I don't know what to do!

Hey all..

Okay so with regards to my previous post about having a protector.. I so wish I had one now!

I was hanging out at one of my fave regular places and another girl then offered me friendship..I don't know her but have seen her there many times so I just accepted thinking what harm can it do.

The thing is and I know this sounds really big headed and awful but she is now a fan! I was working in my home on some pictures for a new blog I am starting and she must of TP'd in from my profile, I did not notice as I was in and out of PSP working on my pictures..

I was really polite and explained I was a little busy so could not hang out right now.. she said "oh no problem I will sit and wait" I am too polite to say what I want to say and that is "please go away!"

So I told a little fib and said I had to sign off... and I logged out... I gave it a little while and logged back in and as soon as I did she tp'd straight to my home again

I know the obvious thing is to eject her, but what is really awkward is that she is really sweet, means no harm and hangs out at one of my favourite places..so I would hate any confrontation

I can not even get on long enough to uncheck her seeing me online... again I dont want to just remove her from friends because silly as it sounds I don't want to hurt her feelings!

She is not new, though because of her account status I feel ok posting this here as she wont be able to see.

Oh what do I do? She does not speak much English so it will be a nightmare trying to explain that its a bit rude what she is doing

Accck! there was so much I wanted to get done this morning to!

If it were me, I would remove her ability to find you on the map. Then go to a good sandbox, up in the sky a few hundred metres and put busy mode on so her IMs don't get through to you.

When you do speak to her, just say that when you're working on whatever you make, you need to concentrate and go in and out of SL while logged in to work on PSP.

Maybe she read your "Feel a bit alone" thread and thought you could use a friend?

Thanks for your reply She cant see me on the map.. she is using my profile to TP in to my home.. I will be working on that as soon as I can! Its from where I have put pictures in.. its shows the place you have done it.

I managed to just get on now.. but logged into a random sim instead, so if she goes to my home and I am not there, she may not stay.

Very true.. and to be honest usually it would not be a problem.. I love making new friends its just I am busy and she is not listening to me and I don't want to be rude to her

Wow, awkward situation. Particularly if you can't speak the same language to explain.
How about just saying something like: 'I'm sorry but I am working on something right now and I don't have time to talk, so why don't you come back some other time.'
If you keep the wording simple she should still be able to understand. Good luck.

You need to be cruel to be kind. Make it clear that although you are happy to be friends, you are quite busy and can't see her all the time you are online. Tell her that you value your privacy and request that she doesn't tp to your home without being invited first. As a first step remove your visibility to her in your friends list so that it's not so obvious when you are online, and if it's set, disable her ability to map you.

If she doesn't take these strong hints then you may have to ban her from your land and ultimately mute her. Hopefully it won't come to that. She may just be enthusiastic about her new friendship, but needs to understand that you need your space.

It may be a little awkward for you now, but if you don't deal with it straight away you risk storing up heartache for both you and her in the future.

All the best..

Nick

Put ban lines up when you are busy.



I wish I could do that in real life with univited guests,lol.

Putting your home in your profile is not a good idea in my opinion, if there is no business need for it. Simplest thing , if you don't want to keep her as a friend, defriend her. Once she is removed from your friends list, she won't see you online. Otherwie make her understand that your home is your space and to please ask before coming to visit., as I've had to do in a couple of situations. What I do since my friends list isn't that big, I turm evryone off before I log off, so when I log on I can decide what to do, seeing whicgh of my friends are online, although I do admit I've forgotten on occasion and it has made for a bit of embarrasment, when running into someone.

I normally work in my skybox and put busy on when I don't want to be disturbed. If they still fly up to a skybox 500m or so up, you could put a security orb around it.

how i personally would handle it, different styles for different folks: I also would recommend that you not have your home in your profile, unless it is also your place of business. Good reason to have two places!

Taking her off your friends list might be a little abrupt. Personally, I would try just setting her in Friends so she cannot see your online status? Then she won't get notification that you're inworld, tho she can figure it out if she goes looking. And yes, next time you do see her, I think it would be totally acceptable to say you need to work a lot, and that she should IM you first before just popping by. And mention that if you don't respond, it doesn't mean that you are ignoring her in particular, you're just busy.

Then you can mute her if you wish ... she does not get any notification that she's been muted.

Woah, security orbs, muting, and ejecting instead of just being honest with the person?

Yeah, there are lonely "puppy dogs" out there who are just seeking company and don't take subtle hints about it. So as suggested above don't be subtle, just be frank.

Also, those who cannot fluently speak (type) a foreign language can generally understand written text far better than you might expect from their writing.

I don't see the big deal. If you don't want to delete her from your friends list, then just uncheck the box so you appear invisible to her. Then remove the LM in your picks to your home. (go to a neutral spot and resubmit it) And I always have my home set to "Users cannot create Landmarks" that may be a good idea. Then if that doesn't work. Figure out what language she is talkin... find someone to translate and tell her its not polite to just pop in...

Of course if all else fails OR you wanna have a lil fun with her... grab a partner, get nekky and show yourself visible to her and wait for her to tp in. Could go one of two ways.. either she freaks and NEVER tps in uninvited again.. or ... *shudder*

Thank you for all your replies, I did mange to get on and remove her from seeing me online, that was the difficult bit at first because the 2nd I logged in.. she showed straight up at my home, I was not quick enough each time to un check her.. if that makes sense and a couple of times I did log back in, she was sat waiting for me on my couch!

She is really sweet so I hate seeming a meanie.. I did in the end send her an IM when I was not busy, (remembering to check her again to see me online so she did not guess).. and I offered to take her shopping for some nice things..as though she joined in Jan she is still completely newbie and that was what she kept saying to me, that she liked my hair and stuff..

That was a lot of fun! She is now completely made over and she is over the moon! I also managed to say as we were out and about that she should not just arrive at my house, I managed to explain that I might be "entertaining" one day and how embarrassing that would be! She laughed and agreed! I think she understood... but when I said I have to go now we said our goodbyes.. after a couple of hours offline I logged back in...

And guess who showed up!? In about 3 seconds from logging in! I had forgotten to uncheck her again after our shopping trip!

I am going to speak to her, I hate being hurtful to people, I really hate it.. but I am going to really speak to her, as she may do it to someone else and get a mouthful thrown at her She is to sweet for that!

Oh well.. hey ho!

You could also remove her ability to see your online status. This might minimize her--popping in. Or if you want to remover her, I usually wait till people are offline--then delete them from my list. Most don't notice it for a while!

Maybe she wants to be "entertained"

Seriously though, think about getting a security orb for your home. You can add those you don't mind dropping by univited and temporarily add people by invitation only.

There's also ones you can disarm temporarily to invite friends over. You actually get a warning when you arrive home saying something like 'do you want to disarm the system now because it may accidentally send your invited guests back home'.

Those security orbs are life savers! LOL

But this won't help the situation here. The gal will keep asking why she can't come in! How sad will that be when she keeps TPing in, then gets whisked away by security. ROFL