Intimate Middleground?

Is it just me, or is the immersionist middleground between intimate roleplayers and intimate realists becoming a scarce breed of resident lately? I'm meeting lots more people squarely fixated on a RL to RL connection with someone, and don't care about the SL fantasy. At the same time I'm seeing lots more classic RP'ers where the only thing that matters is the story, emoting, and text, and really don't care about the rest. Almost seems like the demographic has changed a bit. Someone pull the fire alarm while I had my iPod on or what? lol

*shrug*

Hasn't been my experience. Could just be the people you're meeting.

Agreed. it seems everyone is becoming either/or. And it seems less people are willing to dip their toes in the water of the other side. It's getting tough being a middle grounder.

I wasn't here for the beginning of Second Life, but I would guess that the first "settlers" come from roleplaying backgrounds. The same enthusiasts who had fun with MUDs and then EverQuest would be the first to tackle Second Life. They are there for the immersion.

Second Life's doesn't seem to advertise itself based on the immersion. It seems to advertise itself based on real world benefits- earn "real" money, use it as a space for real business, meet friends.

To someone without prior experience playing roleplaying games, the immersive quality probably seems like a foreign concept.

It does resemble the dynamics of the last MMORPG game I played though (City of Heroes). I was one of the first to play when it went online, and it was roleplay, immersion heavy. After a while, a wave of players for whom City of Heroes was their MMORPG, who were less interested in immersion, and more interested in the game aspect.

I personally don't treat Second Life as a roleplaying game, but I do like to maintain the illusion that it is its own world. It irks me when people refer to my physical presence in Second Life as something that isn't me. As in, for example, "Your avatar looks great," instead of saying, "You look great."

Last summer when I was exploring certain "Intimate Gay Hang outs" it always came down to certain rl stuff and it became truthfully bit awkward for me.

For lot of people it works, for me it just became uncomfortable.

I think for me there is part of it that wishes it was more real then role play and then it gets
just depressing and no longer fun.

I guess if you're having fun and okay with what is occuring and it harms no one it doesn't really matter or shouldn't.

*nods* I'm glad I'm not the only one who's noticed.


That's sort of what I was referring to. The people who like to live through their AV and experience things AS their AV, through their eyes. Not the ones who use their AV as a tool to make RL connections, or as a prop in an RP storyline. Not even sure if that group has a name so to speak, but I'm definately in that catagory and it's just freaky lately how few of them I seem to run into "out in the wild".


If talking "relations", then yes I agree with that one too. Very difficult to be on the same page if you're both reading from seperate books.

I think you're right, there does seem to be more emphasis on a RL connection for an increasing number of people now and it's my opinion that the introduction of voice has a lot to do with that.

I realise there are a lot of instances where it's a boon, but personally I mostly feel feel that chatting in voice instead of text pulls me right back into my real life self and destroys a lot of the identification with my av. It seems somehow to separate me from the SL world and might then just as well be an ordinary phone conversation.

--
Aes

I think it's almost impossible to be in the "middle ground" between "Intimate RL" and "Intimate RP" in SL. If you are a roleplayer, and consider intimacy in SL to only be roleplay, you pretty much stay away from the realists, so you don't give them false expectations that you have no intention of following through on. If you are a realist, and expect any SL intimacy to possibly/probably lead to RL intimacy, then you would never want to start a relationship with a roleplayer who only sees it as fictional entertainment. I would expect a large percentage of the people in SL who have been hurt by an SL relationship are pairs with one member from each camp, and mis-matched expectations. (The remainder would be Realists who would have hurt each other anyway in a RL to RL encounter, or Roleplayer's whose RL partner doesn't "get" that the stuff on screen is only fictional entertainment to their Partner.)

I'll agree that the majority of the early adopters of SL were probably at least to some extent roleplayers. Whereas the more recent residents, who have never known SL without Voice, and who were probably already into Twitter, MySpace and other RL to RL social connections, would be more likely to see SL as someplace for RL to RL connections as well.

Well I'm not a role player, but I was a staunch believer in the fantasy of SL. I didn't want to break that fourth wall because it also breaks my suspension of disbelief somewhat. That's why I was opposed to voice when it first came out and everyone thought people would actually use it all the time.

However I have been leaking a little RL info here and there, and nothing has changed. So I could be happy with a middle ground. Besides if I still want anonymity I still have an alt. (But he's just as prudish as me, so what's the point really?)

