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Isis Becquerel
Ferine Strumpet
Join date: 1 Sep 2004
Posts: 971
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02-07-2005 12:52
EUROENGLISH - OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF EUROPE
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of Europe, rather than German, which was the other possibilty. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish":
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with " f ". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with"z" and "w" with "y". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaing "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leteres. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no more trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!!!! (Und zen ve vil take over ze vorld!!!!!)
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One of the most fashionable notions of our times is that social problems like poverty and oppression breed wars. Most wars, however, are started by well-fed people with time on their hands to dream up half-baked ideologies or grandiose ambitions, and to nurse real or imagined grievances.
Thomas Sowell
As long as the bottle of wine costs more than 50 bucks, I'm not an alcoholic...even if I did drink 3 of them.
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Torley Linden
Enlightenment!
Join date: 15 Sep 2004
Posts: 16,530
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02-07-2005 12:56
Hey, it could happen.  We are stuck with QWERTY, after all.* *unless you've gone Dvorak or with some other less-common layout |
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David Valentino
Nicely Wicked
Join date: 1 Jan 2004
Posts: 2,941
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02-07-2005 13:01
I'm all for phonetics (fonetiks). The english language is baffling in many cases, though not nearly as bad as some others. Let''s spell things like they sound!
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David Lamoreaux
Owner - Perilous Pleasures and Extreme Erotica Gallery
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Nolan Nash
Frischer Frosch
Join date: 15 May 2003
Posts: 7,141
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02-07-2005 13:03
Most other languages aren't so phonetically correct either. One must also remember that many words in the English language are borrowed from other languages.
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“Time's fun when you're having flies.” ~Kermit
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a lost user
Join date: ?
Posts: ?
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02-07-2005 13:24
From: Isis Becquerel ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!!!! (Und zen ve vil take over ze vorld!!!!!) I thought you said it wasn’t going to be German… hehe |
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Liona Clio
Angel in Disguise
Join date: 30 Aug 2004
Posts: 1,500
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02-07-2005 13:59
From: Billy Grace I thought you said it wasn’t going to be German… hehe Wow, Billy. That was the most impressive ignorance of irony I've ever seen. No wonder you're conservative.
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"Well, my days of not taking you seriously have certainly come to a middle."
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