Here are some tried and true tips to keep the neat niks in your life off of your back....
Cleaning Tips
Windows:
Layers of dirty film on windows and screens
provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging
rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 15 and
leave it alone.
Cobwebs:
Artfully draped over lampshades reduce the
glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic
atmosphere. If someone points out that the light
fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and
exclaim "What? And spoil the mood?" (Or just throw
glitter on them & call them holiday decorations.)
Pet Hair:
Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up
against the doorways by claiming you are collecting
it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn play animals
for underprivileged children. (Also keeps out cold
drafts in winter.)
Guests:
If unexpected company is coming, pile
everything unsightly into one room and close the
door. As you show y our guests through your tidy
home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl
and say, "I'd love you to see our den, but Fluffy
hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO
expensive."
Dusting:
If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply
place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist
that "This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her
ashes."
General Cleaning:
Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household
cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle.
Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in
conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look,
throw yourself on the couch and sigh, "I clean and I
clean and I still don't get anywhere." As a last
resort, light the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon
in a pie pan, turn off oven and explain that you
have been baking cookies for a bake sale for a
favorite charity and haven't had time to clean...
Works every time.
Another favorite, I think from Erma Bombeck
Always keep several get well cards on the
mantle so if unexpected guests arrive, you can say
you've been sick and unable to clean.