Confused by online status

How useful is this tool? Ive been reading up on it in the forums and many of the posts say that we can never truely hide our online status. But many of those posts are from a while back and maybe the situation has changed. So if I click my status as being offline for my list of friends, can they still see that I am online just by looking at a group list? Or by looking at my Im screen?

Im also curious what people feel the etiquite around this is. I often just park my avatar in a deserted sim with good streaming music and all my friends turned off. While I do other things, clean, bathe.... write emails.... read the forums. But now im worried that my friends can see that my avatar is "hiding" and might be offended by it. Im friends with my neighbhor who does allot of scripting, so I see his yellow dot at his house, but he is often not listed as online on my friends list. Im not offended by this, I just know that he wants some peace and quiet. On a few occasions i have gone out to socialize forgetting that i had everyone turned off. Run into the friend and had a bit of an awkward moment.

Are people offended if a friend "hides"from them. Or do they just think that they might be busy with other things?

You can still see people in groups. As far as "hiding" goes, I used turn off my friends list when I wanted quiet time, but it is too much of a bother. If I feel like being alone I just do it. If I don't answer messages, my friends understand. If not, then they won't be my friends for long. I extend the same courtesy to them as well.

Agreed, they can see your status and even you last log in date in any groups you mutually belong to. And, it may go without saying, if there is group chat and you happen to catch a line and say something they will see it. Also, as far as I know, the offer teleport button is visible, as opposed to being grayed out when someone is offline, if they happen to look at your profile. Not sure if that is always true, but I think it is.

As for being "offended", well that is going to vary from person to person. You certainly have the right to hide or show your status, and real friends should understand and respect that. But, since it really doesn't work that well, it can result in anything from ridiculous drama to subtly hurt feelings.

You asked how useful it is, and in my opinion, not very. I generally avoid using it because as much as I may not be in the mood for IM's from everyone on my list anytime I am logged in, I prefer that to the resulting trouble if someone thinks I am avoiding them.

Have you considered using Busy Mode? You can set a custom message in your preferences.

Oh okay i should look into using busy mode. But i think the people who run sl should allow the option to be relativly unseen in sl. I mean if i am in group chat and a friend see my comment there is nothing that can be done about that. Or if i go to a sim that we boths frequent often and run into them its my own fault. but i dont understand why the other members of my groups need to be infomed of my online status or last log in. And you should not be able to offer a teleport to someone who is "offline".

I guess the problem is that i have many "friends" in my friends list that i would really only consider aquaintances. I might be interested in more contact and want to have their contact info, but i dont feel that they should have the right to know when i log in or log off. So i often click the box off for them. But if they can easily tell that im "hiding" from them then it makes it rather pointless.

As an example. I was at a dance club and met a guy, who offered friendship. He wanted to know if i would be on the follwing night, i said no.... but in the end i did come on for a bit but all i wanted to do was redesign my house. not to socialize. In this case it would be nice to have the option to truely be invisible in the log in screen. Yes i could just be truthful and say im busy and that my plans have changed, but in real life i dont need to justify myself like that so i should not need to in second life.

Make an alt.

If I'm online and my friends IM me and want to chat when I'm busy, I just politely say, "I'm occupied now, can I talk to you later?" If they are really friends they will understand. I've never felt the need to hide from somebody online.

I don't even attempt to hide when I'm online. If I want to do something privately I simply ignore IM's............my friends know me so they don't get offended (if they do then I suppose they will get over it.........if not, I will).

Another method (that I don't use, by the way) is to create an alt to log in with when you want to be "alone". But, since my alt and I have most of the same friends, that's futile for me. I usually just tell them as politely as I can that I'm busy and will chat, socialize, dance later.......everyone understands. People are not nearly as sensitive as everyone makes them out to be.......they, too, need some "alone time". They understand.

On groupchat: there is a button in the chat on the top right "<<<" This will show all participants. No matter if they are actively chatting along, just are reading along, or just don't bother to close the window.

Simply said: If you are trying to hide, then close the group IM and your name will at least dissapear from that list. You are still visible in the group info though.

I know for a fact that on several occasions I was showing offline to a friend and I was infact online and standing right in front of her (yes I did check to make sure I didnt uncheck that) I actually sent her a snapshot showing my friends list and time stamp.

Sure you do. If you agree to meet someone in RL, and your plans change, it's only polite to let them know. Or if you run into them at the mall, at least have the grace to ACT embarrassed.