How do you deal with harassment?
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Riseon Kosten
*Rizzy*
Join date: 27 Apr 2008
Posts: 305
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04-28-2009 06:56
I'm just wondering how do you deal with harassment directed towards yourself or others when you witness it? When it happens, how do you react? Personally I generally get a laugh out of it, AR them and never respond. I don't ignore them and mute them, because I don't want such people to just go through SL thinking it's ok to treat others this way. In fact, my mute list is empty. At the same time, I don't want to bother giving them the satisfaction of a response. I do the same thing if I witness harrassment of others. In addition, I'll generally IM the 'harassee' to show some support and make sure they know how to AR the offender. So, do tell.  P.S. I thought about making this a poll, but I think it's too complicated a question for that  |
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Pserendipity Daniels
Assume sarcasm as default
Join date: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 8,839
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04-28-2009 06:59
So how exactly would you define "harassment"?
Pep (The Community Standards are pretty woolly on the subject)
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Hypocrite lecteur, — mon semblable, — mon frère!
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Riseon Kosten
*Rizzy*
Join date: 27 Apr 2008
Posts: 305
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04-28-2009 07:03
Comments or actions with the intent to embarrass, emotionally hurt, or otherwise negatively affect your SL experience. Or feel free to define your own. I think it's open for interpretation.
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Pserendipity Daniels
Assume sarcasm as default
Join date: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 8,839
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04-28-2009 07:15
Then I have to admit  to a purely retaliatory strategy, returning comments or actions with the intent to embarrass, emotionally hurt, or otherwise negatively affect *my* SL experience with comments or actions with the intent to embarrass, emotionally hurt, or otherwise negatively affect *their* SL experience.  Pep (Natural, not Linden justice  )
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Hypocrite lecteur, — mon semblable, — mon frère!
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Deira Llanfair
Deira to rhyme with Myra
Join date: 16 Oct 2006
Posts: 2,315
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04-28-2009 07:16
If it is _really_ serious, then you AR them - with chat logs, pictures etc., as evidence is needed.
In every case so far though, my point and laugh animation has had the required effect.
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Deira Must create animations for head-desk and palm-face!.
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Brenda Connolly
Un United Avatar
Join date: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 25,000
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04-28-2009 07:33
I'm the opposite, I love responding to asshats. I've never been harrassed, at least by my definition, I've just encounterd minor annoyance. I've never sent in an AR. I don't get involved in other people's messes as a rule, unless it is something particularly mean spirited. I once gave a lashing to 2 giggling "schoolgirls" who took great delight in playing noobie polo at NCI one day. They were having a great time pinning newbs into corners and flying into them and bouncing them around.
I told them to pick on someone their own size, and knock it off or I would AR them, and tell their mothers they were in the basement playing as girls on a computer game.
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Don't you ever try to look behind my eyes. You don't want to know what they have seen.
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Kelli May
karmakanic
Join date: 7 Oct 2006
Posts: 1,135
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04-28-2009 07:34
I usually start with a quick IM to ask if the offender realises what they are doing. It's had positive results as often as not. If they come back with a load of abuse, I'll AR them, mute & move on. If it's relevant to the situation, I'll IM the landowner before I AR (e.g. "John Q. Griefer is filling your rez area with scripted cubes, want to come down & sort it out?" .
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Do worried sheep have nervous ticks?
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Riseon Kosten
*Rizzy*
Join date: 27 Apr 2008
Posts: 305
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04-28-2009 08:39
From: Kelli May If it's relevant to the situation, I'll IM the landowner before I AR (e.g. "John Q. Griefer is filling your rez area with scripted cubes, want to come down & sort it out?" . That's a good idea! I think I might steal that one |
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LittleMe Jewell
...........
Join date: 8 Oct 2007
Posts: 11,319
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04-28-2009 08:58
I must be hanging out in way different areas or I just have a pretty lax definition of harassment because I do not think I have ever been harassed in SL. I do see the occasional asshole out there, but I mostly ignore them since attention is often what they want anyway.
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♥♥♥
-Lil
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
~Mark Twain~
Optimism is denial, so face the facts and move on.
♥♥♥
Lil's Yard Sale / Inventory Cleanout: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Triggerfish/52/27/22
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Oryx Tempel
Registered User
Join date: 8 Nov 2006
Posts: 7,663
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04-28-2009 09:00
From: Brenda Connolly
I told them to pick on someone their own size, and knock it off or I would AR them, and tell their mothers they were in the basement playing as girls on a computer game.
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Pserendipity Daniels
Assume sarcasm as default
Join date: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 8,839
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04-28-2009 09:01
From: LittleMe Jewell I must be hanging out in way different areas or I just have a pretty lax definition of harassment because I do not think I have ever been harassed in SL. I do see the occasional asshole out there, but I mostly ignore them since attention is often what they want anyway. What? Now pay attention and listen to me, young lady Pep (A bit upset that Lil doesn't seem to feel harassed by him . . . )
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Hypocrite lecteur, — mon semblable, — mon frère!
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Kyllie Wylie
J-Rocker
Join date: 7 Mar 2008
Posts: 489
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04-28-2009 09:30
I agree that if its in a dance club or store let the owner know. because if he is doing it to you he is more than likely doing to others as well.
About the closest I have had that sort of thing happen to me was a guy at Sanctuary Rocks who started in on me because my profile is in Japanese (I have an english version in my picks) he would not shut up with his anti asian rants and I finely left the sim and muted him, but friends told me I should have AR'ed him and to tell the management at SR.
