Let's talk about sex.

I am interested in the age old debate on sex on Second Life.

So do you have sex on here?

Do you think it is right to walk into a room and see lots of avatars in various positions, shouldn't there be more privacy? Maybe single rooms or something?

Do you think there is a seedier side to the sex life on Second Life?

I'd love to hear some opinions!

Arwyn

Yes i have sex on here... sometimes

Yes Its right to walk into a room and see lots of avatars having sex if that is what they want and that is what you want and everyone is free to arrive or leave as they wish. its not 'wrong'.

Define 'Seedier'. Yes some aspects of sex in second life are seedier than others, by some definitions.

Sex is part of life. Sex is part of second life.

imogen

Hi Imogen,

Thanks a lot for replying You say you have sex on here, do you think it can be a turn on to be in a room full of people also doing this?

When I say seedier, I mean say like escorts, do you think escorts are wrong?

Sex is a part of life I would agree for sure, there's no denying it. But do you think sex with an avatar counts as sex?

Irrelivant due to lack of context.

Is it right to walk into a mall in a PG area and see lots of sex? No.

Is it right to walk into a room on a Mature privately owned sim and see lots of sex when the discriptive of the place details that such acts happen there? Yes.

Anything is "right" in SL (provided it doesn't violate teh ToS/CS). It is our right to do as we like. Our World. Our imagination.

What is NOT "right" is when we infringe our views on some one else. Be that having sex in places not meant for it, or going into such places debasing it.

In short, the only thing not "right" in SL is closed-mindeness.

~Jessy

I see what you mean Jessy, I was rather abstract for sure.

I like that you bring in the imaginaton part.

But do you think it counts as sex when it is all virtual?

Thats my business. Sorry, no offence, but i am not going into what turns me on in a public forum

[/QUOTE]When I say seedier, I mean say like escorts, do you think escorts are wrong?[/QUOTE]

Since i used to be an escort, no, I don't think its wrong. Escorts provide a service in response to a demand. if your definition of 'seedy' is 'escorting and escorts' then i don't agree with your definition. I don't think I was seedy, nor was the club i worked for, nor was the service i provided.

[/QUOTE]Sex is a part of life I would agree for sure, there's no denying it. But do you think sex with an avatar counts as sex?[/QUOTE]

It doesn't matter what you call it. It is what it is, it provides what it provides. you can call it sex, or pixel humping, or whatever. if you give me your definition of 'sex' i will tell you a little more easily if that is what 'sex with an avatar' is.

imogen

Yes it counts as sex -- sex is to a large degree mental, and text sex in SL definitely fits the bill. It can be very engaging and arousing and it involves interaction with another person -- pretty much like sex unless you define sex to mean *only* physical contact -- a definition that I agree with in legal terms, but not in mental/emotional ones.

As for orgy rooms and places like that ... not my cup of tea generally, but if others want to do that I have no issues with it. I have no issues at all with escorts, they are smply offering text sex for a few Lindens in compensation -- I don't see it as problematic at all, really.

When I say seedier, I mean say like escorts, do you think escorts are wrong?[/QUOTE]

Since i used to be an escort, no, I don't think its wrong. Escorts provide a service in response to a demand. if your definition of 'seedy' is 'escorting and escorts' then i don't agree with your definition. I don't think I was seedy, nor was the club i worked for, nor was the service i provided.

[/QUOTE]Sex is a part of life I would agree for sure, there's no denying it. But do you think sex with an avatar counts as sex?[/QUOTE]

It doesn't matter what you call it. It is what it is, it provides what it provides. you can call it sex, or pixel humping, or whatever. if you give me your definition of 'sex' i will tell you a little more easily if that is what 'sex with an avatar' is.

imogen [/QUOTE]

Yeah, that would be a bit personal on here I agree.

It's not my opinion as such as I am just trying to find out how people react to such words, as they are provocative.

