Trying to enjoy my afternoon dump when.....

Ok, there are 10 stalls all lined up in a row. I am on the far end, all the others empty. Why would someone HAVE to choose the stall right next to mine? He had all the other stalls to choose from. Instead he sits next to me, just a thin hollow tin wall separating myself from his own bare ass.

I had to sit there and listen to all of his ass sounds and worst of all, our two stenches mixed together and his over powered mine. So I couldnt even enjoy my own arroma.

Some people are plain clueless.

Perhaps it was the only other stall w/ tp?
Maybe all the other stalls had dirty seats?
Maybe that guy liked your shoes and wanted to admire them as he pinched his loaf?
Or perhaps he enjoys the synergy of two similar aromas working together as one?

There's that word again, "synergy"

There ARE times when I want "two to become one".

However, this is decidedly NOT one of them.

Maybe you smelled... sexy?

- T -

Eww. TMI!!

That said, I hate it too! Same goes for urinals -- hate it hate it hate it! lol

This applies to urinals, but I suppose that its just as applicable to toilet stalls.

- Ace

That was you???? You were in my favorite stall so I had to take second best

That's easily fixed! Simply turn and aim at him instead of the urinal. He'll move.

Well it wasn't me!

I'm a socially responsible person who layers paper across the water to 'deaden the fall'...

The worst part about using a public lavatory for me is that I always have to take 50c in quarters to tip the ferryman...

... who ferry's you across the ripples of the lake of piss thats on the floor.

Siggy.

This is a perfect time to reiterate the importance of the courtesy flush.

I simply don't use a public restroom if somone else is in there, or comes in while I am there. *blush*

She instead goes through a ritual that can only be called 'immaculate defication'

Me and a couple of friends were wondering how the pope shat, and whether or not the stool splished some water on his holy ass when it fell into the toilet water.
We concluded that his holiness must summon two cherubs to gently lower the stool onto his holy toilet so as not to wet himself.
I can see it now... Where is that #@$@ DEVLIN??? I haven't taken a dump in WEEKS!

The pope shits just like the rest of us... one turd at a time.

- Ace

Yeah but we were talking about the pope that day, and he has people to dress him and bathe him and all sorts of fancy rituals. So we were wondering if he had people to help him shit

What makes you think we cherubs give a shit about the Pope? No pun intended. Okay, it WAS intended.

INT. BATHROOM - CASINO
Austin enters to see a gregarious TEXAN in a huge cowboy
hat. Austin enters a stall. The Texan enters the adjoining
stall.

TEXAN
Good luck, buddy. You don't buy
food, you rent it.

AUSTIN
Too right, youth

INT. BATHROOM STALL
Austin sits down. Behind him, a panel SLIDES OPEN, revealing
Patty O'Brien. His charm bracelet JINGLES. Austin looks
back. Patty's bracelet is now garotte wire. He wraps it
around Austin's throat. Austin gets his thumbs between the
wire and certain death.

AUSTIN
(grunting)
Uh, uh!

INT. TEXAN'S STALL
The Texan can only see Austin's feet, which are moving about
frantically. He can hear the GRUNTING.

TEXAN
Hey pardner, just relax, don't force it!
Use some creative visualization.

INT. AUSTIN'S STALL
Austin GRUNTS and snaps his head back into Patty O'Brien's
crotch. Patty O'Brien GROANS in agony.

PATTY O'BRIEN
(groaning)
Ughhhhh...

Austin breaks free of the charm bracelet/garotte, grabs Patty
O'Brien's head, and pulls it between his legs so that it
hovers above the toilet bowl.

AUSTIN
Who does Number Two work for?

INT. TEXAN'S STALL
TEXAN
That's right! Show that turd who's boss!

INT. AUSTIN'S STALL
AUSTIN
Who does Number Two work for?

PATTY O'BRIEN
(quietly, straining)
Go to hell.

Austin drops Patty's head into the toilet and FLUSHES. We
hear MUFFLED GURGLING SOUNDS from Patty O'Brien.

INT. TEXAN'S STALL
The Texan hears all of this, and is now concerned.

INT. AUSTIN'S STALL
Austin reaches into Patty O'Brien's wallet. We see his Dr.
Evil ID card and Alotta's Virtucon business card with her
address.

INT. BATHROOM
Austin is leaving his stall. The Texan can see Patty
O'Brien's dead body head-first in the toilet.

TEXAN
Jesus Christ, what did you eat?

ANGLE ON THE FLOOR OF AUSTIN'S STALL
Patty O'Brien's lifeless hand hits the floor. The charms
come tumbling out: a heart, a moon, a star, and a clover. A
second later, a blue diamond falls out.

Human is a gregarious animal, he probably chose the one next to yours so that in case of predators attacking, you two would form a pack instead of being isolated.