~I Like Monkeys~

I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that
odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to
look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His
name was Sigmund. He was slow. In fact, none of them were really
bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed.
Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new
environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at
high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the
spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:
they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead.
Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn
cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my
room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked
like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for
a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real
bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want
to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately
there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change
them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so
it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to
extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in
my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor
wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the
bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't
allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet
one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the
frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My
friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like
them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in
the genitals.

I like monkeys

i like ebola.

There's an evil monkey in my closet. The sad thing is, he wasn't always that way...

*cut to monkey in business suit*

Monkey: Honey, guess what? I just made partner!

*sees his wife in bed with another monkey*

*all monkeys start screeching at one another*

LMAO sister you crack me up!!
*makes mental note to not lie to Zsuz* lol

hehe I hoped you would like that...a little humor for us to read at work ;P

*hugs sissers*

damn tainted bananas

Someone who works for the same company I do is liable to be fired because of something she did related to "I Like Monkeys". I can't say any more though.

How come? Will her boss be reading this? hehe

you have to keep the monkey-mind occupied with essoteric adventures...
http://www.sluniverse.com/pics/pic.aspx?id=2346&sort=PictureID+desc&Name=daz+Groshomme

Awesome artwork, did you do that?

yes! thanks for the nice comment! I made an art gallery in Picnic (dunno the coordinates) and one in Ohno (ditto) and have some art http://homepage.mac.com/gobzine/PhotoAlbum124.html here!

I'm getting such a kick out of presenting my art within the SL universe!

My favorite part is that yellow blob thing to the left of the lady

hehe!! that's "Gene-o's little roadie" a euphemism for Geneo's well, ya know! my anatomy skillz are far superior to that pic now *cringes*

the ~title~ of this post with the ~ on either side makes it look like those red plastic barrel o' monkey toys you can chain together. how appropriate hehe..


it's totally like "nice rack......"

this is my favorite part of this thread btw

That's just how we say "Hello" for your information. Please don't call my people stupid.

Awww I sorry...Here have a banana

you're lucky he didn't start flinging poo at you!

Eeek...I better prepare just in case...

*gets some Wetnaps ready*