Warning: Attempted humour in the face of adversity
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Fluf Fredriksson
Registered User
Join date: 8 Feb 2007
Posts: 248
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10-16-2007 17:26
For those of you not in the UK, or who have never come across Viz. Viz magazine published helpful tips for everyday living with simple but insane solutions. I've simply adapted the style to SL's reality... -=- Have your hair and shoes up your bum? Save all those extra mouse clicks and don't bother detaching and re-attaching them! Simply wait for SL to crash then log-in again! Tired of waiting for that crash and re-log to put your hair and shoes in the right places? Save on hairdressing and footwear costs and go bald and barefoot! Bothered by a troublesome rotating cube near your home? Simply pay the owner 20,000L$ and your problem will be solved instantly! Annoyed by items failing to rez in-world and causing you problems? Simply select your entire inventory and drag it somewhere safe like a public sandbox. Then simply re-take all the items that rezzed correctly! Irritated by noobs chatting you up while proudly displaying unfeasibly large genitals? Simply dress as a noob and wear unfeasibly large genitals. I guarantee they'll stop trying to chat you up! Finding group messages are getting to you even though you turned group notices off? Simply leave all groups and never worry again! Just ask your friends if you want to know what's going on as they will have all the group messages whether they want them or not! Am sure there are plenty more ...  |
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Isablan Neva
Mystic
Join date: 27 Nov 2004
Posts: 2,907
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10-16-2007 17:52
What does it say about humanity that for so many men "your world, your imagination" manifests itself in unfeasibly large genitals? 
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 http://slurl.com/secondlife/TheBotanicalGardens/207/30/420/
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Pie Psaltery
runs w/scissors
Join date: 13 Jan 2004
Posts: 987
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10-16-2007 17:58
From: Isablan Neva What does it say about humanity that for so many men "your world, your imagination" manifests itself in unfeasibly large genitals? It says they will be blissfully happy with all the women who manifest themselves with unfeasibly large breasts. |
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Har Fairweather
Registered User
Join date: 24 Jan 2007
Posts: 2,320
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10-16-2007 18:15
From: Pie Psaltery It says they will be blissfully happy with all the women who manifest themselves with unfeasibly large breasts. especially if they match. |
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Finora Kuncoro
Impish Stoic
Join date: 11 Dec 2006
Posts: 213
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10-16-2007 18:24
Tired of SL's in world search only returning hits for shops selling unfeasibly large genitals or accessories for women with Dow Corning sponsored breasts ? Simply wear a blindfold and click through randomly, buying up whatever you come across. SL's robust industrial strength asset management server will automatically sort your purchases and only store those things you really wanted in your inventory... Oi I remember Viz and it's surreal humor. Has it really been that long since I read it. Oh well I guess I've lived in the USA too long 
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<Now fully Trout Certified>
I give you a solid 8.2. You can come across as very pure if you want to, but inside, you're a dirty, dirty girl. Shame on you, and congratulations.
Designer of clothes and owner of Built For Sin Designs. Come visit us at: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Centaur/5/85/399/
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Dina Vanalten
Registered User
Join date: 24 Dec 2006
Posts: 268
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10-16-2007 18:38
From: Fluf Fredriksson For those of you not in the UK, or who have never come across Viz. Viz magazine published helpful tips for everyday living with simple but insane solutions. I've simply adapted the style to SL's reality... -=- snip... Annoyed by items failing to rez in-world and causing you problems? Simply select your entire inventory and drag it somewhere safe like a public sandbox. Then simply re-take all the items that rezzed correctly! snip... Am sure there are plenty more ... Thank you, thank you thank you. At last, the only sensible answer to the question I asked a while back: "Is there any way to test the integrity of all the items in my inventory." And I wouldn't have to take back the ones that rezzed correctly. I just wait and they get returned to me automatically. |
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Carli Dancer
Registered User
Join date: 15 Aug 2006
Posts: 411
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Oh my its just so B I G
10-16-2007 19:16
From: Isablan Neva What does it say about humanity that for so many men "your world, your imagination" manifests itself in unfeasibly large genitals? It says a lot of women are going to be virtually sore. From laughing so hard |
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Jaye Jeffries
Jaye Jeffries
Join date: 21 Oct 2006
Posts: 23