I contacted the SR people the next day and they thanked me and let me know he was already banned from thier sim as I guess as soon as I left he started in on someone else.
Guess the moral is to not just mute, fight back a little with the tools at your disposal (ie AR's and letting others know about the offenders actions)
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Kelli May
karmakanic
Join date: 7 Oct 2006
Posts: 1,135
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04-28-2009 10:09
Further to what I said on letting landowners know about harassment: Be especially polite about it, and be sure you're in the right about what's going on. Often a notecard is better than an IM. Send ONE, and leave it at that. If you're lucky, they'll be online and free to jump in and sort things out. If you bug them, they could easily judge YOU to be the problem and lash out with the ban-hammer.
_____________________
Do worried sheep have nervous ticks?
Karmakanix@Sin-Labs http://slurl.com/secondlife/Circe/170/197/504
Karmakanix on SLX http://www.slexchange.com/modules.php?name=Marketplace&MerchantID=61062
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Amity Slade
Registered User
Join date: 14 Feb 2007
Posts: 2,183
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04-28-2009 10:33
Simply ignoring the harassment is the easiest way to make it stop. If you react in any way, you are a fun target, and the harasser will stay for more fun. If you don't react, you are a boring target, and the harasser will move on to another fun target, or log off and catch flies to tear the wings off them.
Though letting the sim owners know of the harassment privately is a good idea. Most sim owners are interested in keeping their places harassment-free.
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Har Fairweather
Registered User
Join date: 24 Jan 2007
Posts: 2,320
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04-28-2009 11:14
From: Amity Slade Simply ignoring the harassment is the easiest way to make it stop. If you react in any way, you are a fun target, and the harasser will stay for more fun. If you don't react, you are a boring target, and the harasser will move on to another fun target, or log off and catch flies to tear the wings off them.
Though letting the sim owners know of the harassment privately is a good idea. Most sim owners are interested in keeping their places harassment-free. Sometimes ignoring it works - sometimes. Often it does not. Consider developing your talents for sarcasm and humiliating insult. "If you want peace, prepare for war." |
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Benski Trenkins
Free speech for the dumb
Join date: 23 Feb 2008
Posts: 547
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04-28-2009 11:16
Absolutely do notify the sim/land owner.
I am a sim owner myself and rely on notifications like that.
I'd say always AR the person, but if LL can act fast on it, is to be seen sometimes.
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 RezzVendor: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Creative%20Hearts/56/104/23
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Marianne McCann
Feted Inner Child
Join date: 23 Feb 2006
Posts: 7,145
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04-28-2009 12:52
From: Riseon Kosten I'm just wondering how do you deal with harassment directed towards yourself or others when you witness it? I personally get harrassed because I play a cross gendered avatar(and state as much in my profile), but the why isn't as important here. When it happens, how do you react? Personally I generally get a laugh out of it, AR them and never respond. I don't ignore them and mute them, because I don't want such people to just go through SL thinking it's ok to treat others this way. In fact, my mute list is empty. At the same time, I don't want to bother giving them the satisfaction of a response. I do the same thing if I witness harrassment of others. In addition, I'll generally IM the 'harassee' to show some support and make sure they know how to AR the offender. So, do tell. P.S. I thought about making this a poll, but I think it's too complicated a question for that Ya, I do the above.
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  "There's nothing objectionable nor illegal in having a child-like avatar in itself and we must assume innocence until proof of the contrary." - Lewis PR Linden "If you find children offensive, you're gonna have trouble in this world " - Prospero Linden
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LittleMe Jewell
...........
Join date: 8 Oct 2007
Posts: 11,319
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04-28-2009 13:52
From: Pserendipity Daniels What? Now pay attention and listen to me, young lady
Pep (A bit upset that Lil doesn't seem to feel harassed by him . . . ) You are just a minor nuisance.
_____________________
♥♥♥
-Lil
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
~Mark Twain~
Optimism is denial, so face the facts and move on.
♥♥♥
Lil's Yard Sale / Inventory Cleanout: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Triggerfish/52/27/22
.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/littleme_jewell
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Pserendipity Daniels
Assume sarcasm as default
Join date: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 8,839
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04-29-2009 01:02
From: LittleMe Jewell You are just a minor nuisance. Age verified already, actually. Pep (And no ethnic jokes about how my grandfathers lived and died, please)
_____________________
Hypocrite lecteur, — mon semblable, — mon frère!
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Pserendipity Daniels
Assume sarcasm as default
Join date: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 8,839
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04-29-2009 01:03
From: Har Fairweather Sometimes ignoring it works - sometimes. Often it does not. Consider developing your talents for sarcasm and humiliating insult. "If you want peace, prepare for war." Hmmmm, interesting. Pep (must try that sometime)
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Hypocrite lecteur, — mon semblable, — mon frère!
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Elanthius Flagstaff
Registered User
Join date: 30 Apr 2006
Posts: 1,534
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04-29-2009 01:28
Unfortunately I have this character defect that forces me to taunt people who try to harass me. Doubly so for people who try to threaten me.
There's two possibilities. Either I've never been properly harassed or all online harassment is laughably weak. Despite coming across some very angry people who really felt like I wronged them over very serious amounts of money they've always got bored or scared away by my torrent of mocking after a day or two.
So that's my advice. If someone tries to harass you just laugh at them and egg them on to even greater effort.
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