From: Dnali Anabuki
I like it actually. I think it brings up the point that for some folks, they can't point out what is wrong with their RL until they are allowed some space and time to be creative and learn about themselves.
One of the women depicted in the video was (before discovering SL) crying while she did the dishes but no one in the family seem to either know or think that was a problem. And watching TV seems to be presented as a postive way to spend your time...but for some reason, her finding an outlet is not okay.
I would suggest her husband join her in SL for awhile and get to learn about her as a person.
Anyway, thanks for the link....
I disagree on that, SHE should tell him about her frustrations and such (and try to solve it too), not hiding in a virtual habitat, ignoring the real issues, pretending they aren't there..
Hiding never solves anything for anyone, sooner of later, it hit's you right back, when you least expect it. (and much harder then before)
The truth will come, no matter what, or how long, it just will.
Better is it to DEAL with the things that's bothering you as person.
RL is the life you actually life in, and have to deal with. SL is a computer system, that can go away because of LL stopping due to financial problems e.g. While the RL remains.
Therefore, if people truely love eachother in SL (for as far as you can tell/know as one of the two lovebirds), and if in a present rl relationship already, not loving the present rl love anymore in relationship terms (otherwise you won't fall in love with someone else that deeply anyway!), be sure to take it to RL!
To really discover the thruth about the love in place.
As you could see in the documantary, there are two chances..
1) it's not to last, for RL, and thus SL (since they are the same person afteral)
2) it's to be lasting for RL, and thus SL...
The only way to have complete love is to have one that also has physical presence added.
Since the non verbal communication is elementary for people in peoples lifes. (facial expressions, touch, etc)
And why keep on going with a 3d figure, while you could have the REAL deal too?
Try before you die, comes to mind..
ofcourse, people should first do the following requirements before even tending for a RL date:
- Get pictures of the other in different settings/situations.
- use VOICE
- talk about RL things indepth. (bad and good, past and current)
- talk about how the other sees a RL relationship, according to his/her needs and lessons learned (e.g. bad experiences, trauma's).
- talk about general rl topics indepth (so you can sense someones visions, thoughts, etc)
- talk about why the other is mainly in sl, is it ment as hideout? a game? seeking for companionship? trying it out?
- talk about love history, and current state. Important!
(married, divorced, boy/girlfriends, solely sexual friendships, etc etc..)
And if not single, present, is she/he willing to seriously think about waving the present rl relationship goodbye over you (if all goes well ofcourse)
- talk about physical location of living, this is a big issue!
forget the loves that are physical to far apart, this is too difficult to build upon in RL for most.
- try webcam contact, not only face to face, but also the surrounding (tour of the living space e.g.)
this way you get a good impression on how the other physically reacts to things you say or do, and if you feel any attraction towards him/her while the other moves. Also you get a clearer idea about styles he/she prefers or how organised someone is. (also you can tell if someone is lying to you about some of the above points, because you can see it directly (cannot hide). E.g. objects, diploma's etc. (or maybe a wedding ring on, while saying not married)
- try doing rl sex with voice on, and thus experience how the other works on you or not, while you two doing it (ofcourse since there is no real physical contact possible, each one of you need to work on themselves, imagining doing it together physicaly. Does he/she makes you feel pleasant, e.g. wording, sounds, with sexual things going on? This can either with SL active (sexposes done, but instead of chatting voicing, and doing it for real too (sexual stimulations)) or going a step further with webcam on. The latter is better ofcourse. Cause then you see how the person responds to sexual play (and how it makes you feel, seeing the other having a great intens contect with you)
This might seem not so important, but you're dead wrong, sex is an important element in relationships. If the other doesn't attrackt you (verbally, movementwise, expression wise, and visually when being both arroused/or busy doing it), you surely have a problem. (and can negatively influence the potential RL future)
- Ask some questions again, from another point of view, on a different day, to see if the story/answers match up each time. When in doubt ask about it, deeply. (preferebly with cams on, so you can see his/her eyemovements or blushing or nervous behavior when confronting the questions, when he/she is not reveiling the complete story/truth.)
-take it slowly, see if the feelings stay the same over a longer period of months (let's say half a year, with the above conversation things actively done)
these are some tricks and such, to get to know the other well as RL person, before even seriously going to the thought of RL meetups.
And can help you avoid bad encounters or illusions. Or on the other hand helps you prepaire for this date, and makes the first encounter more pleasant and relaxing.
All in ALL, be well prepaired and KNOW the person well, before going to RL, but try to get to RL nevertheless (when both are heading that way in the sl love growth, the inside bubbling ideas of rl meetups growing that is, that both start to visualise/exchange), it's so much better then SL, if successfull (love wise)
And if you can have both, with the same person, it's double nice!
Anyway, SL -> RL love happends successfully, and why not take this chance when the conditions are going that way too?
Scared? hiding something? ask yourself this, individually.
If love is true, why not try to expand?
A date, even if the other isn't single, isn't a no can do, because that person IS in love for a long time towards another, and thus less if not complete past in love anymore with the present relationship.
And why is that? that is this persons main question.
(if not playing it as such for fun, and thus lying about it to you).
And if this love is very strong, why not figure out in an innocent date, if this remains. unless the one isn't wanting to split with the present rl relationship (besides you) But this as mentioned should be talked about on forehand..