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10-16-2007 19:35
Maybe not so humerous, but you kinda have to laugh at some of the things you experience in SL. This is my attempt to put just a little cynical spin on those things I have found annoying in SL, a kind of behavioural procedure list: /rant 1. Don't bother warning the newb who just teleported into your group sandbox and started firing off a weapon randomly that that behaviour is considered rude and improper in SL, just orb him with your newly purchased orb/disfigurement gun. It's the thought that counts, right? (also, be sure to tell everyone about how you "taught him to respect the rules"  2. Completely surround your house and property with ban lines, install lockable doors and gates, buy several security drones with 5 second warning countdowns, elevate your property 500 feet into the air, make it a no-script, no-build, no-push zone, hide from your friends, wear an invisprim, abstain from text and voice speech, decline all offers of friendship, inventory and TP's, and then sit by your deluxe swimming pool in your futuristic, mansion-style home with your martini and contemplate why SL just isn't what it used to be. (What ever happened to those random newbs and explorers who used to drop by?) 3. Buy/create a child avatar, wear an inappropriately short skirt and low cut top, then shout "paedophile! Sicko!" when an adult AV comments on your attire. No doubt any surrounding AV's will join in the witch hunt. This can be *lots* of fun, experiment!! (No seriously guys, don't do this) 4. Be critical of other religions, especially those that aren't mainstream. If a member of your discussion group suddenly disappears in the middle of your rant, he probably crashed. yeah.... he'll be back.... for sure. 5. Don't check profiles, and claim ignorance on something that is stated *clearly* in somebody's profile. After all, it's not your responsibility, right? 6. Don't hesitate to bash Furries, Trekkies, Homosexuals, Goths, Lindens, Newbies, campers, shop owners, builders, scripters, texturers, people wearing prim hair, people not wearing prim hair, oldies, non-lindens, bisexuals, straights, males, females, shemales, land owners, non-land owners, and.... oh, somebody's mother. Always a good place to end. 7. Don't be civil. Use cuss words. Be reactive. Don't try to understand, just go on the offensive. It's about right and wrong, and you *do* want to win this battle, right? In retrospect, perhaps this is more a list of things 'not to do'? (I'm hoping you picked up on that!) Ok, /end rant |
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Tod69 Talamasca
The Human Tripod ;)
Join date: 20 Sep 2005
Posts: 4,107
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10-16-2007 21:47
From: Jaye Jeffries
3. Buy/create a child avatar, wear an inappropriately short skirt and low cut top, then shout "paedophile! Sicko!" when an adult AV comments on your attire. No doubt any surrounding AV's will join in the witch hunt. This can be *lots* of fun, experiment!! (No seriously guys, don't do this)
ROFLMAO!!! Best one EVER!!! 
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really pissy & mean right now and NOT happy with Life.
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Imnotgoing Sideways
Can't outlaw cute! =^-^=
Join date: 17 Nov 2007
Posts: 4,694
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12-18-2007 17:40
From: Jaye Jeffries ...3. Buy/create a child avatar, wear an inappropriately short skirt and low cut top, then shout "paedophile! Sicko!" when an adult AV comments on your attire. No doubt any surrounding AV's will join in the witch hunt. This can be *lots* of fun, experiment!! (No seriously guys, don't do this)... That skirt is going right back on after the holidays. (^_^)y |
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Alyx Sands
Mental Mentor Linguist
Join date: 17 Feb 2007
Posts: 2,432
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12-19-2007 04:57
Viz. Love it, read it for the first time when I was seriously underage for it....
On the topic of unfeasibly large genitals: May I just mention Buster Gonad and his Incredibly Large Testicles? With him, I learned TWO interesting new English words at once. Okay, so I was 12 and on my first holiday abroad, but I really liked it! So...educational!
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~~I'm a linguist. RL sucks, but right now it's decided to be a little less nasty to me - you can still be nice to me if you want! ~~
->Potestatem obscuri lateris nescitis.<-
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Tod69 Talamasca
The Human Tripod ;)
Join date: 20 Sep 2005
Posts: 4,107
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12-19-2007 05:05
From: Fluf Fredriksson
Tired of waiting for that crash and re-log to put your hair and shoes in the right places? Save on hairdressing and footwear costs and go bald and barefoot!
LOL! My Favorite!!! And yes! As a zombie, I walk around barefoot & bald (hair would cover the exposed brains)
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really pissy & mean right now and NOT happy with Life.
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Cherry Czervik
Came To Her Senses
Join date: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 3,680
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12-19-2007 05:23
From: Alyx Sands Viz. Love it, read it for the first time when I was seriously underage for it....
