A message from George Carlin

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but
have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller
families, more
conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more
knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more
medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up
too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray
too
seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too
much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a
living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've
been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street
to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've
done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom,
but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but
accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more
computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but
we
communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of
two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are
days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one
night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from
cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom
window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this
letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight,
or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going
to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to
you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your
side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the
only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but
most
of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from
deep
inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will
not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time
to
share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments
that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to at least 8 people....
who cares?

George Carlin

Wise man that sees things as they are... I always loved listening to his rants

I LOVE YOU MAN!!

George Carlin is my favorite philosopher. Thanks Lector.

-Ghoti

*claps*

George Carlin rocks. Thank you for that Lecktor. Did you see him on Real Time with Bill Maher? Fucking great!

More Carlin:

People who should be phased out -

-Guy who always harmonize the last few notes of "Happy Birthday"

-Guys who wink when they're kidding

-People who give their house of car a name

-People who give their genitals a name

-Blink people who don't want help

Other people who should be phased out:

Merwan Marker

Indeed !! He is THE definition of sarcasm and delivers it so beautifully it brings tears to my eyes !

EXCELLENT!

Merwan can't be phased out! He is an SL institution. I love Merwan.

Can i quote you Urusula?

--

More Carlin:

Things You Neve See:

-A puppet with a hard-on

-The Latin word for douche bag

-A junkie with leisure time

-A mom-and-pop steel mill

-Condoms with pictures of the saints

-A pimp with a low profit margin

...

I love George Carlin. He's my favorite comedian of all time, even. However, he didn't write that. In fact, he's offended that it's floating around the 'net with his name on it.

I'm pretty sure that most of the other stuff in this thread is also not attributable to Carlin.

Don't Blame George!

-Chris

Edit: By the way, just because George didn't write it, doesn't mean I don't like it. I really do agree with the overall sentiment of the first post.

Chris -

Everything I've posted is from George Carlin - BRAIN DROPINGS book, published by Hyperion.

I stand corrected and faulted with danratheritis. Thank you for that as I am a huge George Carlin fan and had indeed received it in an email from a fellow fan so neglected to vilify. However, Merwan's posts are indeed Carlinisms.

I got curious and checked... oy, 15 hours of George Carlin on audiobook on my iPod.

-Ghoti

This is from Georges website http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/home.html


"PARADOX OF OUR TIME"
One of the more embarrassing items making the internet/e-mail rounds is a sappy load of shit called "The Paradox of Our Time." The main problem I have with it is that as true as some of the expressed sentiments may be, who really gives a shit? Certainly not me.

I figured out years ago that the human species is totally fucked and has been for a long time. I also know that the sick, media-consumer culture in America continues to make this so-called problem worse. But the trick, folks, is not to give a fuck. Like me. I really don't care. I stopped worrying about all this temporal bullshit a long time ago. It's meaningless. (See the preface of "Braindroppings."



He doesnt seem to like it as much as us... We must be a bunch of weak pansy ass new agy types LOL

Heres something written by him, from his website.

RULES TO LIVE BY

Life is not as difficult as people think; all one needs is a good set of rules. Since it is probably too late for you, here are some guidelines to pass along to your children.

1. Relax and take it easy. Don't get caught up in hollow conceits such as "doing something with your life." Such twaddle is outmoded and a sure formula for disappointment.

2. Whatever it is you pursue, try to do it just well enough to remain in the middle third of the field. Keep your thoughts and ideas to yourself and don't ask questions. Remember, the squeaky wheel is the first one to be replaced.

3. Size people up quickly, and develop rigid attitudes based on your first impression. If you try to delve deeper and get to "know" people, you're asking for trouble.

4. Don't fall for that superstitious nonsense about treating people the way you would like to be treated. It is a transparently narcissistic approach, and may be the sign of a weak mind.

5. Spend as much time as you can pleading and impressing others, even if it makes you unhappy. Pay special attention to shallow manipulators who can do you the most harm. Remember, in the overall scheme, you count for very little.

6. Surround yourself with inferiors and losers. Not only will you look good by comparison, but they will look up to you, and that will make you feel better.

7. Don't buy into the sentimental notion that everyone has shortcomings; it's the surest way of undermining yourself. Remember, the really best people have no defects. If you're not perfect, something is wrong.

8. If by some off chance you do detect a few faults, first, accept the fact that you are probably deeply flawed. Then make a list of your faults and dwell on them. Carry the list around and try to think of things to add. Blame yourself for everything.

9. Beware of intuition and gut instincts, they are completely unreliable. Instead, develop preconceived notions and don't waver unless someone tells you to. Then change your mind and adopt their point of view. But only if they seem to know what they're talking about.

10. Never give up on an idea simply because it is bad and doesn't work. Cling to it even when it is hopeless. Anyone can cut and run, but it takes a very special person to stay with something that is stupid and harmful.

11. Always remember, today doesn't count. Trying to make something out of today only robs you of precious time that could be spent daydreaming or resting up.

12. Try to dwell on the past. Think of all the mistakes you've made, and how much better it would be if you hadn't made them. Think of what you should have done, and blame yourself for not doing so. And don't go easy. Be really hard on yourself.

13. If by chance you make a fresh mistake, especially a costly one, try to repeat it a few times so you become familiar with it and can do it easily in the future. Write it down. Put it with your list of faults.

14. Beware also of the dangerous trap of looking ahead; it will only get you in trouble. Instead, try to drift along from day to day in a meandering fashion. Don't get sidetracked with some foolish "plan."

15. Finally, enjoy yourself all the time, and do whatever you want. Don't be seduced by that mindless chatter going around about "responsibility." That's exactly the sort of thing that can ruin your life.


Now that's some good shit.

That was my thought too. The bit about praying too little is a dead giveaway. Carlin is a hardcore atheist and he's done a lot of bits lampooning prayer. Nice sentiments in that, but it's definitely not written by Carlin.

I still like it for the most part... Someone should have attributed it to themsselves.

I know it isn't and have already retracted within this thread mkay?

I wrote it errmm, cut and pasted it uuuh nevermind.

hehe, ouch.