Does irritation = not loving?

If two people live together and one gets irritated at the other over petty things, is it abnormal? Does it mean they aren't in love or that the relationship isn't good?

I don't think so. We're all human and have our good days and bad, and not everyone is gifted with infinite patience. The real question is whether or not you both work to try and lessen the frequency with which you annoy each other.

My wife annoys the piss outta me sometimes...

But that don't make me not love em.

Siggy.

I feel it's "normal". Sometimes, you just honestly feel some way... and you can't explain it, but to you, the feeling is valid and real. Even if your partner didn't do anything to you actively, maybe you've begun to think thoughts and being irritated creeps out of that. Just using that as an example.

Living life (and Second Life, for that matter ) day by day, it's hard to see the big picture until you've lived through the longterm. Then you can look back together, holding hands, and hopefully treasure all those happy memories that hopefully overshadow the sad ones.

Apparently, it is not uncommon for couples to fight and then bond stronger after that. Life entails a certain amount of conflict.

It's normal for people who live together to get irritated about little things. It's only a problem if this irritation is consistantly expressed in a hostle or abusive manner.

For example, it's normal to squabble about silly stuff like how the toothpaste tube was squeezed or how high to set the heater or what time the lights go out at night.

If, howver, your partner says you're an idiot for how you squeeze the toothpaste, that only stupid people set the heater so high (or low), that you can't cook, that you're not good for anything, that you don't know how to dress, that your buddies are a bunch of dopes, that your family is crazy (in other works, nothing you think, say or do is right), it's time to jump ship.

Sometimes irritation means too much luvin'...or luv with a dirty person.

As for me, I find that there are highs and lows in my relationship...as long as the highs outnumber the lows, its all good.

Agreed. No matter how much my partner irritates, once I'm in love, I'm in love. It doesn't take but a split second for me to imagine life without him, and I know that pain far surpasses the slight aggrivations along the way. Love is the overall picture, and IMO it should not come and go. If it does, it isn't the real thing.... more likely infatuation.

I'll also add this... I tend to be one who hates pouting, sulking, and holding grudges in a relationship. What would it feel like if something happened to the one you love one day and you were on "bad terms" the last time you ever saw them? I want my sig other to always know that my love for him is always there. Each person is the sum of their life's experiences, so not everyone looks at things this way. Some people will LET their pride stand in the way of making things right as quickly as possible. I was one of those people and learned my lesson the hard way, at 18, when my best friend was killed in an accident... we were not speaking to eachother at the time... over a guy of all things.

Lesson learned: Always let the ones you love know you love them every chance you get, and don't let pettiness get in the way. No matter if it takes all day and night, fight it out, get it out, and go to bed at peace because you never know what tomorrow might bring.

I feel that if you are irritated with your partner, then there is something seriously wrong with the relationship, and it needs a lot of work.

So, if pee on your toilet rim irritates you, you have a relationship problem? Interesting.

Stormy,

Depends on your definition of 'irritate' (and please, nobody post a definition here). If it was something I didn't like a partner doing, I would ask them not to do it. If they ignored me and persisted, then it would irritate me. And, of course, vice versa. But I would hope that in a decent relationship things would not generally get to that point.

Stormy,

PS: Do you really pee on the toilet rim.

I think that in a perfect relationship partners wouldn't become irritated with each other, however, relationships range from near-perfection to why-are-we-together?? and may be long-lasting even when flawed.

Dammit Chip!!! QUIT READING MY MIND!!!!!

As always, couldn't say it better, nice one Chip!

Add one. Understanding is also important, why does "this" irritate me, is "it" deliberate or a quirk, habbit of some kind, does the other person know "it" irritates me, do I understand "why they do it" and express to them "why it irritates me", vice versa.

No way! There's good stuff in here! I promise not to blackmail

lol No I don't. He did, until I came out of the bathroom gagging and pleading, then he began cleaning his own pee off the toilet. What a sweetheart.