Second Life Forums Archive

Rose Karuna

Lizard Doctor

Join date: 5 Jun 2004

Posts: 3,772

11-22-2004 12:08

Help Lines Hear Thanksgiving Horror Tales

Fri Nov 19, 6:29 PM ET U.S. National - AP

By BETSY TAYLOR, Associated Press Writer

ST. LOUIS - Concerned about cooking that Thanksgiving turkey? Just keep in mind that if you don't slice the bird with a chain saw, stomp on it to make it fit in a pan or lose it in a snowdrift, you'll already be doing better than some other Americans.

Cooks who have questions about how to prepare the seasonal feast have long been able to call help lines, offered by turkey producers, schools or others looking to provide assistance. But sometimes, the turkey traumas on Thanksgiving have even the experts stumped.

Mary Clingman serves as director of the Butterball Turkey Talk Line in Downers Grove, Ill. It expects to take more than 100,000 inquiries through Christmas.

Some past callers stand out.

"We got a call from a guy last year whose turkey wouldn't fit in his pan. He wrapped it in a towel and stomped on it until it did," Clingman said.

Another caller cut a turkey in half with a chain saw, then worried that oil on the saw might have transferred onto the turkey. A woman in Colorado who left her turkey outside to keep it frozen realized she couldn't find it when more snow fell.

And one phone call began: "You don't know anything about kitty litter, do you?" Clingman said a woman called after her husband poured kitty litter on the bottom of a new grill in hopes of absorbing drippings. Fortunately, the grill hadn't been lit yet, so the turkey was pulled off and cooked more conventionally, she said.

Kathy Bernard with the U.S. Department of Agriculture (news - web sites)'s Meat and Poultry Hotline in Beltsville, Md., said a caller last year wanted to make her bird inside a roasting bag, but didn't have one, so had improvised.

"She pulled a dry cleaning bag off her husband's suit, and it melted onto the bird," Bernard said.

Chris Whaley, a spokeswoman for Perdue in Salisbury, Md., said people should keep in mind that the Thanksgiving meal can be as simple or as complicated as they'd like it to be.

"I do believe it's reassuring to know not everyone's done it perfectly over the years," she said.

Butterball Turkey Talk Line: 1-800-288-8372

USDA Meat and Poultry Hotline: 1-800-535-4555

Perdue Consumer Help Line: 1-800-473-7383

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My Turkey Tale

A couple of decades ago I had this huge formal Thanksgiving dinner to cook for about 25 people. I had just moved into my house and was not accustomed to the temperamental oven that I had. I was trying to cook a 24lb bird and needless to say - I would up at the end of the night with a pink bird and 25 people sitting at the table waiting for it to be nuked in the microwave.

SO....

The next year I decided to beat my temperamental oven at it's own game. I had about 20 people in my family coming that day and I got up at 5:00 AM - prepared the bird and then decided to make sure that no heat leaked out of the oven this time by "locking" it in.

hmmm... big problem - I did not realize that locking the oven initiated the "clean cycle" and the bird WAS BURNING. My brother, no help at all is staring at the oven chanting "burn baby burn". Though clearer minds prevailed and someone cut the power to the electric oven and eventually I got the sucker out of the clean cycle and it was still eatable.

SO....

The following year - I said screw that and we went out.

Happy Thanksgiving All!

_____________________

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

Ursa Falcone

Rocket Scientist

Join date: 26 Mar 2004

Posts: 1,989

11-22-2004 12:20

From: someone

Mary Clingman serves as director of the Butterball Turkey Talk Line in Downers Grove, Ill. It expects to take more than 100,000 inquiries through Christmas.

I wonder if she would be interested in SL live help?

_____________________

From: someone

Jeska Linden: I'm closing this thread because it's obviously overstepped the boundaries of useful conversation, even for the off-topic forum.

Latonia Lambert

Registered User

Join date: 24 Jul 2004

Posts: 425

11-22-2004 12:50

Several years ago, my then manager was married to an American girl. The day after Thanksgiving he told me that it was the first year she had cooked a turkey for the holiday. Her recipe said that she should wrap it in muslin to keep in all the moisture. Having none to hand, she wrapped the turkey in one of his very expensive cotton shirts. He was not amused.

Don't try this at home lol.

Latonia

Olympia Rebus

Muse of Chaos

Join date: 22 Feb 2004

Posts: 1,831

11-22-2004 14:46

One of my dad's coworkers got a free turkey somehow, popped it in his trunk and completly forgot about it. That is until it thawed, rotted and smelled up his car! D'oh!

_____________________

Zuzi Martinez

goth dachshund

Join date: 4 Sep 2004

Posts: 1,860

11-22-2004 15:46

around here you can't get five people together after thanksgiving without someone telling how they tried to fry the turkey and a family member got drunk and knocked over the frier and spilled gallons of hot oil and turkey on the lawn/garage floor/driveway. it's crazy how often that seems to happen.

don't drink and fry!

Devlin Gallant

Thought Police

Join date: 18 Jun 2003

Posts: 5,948

11-22-2004 21:57

This is why I am having meatloaf for Thanksgiving. That, and I don't like turkey.

