The Parent Trap

Well we have heard about teens in the world, child avis who seek parents, adoption agencies, pregancy and all the human aspects of teh robotic virtuality we inhabit. So ...
Lets hear it from teh parents.
Are you a parent in sl - taht is, do you act or role play as a parent to "children" in sl and if so what is teh experience like? Was/is it a success? Was/is it murked wit failure? Would yuu recommend it to others?
Remember that not all parents have teeny children. Someparents in sl are responsible for young adults - over 18 and into 20s. A complex situation indeed even in a computer.
Is it fun? Is it a nightmare? Is it expensive? After all, teens demand cash, dont they? They cant be very realistic teens if they dont demand money.
What moral questions arise? What happens if a "parent" is attracted to a young adult over 18 who was first her/his child? Has tha happened to you? What if a dad leaves sl "home" or a mum finds teh responsibility too much and decides she would rathr be a "dancing queen"? Do gay sl members become parents here?
Share your experiences with us.

Writing a novel?















(j/k..... It's certainly a valid topic for discussion. ^_^)

Childless in rl and sl.

Honestly, who'd want to saddle themselves with one of... *shudder*... those?

Well, the RL ones do grow up eventually.

More or less.

Once upon a time, when I scripted for an in-world adoption agency, I saw some of this up-close. It certainly seemed like happy homes were the exception, and that there was nothing quite so effective as children to make the parents dissolve long-standing SL partnerships. There were also serial- and mass-adopters, and some kids also jumped from family to family as if changing wardrobe. It was all rather depressing.

Ironically, the most troublesome clients were the ones most eager to supply testimonials. (Maybe they were just glad to find an adoption agency that hadn't yet banned them?)

On the other hand, those were just the ones who got the most attention. When it all worked out, I'd never hear about it, so probably that happened a lot, too.

It does indeed work out a fair amount, but -- ironically -- rarely with the adoption agencies.

Sounds as though in SL, "Adoption Agency" is a euphemism for "Meet-Someone-Here-Who-Will-Keep-You-Busy-With-Endless-Drama Agency".

Which, possibly, some people see as desirable.

A crude comparison on my part, but an adoption agency works out about as well as an arranged marriage. :-/

That said, I've known many SL families who have been together for a long time, and done relatively well. Many, if not most of those were arranged privately and with at least some thought.

Since the Human Factor in both are similar, that certainly makes sense.

Indeed. I hung out with my would-be parents for some 4 months without the idea of "adoption" having ever crossed my mind, until they brought it up. And even after knowing them all that time, when they asked, my response was "well, let's sit down and discuss this". We had a talk about exactly what "adoption" would mean - for them and me. When I was satisfied that everybody knew and agreed on the particulars, then I accepted. In any case, it's important to note that I didn't hang out with them because I was looking for a "family". I hung out with them as just another friend on SL, albeit a rather short one...but the point is, we never planned on being a family. Because there were no such expectations, none of us had that unconscious urge to change our behavior to impress each other; thus, by the time they brought the suggestion up, we all truly "knew" each other.

I'm always a little encouraged when I hear that an adoption agency has a "trial period" before the adoption is completed, but always get immediately discouraged when I learn that the trial period is something like a week. People think a week is going to be enough time to determine whether a relationship is going to last. And bear in mind that during this period, the parents will be actively trying to "prove" that they're good parents, and the kids will actively try to "prove" they'll be good kids, so the situation is a bunch of actors acting for each other. In a month or so, when being a "good parent" or a "good kid" is not as fun anymore, or becomes too restrictive, things get all emo. Of course, the adoption agencies never keep track after the adoption is "official"; so when an agency tells you it has done 200 adoptions, they may be technically telling the truth but there's a good possibility some 170 of those adoptions are no longer extant.

I work in an agency, I see so many different types. the noob parents are the worst. they come insist they have to have a child and either don't have lins or don't any clue what they want. half the time it turns out they wanted prim babies all along and child avs freak them out for some reason. its not like I try to trick them either I take the time to explain the policies and what they'd be getting themselves into. they don't listen and they wind up hurting someone thats been rejected already a few times.

the majority of parents I met planned this out and where secure enough to choose to adopt and bring another person in and do quite well. best case senerio they all become best friends and role play great together. I see adoptions work out great. wonderful parents wonderful kids.
and yes gay and single parents do adopt as well as furries, mermaids, and even dragons which I think is absolutely boss.

our systems are set up so you get to know this kid through a note card then you go on trial with them to see if everyone meshes well. its not like drawing a lottery and putting two incompatible people together.

while I admit that a week is too short a time for some, it can be a long time for some others. I get ims from people asking if I can shorten the time and declare them adopted. but I can't. its not my system. but in the trial week people are still able to detect problems that make them cancel the trial. so I don't find the week trail discouraging. especially when you take in account adoption in real life can take years. this is sl. in sl you are not forced to stay with family especially after a year when you don't get along any more. we are all (hopefully) adults here we don't need the kind of protections and rl red tape to ensure our safety that proceeds real life child adoption. its role play. a week should be fine to see if you all get along.