On the topic of unfeasibly large genitals: May I just mention Buster Gonad and his Incredibly Large Testicles? With him, I learned TWO interesting new English words at once. Okay, so I was 12 and on my first holiday abroad, but I really liked it! So...educational! Alyx ... that would be unfeasibly large testicles ... giggles. /me puts in a word here for Millie Tant ... Syd ... etc |
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Ravanne Sullivan
Pole Dancer Extraordinair
Join date: 10 Dec 2005
Posts: 674
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12-19-2007 10:04
From: Isablan Neva What does it say about humanity that for so many men "your world, your imagination" manifests itself in unfeasibly large genitals? /me holds her thumb and forefinger about two inches apart. Q: What's this? A: Six inches to a man. |
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Ava Glasgow
Hippie surfer chick
Join date: 27 Jan 2007
Posts: 2,172
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12-19-2007 11:40
From: Pie Psaltery It says they will be blissfully happy with all the men who manifest themselves as women with unfeasibly large breasts. /fixed |
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Imnotgoing Sideways
Can't outlaw cute! =^-^=
Join date: 17 Nov 2007
Posts: 4,694
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12-21-2007 04:37
From: Imnotgoing Sideways That skirt is going right back on after the holidays. (^_^)y On second thought.... I couldn't wait.... I just joined some other kids and bought the xmas ribbons from B@R so I'm a gift wrapped brat now. (^_^) Do Not Open Until Christmas...... 2015 (^_^)y |
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Claire Silverspar
Pokes Badgers With Spoons
Join date: 31 Oct 2007
Posts: 5,375
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12-21-2007 04:56
Viz is still around... my stepfather type person reads it. Apparantly it has been around for years but that is a bit before my time. I don't read it but it causes a lot of hilarity with him.
I'm going to have to dig out a copy...
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 I'll miss this damn place. I'll be over at SCII after the end has come.
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Isabel Crispien
Registered User
Join date: 2 Aug 2006
Posts: 4
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12-21-2007 07:01
From: Jaye Jeffries Maybe not so humerous, but you kinda have to laugh at some of the things you experience in SL. This is my attempt to put just a little cynical spin on those things I have found annoying in SL, a kind of behavioural procedure list: /rant 1. Don't bother warning the newb who just teleported into your group sandbox and started firing off a weapon randomly that that behaviour is considered rude and improper in SL, just orb him with your newly purchased orb/disfigurement gun. It's the thought that counts, right? (also, be sure to tell everyone about how you "taught him to respect the rules" 2. Completely surround your house and property with ban lines, install lockable doors and gates, buy several security drones with 5 second warning countdowns, elevate your property 500 feet into the air, make it a no-script, no-build, no-push zone, hide from your friends, wear an invisprim, abstain from text and voice speech, decline all offers of friendship, inventory and TP's, and then sit by your deluxe swimming pool in your futuristic, mansion-style home with your martini and contemplate why SL just isn't what it used to be. (What ever happened to those random newbs and explorers who used to drop by?) 3. Buy/create a child avatar, wear an inappropriately short skirt and low cut top, then shout "paedophile! Sicko!" when an adult AV comments on your attire. No doubt any surrounding AV's will join in the witch hunt. This can be *lots* of fun, experiment!! (No seriously guys, don't do this) 4. Be critical of other religions, especially those that aren't mainstream. If a member of your discussion group suddenly disappears in the middle of your rant, he probably crashed. yeah.... he'll be back.... for sure. 5. Don't check profiles, and claim ignorance on something that is stated *clearly* in somebody's profile. After all, it's not your responsibility, right? 6. Don't hesitate to bash Furries, Trekkies, Homosexuals, Goths, Lindens, Newbies, campers, shop owners, builders, scripters, texturers, people wearing prim hair, people not wearing prim hair, oldies, non-lindens, bisexuals, straights, males, females, shemales, land owners, non-land owners, and.... oh, somebody's mother. Always a good place to end. 7. Don't be civil. Use cuss words. Be reactive. Don't try to understand, just go on the offensive. It's about right and wrong, and you *do* want to win this battle, right? In retrospect, perhaps this is more a list of things 'not to do'? (I'm hoping you picked up on that!) Ok, /end rant About the only one on the list I can find an objection to is number 7. The rest all seem like admirable enterprises. |
