Run! Penis Snatchers!

(20th Century Fox logo, dramatic music plays)

(Wide shot of L.A. skyline with Mark Wahlberg voiceover)

"The kids used to joke about it in gym class... the penis snatchers"

(Camera tracks down to a homeless man stumbling down an alley, looking to relieve himself. He finds a dark corner, and with his back to the camera, he unzips his fly)

Man: "AAAAAAArrrrgh! My Deal!"

(Cut to busy police comand center, decked out with dozens of desks, computers, and large monitors with various maps and graphics)

Police Chief (Morgan Freeman): That's the third one this month! We gotta catch this bastard! Get Harton back here, NOW!"

(Cut to police copter landing on golf course. Wahlberg hops out, and runs over to a golf cart)

Det. Richard Hurtz (Wahlberg): "Harton, we need ya buddy!"

Det. "Eveready" Harton (Arnold Schwarzenegger): "Ah'm on vacatshun! Ah'm golfin here!"

Hurtz: "We need you. Another wiener has gone missing."

(Cut to copter cockpit Hurtz and Harton are talking)

Hurtz: "You found Bobbit's shlong alongside that road in Virginia, right?"

Harton: "Yah, it was ah leetle thing, but ah found it."

(Cut to Rush Limbaugh (as himself) signing his new book "I'm a Flatulent Moron, and Proud of it!"

Limbaugh: Gotta free up this beer rental, be right back folks!"

(Limbaugh steps up to urinal, unzips fly.)

Limbaugh: Damn you Clintons! Gimme back my weiner! Ah, what th' hell (pops oxy-contin pills).

(Cut to Harton in hospital at Rush's bedside)

Limbaugh: "I don't wanna die! Find my deelio!"

Hurtz (below his breath): "Like he ever had one..."

Harton: "A'hll find it. Never failed to find ah member."

(Dramatic music picks up. Montage shots begin.)

(Hurtz and Harton in police pursuit with a "Mr. Softee" ice cream truck.)

(Harton running thru crowded mall with pump action shotgun drawn, chasing a man in a raincoat. Harton fires, but the shot passes through man, and takes out a huge propane tank (why is it here?) which explodes)

(Harton hanging from bottom of Goodyear blimp's gondola holding a light armor hand held rocket, taking aim at a flying alien craft (which looks suspiciously like a New Beetle with a few doodads bolted on)

(Hurtz finds man hanging, minus his "business".)

(Harton watching strippers (obligatory scene in action films)

(Cut to police headquarters)

Chief: Harton, you destroyed a mall, punched a Viagra salesman, and crashed the Goodyear blimp into the LaBrea Tar Pits! You're off the case!"

(Cut to Men in Black cornering Harton and Hurtz in an alley)

MIB (Christopher Walken): "Back off, man! We mean it! Its outa your hands!"

(Cut to high orbital shot of L.A. Suddenly, a huge nuclear explosion totally destroys city).

(Fade to black, the the following titles appear)

INVASION OF THE PENIS SNATCHERS

JULY 2004

ROFLMFAO

You know there is a movie along those lines. It's French, it's called The Killer Condoms.

The only version I ever saw was sub-titled, so the humor, from a writing view is .. not all that funny, but the situations are. What I really liked was the setting ... it's an entirely French film set in New York city. Not on location, it was filmed in France, so it's really -really- strange to see how they portrayed us in the US.

It's a more or less Sci Fi/Thriller. The main character is a gay cop who stumbles on a strange case of severed penis's and viscous live condoms.

Hey, it's French ... they like Jerry Lewis.

Haha *clap clap*

Wouldn't hitting these "sorcerers" = touch = shunken genetailia? I would avoid being in a mob that involved hitting someone who could de-penis me on touch.

Someone stole mine !!!


oh wait.....


never mind