What do they REALLY mean????
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a lost user
Join date: ?
Posts: ?
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02-28-2005 19:14
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
Was that the baby?= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
The answer to "What's wrong?":
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole
MEN'S ENGLISH:
"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired." = I'm tired.
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.
"What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.
"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
"I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?
"I love you." = Let's have sex now.
"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
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Siggy Romulus
DILLIGAF
Join date: 22 Sep 2003
Posts: 5,711
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02-28-2005 19:36
Addendum:
Woman says "Hey, I'd like to have sex with you now...." -- You're asleep, wake up quick before you cream the sheets.
"What do you think?" - there is no correct answer.. just STFU and take your beating.
"How does this taste?" - I know this is some nasty ass shit, but you'll eat it, and you'll like it, or you're never ever ever gonna 'eat at the Y' ever again.
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The Second Life forums are living proof as to why it's illegal for people to have sex with farm animals. From: Jesse Linden I, for one, am highly un-helped by this thread
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Maxx Monde
Registered User
Join date: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 1,848
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02-28-2005 20:33
You forgot:
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
I love you billy! = I can't wait till he turns his back, then I can run!
Yes I'd like to date you Billy = I need a meal, and he seems desperate enough to let me order anything....hmm...lobster...
heheh.
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a lost user
Join date: ?
Posts: ?
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02-28-2005 21:39
HAHA... nice additions
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Zuzi Martinez
goth dachshund
Join date: 4 Sep 2004
Posts: 1,860
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03-01-2005 01:55
men's english
"no i don't like sports" = unless it's on tv. or live. or in the news paper. or a video game. or a fantasy league on yahoo. or i'm awake and not dead.
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Neehai Zapata
Unofficial Parent
Join date: 8 Apr 2004
Posts: 1,970
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03-01-2005 02:23
let's just cuddle -- with my penis inside you
my cock is huge -- his cock is about average, and he cums in 3 minutes
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Unofficial moderator and proud dysfunctional parent to over 1000 bastard children.
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a lost user
Join date: ?
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03-01-2005 08:21
.
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Cristiano Midnight
Evil Snapshot Baron
Join date: 17 May 2003
Posts: 8,616
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03-01-2005 10:31
From: Billy Grace Men
How do you like my new shiny apple red corvette? = I really have a tiny cock and can't attract women with my bland, shallow personality.
Women
I love your new shiny red corvette. = You can take me for a ride there tiny but I am still gonna fuck the gardener, who is hung like a horse, silly instead of you. Yay Billy I am proud of you, you have become vulgar as all get out!
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Cristiano ANOmations - huge selection of high quality, low priced animations all $100L or less. ~SLUniverse.com~ SL's oldest and largest community site, featuring Snapzilla image sharing, forums, and much more. 
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a lost user
Join date: ?
Posts: ?
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03-01-2005 11:31
From: Cristiano Midnight Yay Billy I am proud of you, you have become vulgar as all get out! Awww... Cris... I'm getting all teary eyed now... stop that! Just to set the record straight... before I was adhering to the "supposedly" PG status of the forums. I now treat them as they are, mature, and the PG status is a farce. Last I checked you were no choir boy either btw. |
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Marcos Fonzarelli
You are not Marcos
Join date: 26 Feb 2004
Posts: 748
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03-01-2005 14:18
From: Zuzi Martinez men's english
"no i don't like sports" = unless it's on tv. or live. or in the news paper. or a video game. or a fantasy league on yahoo. or i'm awake and not dead. No, I really actually do not care one whit about sports. But the rest of the Man Answers were spot on.  |
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Cristiano Midnight
Evil Snapshot Baron
Join date: 17 May 2003
Posts: 8,616
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03-01-2005 16:42
From: Billy Grace
Last I checked you were no choir boy either btw.
I haven't been a choir boy since the priest started looking at me funny. I have never had a problem with swearing or explicitness - in fact I'm rather fond of it. It can be overdone, but a well placed fuck for emphasis or, well, a fuck for pleasure certainly gets my vote 
_____________________
Cristiano ANOmations - huge selection of high quality, low priced animations all $100L or less. ~SLUniverse.com~ SL's oldest and largest community site, featuring Snapzilla image sharing, forums, and much more.
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Lash Xevious
Gooberly
Join date: 8 May 2004
Posts: 1,348
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03-02-2005 00:22
From: someone "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. I must be easy. I think that's cute.  |
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Ulrika Zugzwang
Magnanimous in Victory
Join date: 10 Jun 2004
Posts: 6,382
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03-02-2005 06:36
From: Billy Grace Men
How do you like my new shiny apple red corvette? = I really have a tiny * and can't attract women with my bland, shallow personality.
Women
I love your new shiny red corvette. = You can * there * but I am still gonna * the gardener, who is *, silly instead of you. Ugh. For a religious right-winger you sure have an unusual penchant for over-the-top vulgarity. What's wrong with you? ~Ulrika~
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Chik-chik-chika-ahh
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Roberta Dalek
Probably trouble
Join date: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 1,174
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03-02-2005 06:37
From: Ulrika Zugzwang Ugh. For a religious right-winger you sure have an unusual penchant for over-the-top vulgarity. What's wrong with you?
~Ulrika~ It's taboo and exciting? |