Martha Stewart's Christmas Letter

Martha's Christmas Letter

Not that I have ever been a Martha Stewart fan, but forgive me if my Christmas Joy doesn't extend beyond the prison "walls" and onto Martha. Having had my own experiences under lock and key, I generally have a lot of sympathy for those who are doing time, but this whole letter has me wanting to give Martha a big ol' bitch slap.

The sentiment starts out fine, as she talks about her fellow inmates who are "devoid of care, devoid of love, devoid of family", but she loses me with her calls for prison reform (great sentiment... how come it didn't occur to her years ago?), her veiled jabs at the lousy prison food, and all of her talk of how she'd rather be at home.

Well duh, Martha... Of course you'd rather be at home. That's because YOU'RE IN PRISON! You're there because you did the crime, and now its time to do the time. You're there because you tried to make a quick buck ilegally, and that's what happens to people who do that sort of thing.

The term "self-serving bitch" comes to mind, and it all just makes my stomach turn.

- Ace

I thought the link to the 67 page appeal filed was a very touching and homey postscript. And, because Martha is my personal hero, I shall close as she does, like all Xmas letters should.

I personally feel her being in prison and having to do the things that she is having to do will probably change her. I found her letter to be sincere. What is so wrong with her mentioning she would rather be at her home instead of prison. I know she did a really bad thing and she deserves what she got, but let's give her a chance. She might actually come out being a better person. Unfortunately for some of us to see the world differently and change our ways, something really bad has to occur in our lives. We don't realize or appreciate what we have until we fuck up in a really bad way. I speak personally and from my heart. So I guess just cut the woman some slack. She is doing her time and we can hope she will come out a better person.

FREE MARTHA!

I can see why people have issues with her I guess. But she has great taste, and I admire her work ethic and her products. I still get the magazine, I still buy the stuff, I am Martha's bitch.

Oh gawd!!!! I'm getting an erection now.

- Ace

So is Martha

LOL...

How many prims is Martha's?

- Ace

I could post about Martha's appendage but since it's Christmas... I'll spare everyone the details. It's a lovely sage green though, embellished with silk ribbon. It's a good thing.

Have you seen pictures/video of the place they have Martha "locked up" in? It looks like a friggen New England college campus!

Nothing but the best for Martha.

That's not a true statement.

Martha Stewart was never convicted of insider trading. As a matter of fact she was never even charged with the crime of insider trading. Why? Because it could not be proven.

Several people sold that stock on that day. They inferred that she acted illegally but couldn't prove it.

She was found guilty on "obstruction of justice" charges. That crime does not involve making a quick buck illegally. Her crime was professing her innocence of charges that couldn't be proven. Kind of creepy.

The situation works like this. An old lady sees you driving down the road and thinks you might be speeding. She calls a cop who then tracks you down and pulls you over. You are not speeding when the cop finds you. The old lady can't prove you were speeding and neither can the cop.

The cop asks you if you were speeding and you say, "No."

The cop then charges you with "obstruction of justice" because he believes you are lying to him to get out of the speeding ticket.

Kinda crazy, but that's what happened to Martha. I think she has handled the entire situation with more dignity than it deserves. Martha Stewart committing a federal offense to save $60k is like you robbing a bank for five dollars.

I found her letter very absorbant!

Siggy.

Neehai I'm sorry but that's a terrible analogy.

http://slate.msn.com/id/2093610/sidebar/2092803/

"From in or about January 2002 until in or about April 2002, in the Southern District of New York and elsewhere, PETER BACANOVIC and MARTHA STEWART, and others known and unknown, unlawfully, willingly, and knowingly did combine, conspire, confederate, and agree together and with each other to commit offenses against the United States, to wit: to obstruct justice … to make false statements … and to commit perjury. …"

Could it be that she was so arrogant she thought she'd be able to get away with lies? Nooooooo.... really? I find this hard to believe! Hey it's not me calling her a liar, it's the court! But I'll second it, because it's fun. Liar!

Here's MY letter to Martha:

Dear Martha,

I'm glad you're in jail. You ugly, lying, arrogant slob! HAHAHAHAHA!

Sincerely,

What you think I'd tell your lying ass my name? lol!

PS I'll never buy anything in a store with your name on it! rofl...lost one sale today in fact once I noticed "MARTHA STEWART" on it!