Mercedes Info! Mwahahhaa!

To: Mercedes Cars UK

From: Mercedes-Benz Headquarters.



We at Mercedes-Benz feel that members of our UK operation could
benefit from knowing certain auto terminology used by your German
counterparts.



This should avoid embarrassment at our inter-departmental meetings.

Therefore before the next technical meeting please make the effort to
read and inwardly digest the following.



INDICATORS--------------Die Blinkenleiten Tickentocken

SPEEDOMETER-------------Der Egobooster

PUNCTURE----------------Die Phatte mit Bludyfucken

LEARNER-----------------Die Twaten mit Elplatt

ESTATE CAR--------------Die Bagsromm fur Shagginkinauto

WINDSCREEN WIPER--------Die Fippenflappenschittenspredden

FOOTBRAKE---------------Der Edbangenonvindskreen stoppenquik

BREATHALYSER------------Die Puffintem fur Pistenarsen

SEATBELT----------------Der Klunkenklicken Frauleintrapper

HEADLIGHTS--------------Das Dippendontdazzle ubastud

FOG WARNING-------------Die Puttenfuttendownen Fukit

HIGHWAY CODE------------Der Wipen fur Arsen

TYRES-------------------Phlattfarts

TRAFFIC JAM-------------Der Bluddinfukkin damnundblasten

BACKFIRE----------------Der Lowdenbangen mekkenme Fuckenjumpen

JUGGERNAUT--------------Der Fukkengret trucken

ACCIDENT----------------Der Bleedinmess

NEAR ACCIDENT-----------Der Fucken neer schittenselfen

CYCLIST-----------------Pedalpushen pilloken

REAR VIEW MIRROR--------Der Yokhunter TooKlosen

HOOD LATCH--------------Die Pullnob und knucklechopper

EXHAUST-----------------Der Spitzenpoppenbangentuben

CLUTCH------------------Die Kulink mit schlippen und schaken

GEAR SHIFT--------------Bigenschticken fur Kangarooshtoppen

SKID--------------------Der Banannan Waltzen

DOUBLE WHITE LINES------Overtaken und Krunchen





For your convenience, here follows a few examples on how to use these
expressions in casual conversation:



"Mein Gott, der Klunkenklicken Fraulentrapper hat mein leben gesaved,
when der Lowdenbangen mekkenme Fuckenjumpen und on

Edbangenonvindskreen stoppenquik gestomped."

meaning

"My word, I'd be in a bad way had I not been wearing my

seatbelt when the backfire caused me to apply a touch too much
pressure on my footbrake."

"Das Pedalpushen pilloken hat der Fukkengret trukken's blinkenleiten
tickentocken nicht geseht, und so hat ein Fucken neer schittensfelen
gelagt."

meaning

"The cyclist did not see the juggernaut signalling, and caused a near
accident."

We trust that this information will make it easier for our UK
colleagues to fully part-take in the upcoming discussions on a unified
road-system for Europe. We are particularily interested in the Swedish
proposal to phasing in right-hand drive in the entire EU area,
starting with only trucks and buses on January 1st next year,
following on with larger cars and vans a month later, and finally
moving all traffic over to RHD in time for the summer holidays.

We are looking forward to your continued support,



Mercedes-Benz.