How do you feel about your RL partner?

How do you feel about your RL partner being on SL partnered and telling someone online he loves them? personally for me I have just about 95% quit playing the game but it bugs me so bad when I go in and see when he is online and tells his online wife that he loves her! I realize some folks got no life in RL but I also feel like they are taking away part of mine and I am sorry but I feel there are too many lonely ass people on here wrecking others stable lives and I don't like my first life toyed with or anyone knowing anything about my lifeso my question is, he ejoys it but says he keeps it in game strictly but I it bothers me to walk by when hes in game and they are cuddled up and talking mostly RL , our marriage is strong after being married for 25yrs but it still bugs the crap out of me him saying those things to other women and he says it means nothing that it is just a game but yea I seen people before that think the grass is greener on the other side and end up loosing everything they had before because of this...opinions please?

no idea, will reply if the forum isn`t pruned by the time i`m not signle anymore

Ultimatum time. Or maybe just skip to the divorce and save time.

If it bothers you, you should not be afraid to let him know and ask him to stop. The online stuff may not be meaningful to him the way your relationship is to him, intellectually it may be possible to compartmentalize the 'virtual' from 'real.' However, your emotions about the situation are real, and your emotions are not subject to intellectual control, and you should not be afraid to let him know. You deserve to have him respect your feelings, whether he can understand them or not.

I've actually had several real life friends who found themselves in the situation of being the one who liked the virtual romance, while the signficant other objected. In no case did one of my friends consider the virtual romance anything emotionally more significant than a game of Doom might be, and in every case the friend gave up the online romance anyway, because that was important to the real life significant other.

The online play probably is just innocent to him. But your feelings deserve respect regardless.

Tell him you think it's cheating.

IBTL.

Honestly? My wife and I both play SL, and are partnered in SL. I have to admit I don't understand the social dynamics behind being partnered with someone other than your RL spouse, but I have several friends who delve into such relationships. Some of them have obviously run afoul of problems, some have not and seem to be very healthy relationships that are open to all involved. I try not to judge, as a lot of tolerance is required in this virtual world, but I have to admit I do not understand the dynamics behind these trysts.

Ditto. The person I sleep with in SL is also the person I sleep with in RL.

P2

Why are you Telling us, when it's HIM you should be talking to??

It's No strange thing at all the national Divorce rate is Over 50% No one seems to have Clue One that Honesty, and Forthrightness is CRUCIAL to a relationship.

If what he is doing is Harming you, and you Feel it's Harming your relationship then you need to sit down with him and Discuss the Matter Calmly (Save Ultimatums for the Divorce court, that's usually where they take you anyway) IF your Partner Both loves, and respects you, Your feelings will be important to him, and the idea that he is Hurting you Should be Anathema to him. You Need, Without tears, or Anger, or Histrionics of any kind Make him Understand How his actions affect you.

I Notice that you neglected to mention if YOU were ever partnered in SL with anyone, Nor do you mention whether you and he had some arrangement prior to this where his Actions were permitted. These are Important points, and very relevant to the situation.

On the whole you and he Should have Discussed the Probability of on line Romances, and Discussed your acceptable boundries BEFORE you ever entered the World. My Wife and I did, We set our limits, and we have stuck to them, But if tomorrow, My Wife said the relationships were Upsetting her, then i would have to Take them Down a few levels, and respect my Wife's wishes. Not because she is Making me, But because her happiness means the world to me. My On Line loves Know this, and THEY always tell me SHE comes First.We had Discussed Our relationships on line, and what the Limits were as well. Everyone has gone into this Fully Informed, and with eyes wide open.

It's never pleasant to Take something away when your Partner is enjoying themselves, But Your feelings need to be considered also, let him Know what they are, and ask for the respect you are Due because of the life you have dedicated to Him.

Angel.

My RL partner is my SL partner and neither of us would have it any other way. While neither of us want a polyamrous relationship in RL but that would make a lot more sense to us than having another relationship with pixels.

If I found out he was having a SL relationship, I'd be shocked and secondly it'd tell me I never knew hit at all cause it aint gonna happen.

I'm going to lock this because we have done this topic to death. It turns into a discussion on cheating and opinions there one.

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Don't let it eat you alone, talk to him about it, tell him how long it has been bothering you. The result of a conversation could be anything but keeping it to your self will just drive a wedge between you two.

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We love our pets, we love good food, we love our children, we love our cars, we love our spouses. There are different types of love, they have different meanings. People disagree if virtual romantic love is the same type of love as meatspace romantic love.