You used to be an escort? Would it be possible to interview you for an article I am doing on sex and second life? I would love to find out more about your opinion on the subject generally.

Yeah Victoria I agree with you, by definition sex is a physical thing. I think what people forget is that there are words that go with this and this is what creates the mental and emotional connection to it.

If you look at sex as just avatars, then it would be easy to dismiss it. But then people do not see the whole process obviously and it would be too easy to dismiss it as pixels bumping or whatever.

/me chuckles

I wondered where this was leading

Yes, i might be willing to be interviewed, after finding out where the article would be published and from what standpoint it comes. Don't count on it though.

imogen

As defined by a dictionary (ie, to have intercourse in pursuit of reproduction)? No.

What is termed as "sex" in SL (or cybersex over teh entire net) is nothing more than this age's form of phone-sex. Which can be debated as to whether that is "sex" or not either.

More accurately, it could be called "entertainment", but is on various levels (just the same as RL sex). By levels I mean the purpose behind it. Some just do it because they like it (obvious). Others do so as an emotional act (love) between two caring people. Others do so as a means of experimentation/fantasy that is impossible in RL (that "seedier" side you spoke of).

So again, simply defining "sex" by one set of criteria is impossible. Ask a 100 different people and you will get a 100 different answers. All of them will be correct.

So the only way to answer the quetion is to ask it of yourself, then live your Second Life by how you answer, and to let others do the same.

The imagination is a powerful tool. It can tint memories of the past, shade perceptions of the present, or paint a future so vivid it can entice, or terrify, oneself, depending on how we conduct or lives.

So can some percieve SL sex as "real" sex? Yes. Are they right? For them, yes. Is it sex by society's standards? Debatable, but given the state of "society" today, I really don't give a damn what society thinks anymore.

~Jessy

Meh. Sex in SL is like jacking-off to The Sims. Just never was my thing.

I prefer the RL stuff

This topic is so played out... The fact is, if someone wants to have sex, there gonna find a way.. There are plenty of (public) sex areas in Second Life, and they're not hard to find lol... I personally enjoy my privacy.. But thats me.. Differant strokes for differant folks..
In regards to seedier sex.. Everyone has there own definition of what (seedier) as you put it, is.. The only truely wrong sex portrayed here was child sex or pornography, and that is being dealt with in the best way it can be dealt with.
Escorts in Second Life.. They're here, they're not going anywhere.. I have never been, nor ever would be an escort.. The thought of selling my body for money is something I couldn't do.. I know several escorts, and there all really nice people, a few are freinds of mine.. I wish they didn't do what they do, but thats there decision, and i am the last person to judge anybody on anything..
Sex in Second LIfe is a big chunk of the economic balance here.. The sex pose shops always have people looking for new and exciting things to try.. I should know, I look too There is something for everyone that comes here, and it's nothing new..
Builders build
Scriptors script
Designers design
This is a Social atmosphere, and that was why I came here to begin with.. I like meeting new people, and getting to know peoples thoughts on any number of things.. I build, spend time with my spouse, own a store, and am slowly learning all the building trades, and to answer your question, yes I to do like to have sex Anyone who says they don't, has never had good sex lol, and they don't know what they're missing

No I don't, because you simply cannot have sex with pixels on a screen. Sex is an act that requires real contact between two people. What you see on SL is pixels and letters describing acts of sex that exist in the imagination of those controlling their avatars. It's like hentai or the writing of erotic literature or something like that. SL sex might be masturbation for some, but I don't care, and frankly, I don't even want to know. If it involves actual interaction between real people, or if they intent to meet in RL or something like that I would consider that sex (and cheating, if this person is in a relationship). Voice counts IMHO as "real life interaction", and I strongly oppose it in any setting, be it sex or not, because it doesn't belong to a virtual world.

Escorts are seedy? Hmm, not everyone should be forced to get partnered or married to have sex you know. And if it's not single people, don't blame the Escort, blame the cheater and/or yourself.

