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Garoad Kuroda
Prophet of Muppetry
Join date: 5 Sep 2003
Posts: 2,989
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06-06-2004 22:18
 RIGEL7 (AP) -- After a long battle with Federation and Klingon forces, the Borg Collective was defeated yesterday, as former pop star Brittney Spears was retrieved from cryogenic freeze and inserted into the collective, resulting in an intelligence drain that caused the central Borg computers to crash, leaving the collective defenseless against Federation attacks. "It was a logical step," said Vulcan ambassador Spock. "We simply injected the intellectual equivalent of a black hole into the collective, rendering it ineffective within a matter of minutes." The attack followed years of trials aimed at finding the most effective way to destroy the collective, which had taken over six Federation planets. After years of frustration, the victory brought success to beleaguered scientists. "We thought we had success with a woman named Jessica Simpson," said USS Enterprise Chief Medical Officer Beverly Crusher. "It turned out that her cryogenics system failed in the late 21st century, but the readings were practically the same, so no one noticed." Asked what problems were associated with Spears' assimilation, Dr, Crusher answered, "There was a significant amount of silicone, and an innate inability for independent thought. It took several attempts before the Borg realized that they hadn't already assimilated her." Ambassador Spock caused something of an incident later, when he thought he was off the record and his legendary Vulcan reserve faltered. "Holy crap, I have never met someone so stupid," he said.
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BTW
WTF is C3PO supposed to be USEFUL for anyway, besides whining? Stupid piece of scrap metal would be more useful recycled as a toaster. But even that would suck, because who would want to listen to a whining wussy toaster? Is he gold plated? If that's the case he should just be melted down into gold ingots. Help the economy some, and stop being so damn useless you stupid bucket of bolts! R2 is 1,000 times more useful than your tin man ass, and he's shaped like a salt and pepper shaker FFS!
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Moleculor Satyr
Fireflies!
Join date: 5 Jan 2004
Posts: 2,650
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06-07-2004 00:38
*laughing so hard, can barely breathe*
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</sarcasm>
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Del Dayton
British Beer Guzzler
Join date: 12 Dec 2003
Posts: 157
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06-07-2004 04:12
Brilliant  |
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Shadow Weaver
Ancient
Join date: 13 Jan 2003
Posts: 2,808
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06-07-2004 09:44
In further breaking news Historians of the federation have exclaimed to find momentary last words prior to her being frozend.
Brittany--will this hurt
Scientist #1--No you will wake up to a new future and still be young.
Brittany--Cool, cause I want to be congressman when I grow up.
Scientist #2--Freezing now!
....mutters incoherently when the process was done thank ghod I dont have to put up with that anymore. <<<takes off smok and walks out after removing mask, Justin Timberlake gets in his Limo and drives away.
In Further news with the decimation of the borg empire the need for silicon replacement parts is on the rise.
eNd transmission........
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Everyone here is an adult. This ain't DisneyLand, and Mickey Mouse isn't going to swat you with a stick if you say "holy crapola."<Pathfinder Linden> New Worlds new Adventures Formerly known as Jade Wolf my business name has now changed to Dragon Shadow. Im me in world for Locations of my apparrel Online Authorized Trademark Licensed Apparel http://www.cafepress.com/slvisionsOR Visit The Website @
www.slvisions.com
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Garoad Kuroda
Prophet of Muppetry
Join date: 5 Sep 2003
Posts: 2,989
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06-07-2004 22:10
I know you guys don't get the martian news down there, so I figured I'd beam it down to yas.
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BTW
WTF is C3PO supposed to be USEFUL for anyway, besides whining? Stupid piece of scrap metal would be more useful recycled as a toaster. But even that would suck, because who would want to listen to a whining wussy toaster? Is he gold plated? If that's the case he should just be melted down into gold ingots. Help the economy some, and stop being so damn useless you stupid bucket of bolts! R2 is 1,000 times more useful than your tin man ass, and he's shaped like a salt and pepper shaker FFS!
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