the more backward corners in the world. We propose to bring this element of governance to the Neualtenburg City by allowing all political representatives to sell their votes. To avoid corruption, all politition's prices, and who has currently bought the vote, will be a matter of public record.

All political factions within Neualtenburg City would be foolish not to have a sensible policy for the City business case to be presented to Linden Labs, and The British Empire Party is no exception. Our policy towards Linden Labs is clear, simple and gaurantees results. Sycophancy. The British Empire has learned in recent years that the only way to avoid being smushed by an 800kg rabid gorilla with the power to destroy the whole world is to agree with and do everything he says. We see no reason why this should'nt work within Second Life. If Philip Linden wants to take over cyberspace, we will start infiltrating other games. If Linden Labs wants to simulate global warming, we will tear down the mountain architecture and replace it with New Venice. If Haney Linden gets pleasure from having us rub butter up and down a donkey's... err.. well anyway, with a policy of totally agreeing with any suggestion Linden Labs make, we predict a long future for the City of Neualtenburg, or whatever LL want to call it.

On the subject of religion, we have no problem with any natives practicing their bizarre rituals, as it helps keeps them quiet. For ourselves, the British Empire believes only that there is another place where SL residents go when they finally leave this world for good. This place is called World of Warcraft.

Regarding the city itself, the British Empire Party has many plans to improve on the strong base we have been given. A space where statues can be erected to all past prominent members of Neualtenburg. This will go well with our new crapping pigeons, on sale at the vendor soon. And finally, we propose the creation of a museum of bad animations where people can go and try out the worst animations gathered from around Second Life.

So remember, if your government representative doesnt have a clear policy on all these issues, you might as well vote for the British Empire.

Thank you,

*stands and cheers*

Bravo... well said!

Although if the British Empire Party does erect statues to certain founding members of the great city of Neualtenburg, The Costume Party may propose something more vile that piegoen poop.

- Ace

P.S. Good luck getting into the rather exclusive club.

Ace,
Thnx.


For the avoidance of doubt, The British Empire Party's manifesto is a humorous piece and will not be appearing on any ballot papers.

I'd call you a "pussy", but apparently that can get one's threads deleted here in Neualtenburg, so I'll take a pass on that.



- Ace