SL Romance: The Real game behind the game

I wasn't sure what to title this thread but I feel it needs discussed so I titled it as best as I could. Firstly, I will briefly explain why I came to SL. Personally for myself, I came to SL because I find alot of potential in meeting someone online as opposed in RL first because the chances of meeting someone who shares the same interest as mine in PC's and online games are higher as opposed to the alternative. Over the past several months, I have met and dated in RL a few times women I have originally met in SL. All three times they turned out to be misleading and deceptive about their intentions and nature of personality. All three times it ended in me discovering their feelings for myself had all been lies and they had only been playing with my emotions.

It had all been a game to them, and why not I guess? SL is a game after all(*sarcasm /off). My mistake was thinking that anyone could be honest when I was being honest with them. I believe firmly in being honest and forthright in all instances. I see threads all the time about us not liking teens or kids on the adult grid because the grid has mature content on it, etc. Well, frankly I have yet to see mature content, meaning, adults acting like responsible adults and not playing head games, being deceptive, crude, vulgar, and disrespectful in general of other people's feelings.

Before any flame comments are posted let me say this isnt aimed at anyone who was drawn into a relationship agianst their will, drama or whatever you wish to call it. There are alot of people who seem to do well in online dating and even have gotten married. My complaint is basicly if you meet someone, if they are being honest with you, then be honest as well, despite if you two dont share the same intention. Enough of the lies, the drama, the disrespect. SL is a game, of course I am very aware of that, but every game has rules. And with every player, there are feelings and emotions that are tied in. Deny it, reply with some ignorant comment if you want, but the fact remains the same. If you dont want to socialize with players who actively date online, then simply dont socialize with them, I am sure they will be happy not to socialize with you too.

This also applies to those who show alot of disprespect to couples who are in the process of online dating and getting to know eachother. I have seen way too many times, idiotic "players" who keep trying to smooze their way in-between a couple in SL just so they can try to get their rocks off with no intention of any kind of RL relationship with the person. If two people in SL are working on possibly something that might lead to a RL relationship, or even if they enjoy RP'ing a relationship with all its intricaticies, have some respect and dont interfere by hitting on or trying to sleep with someone's significant other.

I am not a jealous person by nature, but one thing I do not tolerate is rude, ignorant people. If someone makes a habit of speaking in a disrespectful manner to my spouse after trying the diplomatic approach(reported, talked to, etc.), they get orbited. That is the key I believe when it comes to what exactly causes "drama". That is, when two player's ideals of gaming clash. Each gamer has their own idea of what is and isnt a fun way to play online games. More people need to show respect of other gamers' ideals of online gaming and mind their own business. SL is plenty big for people not to step on other's toes. If you dont agree with someone's view or method of playing and it has nothing to do with you or your property, then dont worry about it and go about your way. I'm starting to speak in circles now I think so I will end my post, lol. As you can tell, it bothers me quite a bit at how intrusive and rude a large majority of SL gamers have become.

Hi Michelangelo,

First of all let me say that i'm sorry to hear you've been meeting the wrong persons.
Although i agree with you that it is easier to meet someone with similar interests online than in real the disadvantage is that there is no way to look someone in the eye. As well as you may think you've gotten to know someone you'll only really get to know that person once you will have met him/her in real. And even then...
Both online and offline there are plenty of cheats and players. There is no way to avoid walking into them. Just a matter of luck and maybe experience to a certain degree.

As for fellow SL-gamers bothering your partner... i'm of the opinion that that is a shared responsibility.
Whenever someone tries to make a pass at my girl i'll tell them off in a polite manner. The fact that my girl also makes it quite clear that she's mine and mine alone is enough for people to give up.
If your partner is serious about your relationship she'll take the responsibility to make people understand you have an exclusive relationship. And of course there's nothing wrong with a bit of flirting (just like in real), but part of a good relationship is working out what you both want from it and stick to that.
If you agree to have a monogamous relationship then flirting may be okay but at the end of the day you'll go home together.

I know that a lot of people with RL relationships spend their time in online communities to do stuff they can't or don't want to do in real.
You can agree or disagree with that from an ethical point of view..fact remains they're here and they're not going to go away.
So in the end if you and your partner know what you stand for noone should be able to get in the way of your happiness.

Sometimes women try to tell you things in subtle ways. When men don't pick up on them, things can end badly for both. The men think the women are playing games and the women feel trapped by men who don't get what they're trying to say unless they say it in a horribly rude way. And you can't say something horribly rude to someone who you like and want to stay friends with. As a woman gets more experience, she might learn to be clear even though it may be hurtful, but it's really hard to do. If she can't do that, she might start acting badly just so you'll dump her.

It doesn't necessarily mean that she's a cruel, lying, game-player. She might just have enjoyed flirting online but wasn't as ready as she thought she was for a RL romance. Or perhaps there just wasn't chemistry when you met in person.

What has this to do with In-World Political Science? Help me understand, please.

~ F ~