_____________________

I LIKE children, I've just never been able to finish a whole one.

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Rose Karuna Lizard Doctor Join date: 5 Jun 2004 Posts: 3,772	11-22-2004 12:08 Help Lines Hear Thanksgiving Horror Tales Fri Nov 19, 6:29 PM ET U.S. National - AP By BETSY TAYLOR, Associated Press Writer ST. LOUIS - Concerned about cooking that Thanksgiving turkey? Just keep in mind that if you don't slice the bird with a chain saw, stomp on it to make it fit in a pan or lose it in a snowdrift, you'll already be doing better than some other Americans. Cooks who have questions about how to prepare the seasonal feast have long been able to call help lines, offered by turkey producers, schools or others looking to provide assistance. But sometimes, the turkey traumas on Thanksgiving have even the experts stumped. Mary Clingman serves as director of the Butterball Turkey Talk Line in Downers Grove, Ill. It expects to take more than 100,000 inquiries through Christmas. Some past callers stand out. "We got a call from a guy last year whose turkey wouldn't fit in his pan. He wrapped it in a towel and stomped on it until it did," Clingman said. Another caller cut a turkey in half with a chain saw, then worried that oil on the saw might have transferred onto the turkey. A woman in Colorado who left her turkey outside to keep it frozen realized she couldn't find it when more snow fell. And one phone call began: "You don't know anything about kitty litter, do you?" Clingman said a woman called after her husband poured kitty litter on the bottom of a new grill in hopes of absorbing drippings. Fortunately, the grill hadn't been lit yet, so the turkey was pulled off and cooked more conventionally, she said. Kathy Bernard with the U.S. Department of Agriculture (news - web sites)'s Meat and Poultry Hotline in Beltsville, Md., said a caller last year wanted to make her bird inside a roasting bag, but didn't have one, so had improvised. "She pulled a dry cleaning bag off her husband's suit, and it melted onto the bird," Bernard said. Chris Whaley, a spokeswoman for Perdue in Salisbury, Md., said people should keep in mind that the Thanksgiving meal can be as simple or as complicated as they'd like it to be. "I do believe it's reassuring to know not everyone's done it perfectly over the years," she said. Butterball Turkey Talk Line: 1-800-288-8372 USDA Meat and Poultry Hotline: 1-800-535-4555 Perdue Consumer Help Line: 1-800-473-7383 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My Turkey Tale A couple of decades ago I had this huge formal Thanksgiving dinner to cook for about 25 people. I had just moved into my house and was not accustomed to the temperamental oven that I had. I was trying to cook a 24lb bird and needless to say - I would up at the end of the night with a pink bird and 25 people sitting at the table waiting for it to be nuked in the microwave. SO.... The next year I decided to beat my temperamental oven at it's own game. I had about 20 people in my family coming that day and I got up at 5:00 AM - prepared the bird and then decided to make sure that no heat leaked out of the oven this time by "locking" it in. hmmm... big problem - I did not realize that locking the oven initiated the "clean cycle" and the bird WAS BURNING. My brother, no help at all is staring at the oven chanting "burn baby burn". Though clearer minds prevailed and someone cut the power to the electric oven and eventually I got the sucker out of the clean cycle and it was still eatable. SO.... The following year - I said screw that and we went out. Happy Thanksgiving All! _____________________ I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
Ursa Falcone Rocket Scientist Join date: 26 Mar 2004 Posts: 1,989	11-22-2004 12:20 From: someone Mary Clingman serves as director of the Butterball Turkey Talk Line in Downers Grove, Ill. It expects to take more than 100,000 inquiries through Christmas. I wonder if she would be interested in SL live help? _____________________ From: someone Jeska Linden: I'm closing this thread because it's obviously overstepped the boundaries of useful conversation, even for the off-topic forum.
Latonia Lambert Registered User Join date: 24 Jul 2004 Posts: 425	11-22-2004 12:50 Several years ago, my then manager was married to an American girl. The day after Thanksgiving he told me that it was the first year she had cooked a turkey for the holiday. Her recipe said that she should wrap it in muslin to keep in all the moisture. Having none to hand, she wrapped the turkey in one of his very expensive cotton shirts. He was not amused. Don't try this at home lol. Latonia
Olympia Rebus Muse of Chaos Join date: 22 Feb 2004 Posts: 1,831	11-22-2004 14:46 One of my dad's coworkers got a free turkey somehow, popped it in his trunk and completly forgot about it. That is until it thawed, rotted and smelled up his car! D'oh! _____________________
Zuzi Martinez goth dachshund Join date: 4 Sep 2004 Posts: 1,860	11-22-2004 15:46 around here you can't get five people together after thanksgiving without someone telling how they tried to fry the turkey and a family member got drunk and knocked over the frier and spilled gallons of hot oil and turkey on the lawn/garage floor/driveway. it's crazy how often that seems to happen. don't drink and fry!
Devlin Gallant Thought Police Join date: 18 Jun 2003 Posts: 5,948	11-22-2004 21:57 This is why I am having meatloaf for Thanksgiving. That, and I don't like turkey. _____________________ I LIKE children, I've just never been able to finish a whole one.