The popular on-line virtual world, Second Life, was purchased today by a popular in-world Roleplaying community. All assets, including Resident account information, have been transferred to the new owners, and the former Linden Lab managerial staff will all be taking large severance payment checks and moving on to other projects, some within the new company, and many elsewhere.
The virtual world will be re-branded and marketed henceforth as "Bloodbath: Vampires and Vampire Hunters", an adults-only roleplay and combat game, which will be rated XXX for gore and violence.
All residents who are not classified as "Vampires" will have a blood-red tag over their heads, reading "Fresh Meat". Their objective is to stay alive, prevent vampires from infecting them, and slaughter as many vampires as possible, preferably with as much gore and blood as they can splatter about.
All residents who have been infected with any of the existing in-world Vampire RP strains will have a black tag hanging over their heads, reading "Dead Meat". Their objective is twofold: Bite as many non-vampires as possible, adding to their personal "Clan" and thus increasing their ranking and power level; and either subduing other vampires in combat and forcing them to join the player's clan in a subservent role, or slaying opposing vampires, to eliminate competition.
Virtual World staff members who run the new virtual world, many of whom will be well-known as former Linden Lab policy makers and employees, will take an active in-world role as "Herd Cullers", demonic representations of death and destruction, opposing Residents and Vampires alike, and slaughtering or driving off anyone who opposed their random "Mandate of the day". Both Residents and Vampires get mega bonus points if they actually defeat a Herd Culler in combat, but Herd Cullers always resurrect, to slay another day.
In parting, the former CEO of Linden Lab, known in-world as "M Linden", was quoted as saying "We saw in the forums how many posts and threads there were about vampires and vampire roleplay, so we knew at once this was a fantasticly popular topic. We never read any of the posts, but the sheer numbers convinced us. And then when the leader of the Malvec Clan bit me at a Brown Bag discussion on the Adult Content mess, I had an epiphany. We didn't need all that Adult Content restriction stuff! It's an Adult Game! And Vampire RP causes so much more Chaos and Destruction!"
Of course, M Linden immediately banned the leader of the Malvec Clan, and took his place as clan leader, ensuring continuity as the asset transfer went forward, and also ensuring his own position as a potent leader after the change in ownership.
When asked how this would impact current residents, M just shrugged, saying "Oh, some will always whine and complain at the changes. They always do. Some will leave, but plenty more newbies will replace them. We aren't worried about what happens to them. Most of the Residents are used to chaos and harm being inflicted randomly on them, so they should love it."
The virtual world will be re-branded and marketed henceforth as "Bloodbath: Vampires and Vampire Hunters", an adults-only roleplay and combat game, which will be rated XXX for gore and violence.
All residents who are not classified as "Vampires" will have a blood-red tag over their heads, reading "Fresh Meat". Their objective is to stay alive, prevent vampires from infecting them, and slaughter as many vampires as possible, preferably with as much gore and blood as they can splatter about.
All residents who have been infected with any of the existing in-world Vampire RP strains will have a black tag hanging over their heads, reading "Dead Meat". Their objective is twofold: Bite as many non-vampires as possible, adding to their personal "Clan" and thus increasing their ranking and power level; and either subduing other vampires in combat and forcing them to join the player's clan in a subservent role, or slaying opposing vampires, to eliminate competition.
Virtual World staff members who run the new virtual world, many of whom will be well-known as former Linden Lab policy makers and employees, will take an active in-world role as "Herd Cullers", demonic representations of death and destruction, opposing Residents and Vampires alike, and slaughtering or driving off anyone who opposed their random "Mandate of the day". Both Residents and Vampires get mega bonus points if they actually defeat a Herd Culler in combat, but Herd Cullers always resurrect, to slay another day.
In parting, the former CEO of Linden Lab, known in-world as "M Linden", was quoted as saying "We saw in the forums how many posts and threads there were about vampires and vampire roleplay, so we knew at once this was a fantasticly popular topic. We never read any of the posts, but the sheer numbers convinced us. And then when the leader of the Malvec Clan bit me at a Brown Bag discussion on the Adult Content mess, I had an epiphany. We didn't need all that Adult Content restriction stuff! It's an Adult Game! And Vampire RP causes so much more Chaos and Destruction!"
Of course, M Linden immediately banned the leader of the Malvec Clan, and took his place as clan leader, ensuring continuity as the asset transfer went forward, and also ensuring his own position as a potent leader after the change in ownership.
When asked how this would impact current residents, M just shrugged, saying "Oh, some will always whine and complain at the changes. They always do. Some will leave, but plenty more newbies will replace them. We aren't worried about what happens to them. Most of the Residents are used to chaos and harm being inflicted randomly on them, so they should love it."
April fool, of course...
*shudders* So why does that sound too believable?