Hear Hear that guy

Once while standing in the foyer of the club i worked, the online wife of one of our regular visitors came in to find out what he had been up to, and with whom. Actually, the guy only visited to chat in our comfortable salon, and didnt actually use the services of any of the ladies at the club. Many of our patrons only came to talk, as we provided a relaxing environment, and excellent intelligent conversation, in a luxurious period atmosphere.

The lady was most unpleasant... sniffing around... wanting to know all sort of things about what her husband had been doing.

She only succeeded in making herself look like a bitch and her husband look like a fool.

We didn't actually drag them in kicking and screaming you know...

imogen

I don't really have any hangups about "sex" in Second Life. Sex is a powerful means of human expression, and Second Life is undeniably an ideal platform for those who want to explore their sexuality in virtual, or "cyber" reality.

My only "beef" with it really is the flagrant disregard for the simple rules of conduct laid out in the Community Standards that some folks seem to have, mostly having to do with their choice of location.

In my (PG) sim, there is an ad farm style ad cube, with a photo of a nude asian woman with a condom stuck to her lips, advertising a real world porn site. In an adjacent (Mature) sim, there is an open air BDSM mall, complete with bondage themed camp chairs, and sexually explicit content for sale, without even minimal effort to "contain" it. The casual explorer, with no interest in sexually explicit content, would be exposed to this sort of thing not by choice, but by simply stumbling upon it. (As I did, flying over to Lahar Broadway's place to see if he had finished a Huey he had been working on)

On the other hand, there are those who go out of their way, some at significant expense, to contain their explicit content and activity so that only those who specifically seek it are likely to find it - notwithstanding the fact that there is currently no way to filter "Mature" rated content from the picks and classifieds tabs of a profile.

" Do you think it is right to walk into a room and see lots of avatars in various positions, shouldn't there be more privacy? "

That depends entirely on what my expectations were when I "walked into the room." It depends also on the location of the "room", whether it's in a PG or Mature rated region, and whether the owner and other participants have taken reasonable steps to ensure that those who would enter, do so with a clear understanding of what's going on inside.

There is a place for sex, kink, BDSM, etc in Second Life, to be sure. Like all other things in Second Life, there is also a responsibility to be respectful of the Community and your neighboring Residents. This concept, unfortunately, is lost on many folks, or they simply *don't care*.

As an aside, I tried "sex" once in Second Life. I couldn't stop laughing.

. . . so my fellow prudes in the USA should read with caution. The civilized world should have no problems with it.

I think it is right for people to do whatever they want. Period. I don't ever find myself wandering into a room full of writhing avatars. I guess I don't hang out in those areas, so I don't think you generally see this unless you're looking for it.

Cybersex to me was an intriguing idea when I first joined SL - I'm a guy after all. But after browsing the escort services and talking to a couple of them, something just didn't feel right for me. (And no, it has NOTHING to do with whatever their real life gender may be. Gender is a spectrum, not an absolute.) If I may be brutally frank here, I think I see cybersex as an aid to masturbation more than as actual sex, and I was uncomfortable with the idea of having another person in on that, even if they are physically half a world away. So until they come up with a way for avatars to actually touch each other and for us to feel it via some sort of VR suit with neural connections, I doubt I will be able to overcome the inhibitions. I have no problem whatsoever with other people doing it or with seeing it if they choose not to try hiding it.

The important thing for me is the sexual tension between two (or more) avatars, the idea that you can flirt and that something *might* happen. So it's not the kill, it's the thrill of the chase. Cybersex has got to remain an option if only to maintain that tension. I believe it's what makes us all create and strive.

If you don't think it's sex, then you're not doing it right!

If you do think it is sex, you must be lacking real sex.

This forum isn't for general discussion; there are many Resident Sites where this discussion is appropriate — Resident Answers is for Resident-to-Resident help. I'll close this thread...