I am not really into role play, I don't act really well but I have some intimate roleplay and non role play moments in SL sexual and nonsexual that were very inspirational that sort of rekindled feelings that I maybe I should take more risk in real world with real people after I lost a whole lot of faith in my fellow humans.....so in that sense even if your friends dress up as nurses and role play a tragedy in your real life to help you find laughter in creepy red flag nurses there can be a lot of healing in those real life roleplay type of connections with those who geninuely care about me just not my physical appearance of my pixels.

Yet I also understand the need to want to escape your rl self and be someone else but regardless of who we are in rl, our rl feelings, needs and hungers slip in our intimate virtual encounters even sometimes the unpleasant aspects of ourselves and other people.
I have been very fortunate to have same handful of people who I truly love, who love me in SL for entire length of time I have lived as FD, and have acquired really wonderful friends even when I have taking break from SL that I love and think of daily, I know they feel the same and its not role play, its very genuine even though its extremely rare for me in my rl to experience this in same ways it still real.

I agree that the dynamic has changed, but I think what's really happened is there are just plain more SL = RL+ people now; the hardcore RPers have always been there, perhaps they're just more noticeable now in contrast to the new breed of MySpace types.

I think I'm a middle-grounder. I don't play a role in SL; when you talk to Wildefire you're talking to me. But I am not that open about my personal life, except with close friends, and I don't hand out personal photos willynilly. I'm more of a Facebook type I guess.

Dunno. I tend to straddle the line an have feet in both camps. Ain't seen much guff either way.

Dana - Yes I have noticed this too but I meet many many more people who want to approach SL as a chat program/RL extension than I meet rp'ers. Maybe because roleplay requires a bit more effort, skill, even imagination of a certain type.

I like balance and it would be nice to be able to roleplay yet know some things but not privacy leaking things about the other person or they about me. In other words, what makes the person them *on the inside* but then the problem is how many have the insight or honesty to let that cat out of the bag? Accurately?

Of course some of that comes across regardless, so it depends how far you want to take getting to know someone spiritually/intellectually - past a certain point it's up to them and their feelings about sharing those things, and insight into themselves when discussing their own 'self' and viewpoints.

This is like a 3 AM dorm discussion. Lol.

/me resists the urge to delete, upon seeing this in light of day...

I rp in rl from the time I wake until the time I retire to bed. Why should sl be any different?

Pep (Just because I don't have wings, big floppy ears or black leather socks)

Clarrisa nothing you said is that bad or embarrassing to me, it pretty sweet, and stuff.
Best type of connection is one that touches your soul and some deep place within be roleplay or just friendship I think. It reconnects us to what is about being human, regardless if we want to pretend we are immortal creatures, wizards, big scary wolf plotting to eat little red riding Hood in chains, elf or fairies.

There are enough people using Second Life that it's possible to find enough people who enjoy Second Life in the same way that you want to.

I think some residents waste a lot of time trying to convince other residents to change.

I always establish my boundaries early, and as soon as those boundaries aren't respected, I don't waste time repeating them- I just move on. And likewise, I respect others' boundaries.

One of the things that Second Life does fairly well is give us the tools to find the people with whom we'd like to associate. Profiles are a great way to express one's preferences, and I read profiles avidly. (And should do better writing my own.)

The middleground would be the crazy mixes of both, some, or none huddled in between those 2 big groups IMO, but I also think it's about how you personally view yourself in SL, not just what SL is for you. For myself, the middleground is some of both RL and RP, but only up to the point where it starts to conflict with the immersion in SL itself. Something as simple as a RP'er taking a storyline beyond whats seen on the screen, or a RL'er asking what I'm wearing in RL can be train wrecks because 1) I can clearly see myself NOT doing what was just said.. and 2) moot question.. I'm wearing what you see me wearing. Maybe it's the conflicting self-definitions of the word "I" that sets the different groups apart. "I", the RP character would be different from "I", me who exists within SL context, and different still from "I", the one out here behind the keyboard... dunno.



That could be a lot of what I'm noticing lately. There's no doubt about there being many more RL'ers around, Myspace/Facebook crowd or what have you. Maybe the middleground people I'm seeing much less of recently are just getting drowned out by all that, and like you say the RP'ers are easier to see in contrast. Ty good point



Lmao.. yes it is! Good thing I didn't say it was the "dammit, quit typing and get on the poseball" types and the "you want me to do WHAT to myself in RL?!" types

Boundaries up front are good thing regardless of how or what you're doing, especially if you're playing in very intimate fantasy games where some of players lose their sense of reality and may need reminders it just a game