What's up with the Holiday 'Audibles' on Yahoo Messenger?

I noticed that some new holiday "audibles" were added today.

- There is a crabby neighbor lamenting being pelted by snowballs by neighborhood kids.

- There is a Gingerbread Man eating his own hand and saying a generic *Season's Greetings*.

- Mistletoe which says "Oh gross!" (Mistletoe is pagan btw)

- There is a melting snowflake proclaiming *Season's Greetings and Happy Holidays to all..*

- Then there is a Rabbi saying, *Oy, the holidays (yiddish) ... Happy Hannukah*

- A dreidle which says, *Haaaapppy... Hanu... kkahhhh*

- A menorah which says, *AH! Hot! AH! AH! Aaaaahhhhh....Happy Hannukah*

What gives? I am not even a Christian and am ruffled by the apparent slant toward Judaism here.

Am I the only one?

If you're gonna be generic with some, why not all? 3/7ths is bizarre.

No kidding.Christmas makes me wish I could crawl into a deep dark whole and sleep for a couple months.

Cmon Icon! Get some spirit in you! I recommend vodka

Don't wanna be grinch! - get with the holiday spirit - the commercial spirit, the true spirit of christmas

Here, let Uncle Siggy sit you down and sing you a little song to make everything better..


Christmas time is here by golly!
Disapproval would be folly...
Deck the halls with hunks of holly.
Fill the cup and don't say 'when'...

Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Fill the punch, drag out the Dickens...
Even though the prospect sickens --
Brother, here we go again!

On Christmas Day, you can't get sore
Your fellow man you must adore.
Theres time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty fouuuuuuuuuuur

Relations sparing no expense will
get some useless old utensil....
Or a matching pen and pencil!
"Just the thing I need........ how nice :| "

It doesn't matter how well meant it is
or how heart felt the spirit...
sentiment will not endear it
What's important is THE PRICE.

Hark the herald Tribune sings...... advertising wondrous things.......
God bless ye merry merchants, may ye make the yultide PAY........
Angels we have heard on high, tell us to go out AND BUY!

So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle,
Hail our dear old freind Kris Kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky.......

..... Don't stand underneath when they fly by...



I myself did rather well last xmas, I received a gift certificate good at any hospital for a lobotomy.

(disclaimer - this is an old song I remember from a very long time ago - I want to say Tom Lehrer wrote it, but I'm not sure)

Siggy.

I appreciate the sentiment siggy, but there are so many reasons why I would love to hibernate until after the christmas zombie-fest is over.

We're losing track here...

My point wasn't to lament the Holidays, although I certainly do. It was to point out that 3 of 7 Yahoo holiday greets were Judaic in origin and that the other 4 were totally generic. Just wondering why no Christmas or Kwaanza.

Fuck it. *Takes a LARGE swig of Wodka... Wybarova... mmmm...*

Two isn't enough anymore. Christmas started slightly befor Halloween this year.

Uhm, Nolan? You look like you are going out of your way to find ways to be offended now.

I'm offended by the Gingerbread Man eating his own hand while he sings a generic *Season's Greetings.

DUDE - that's just not right

Oh, little Bank Americard
You bring me Christmas Cheer
Without your clout
I have no doubt
No gifts I'd give this year.
Your credit line allows me
To run up bills quite large
And when I'm through
Exhausting you
I'll use my Master Charge.

(Same tune, sung in late February)

Oh, little Bank Americard
You bring me discontent
I calculate
Your int'rest rate
Is over twelve percent.
Each month, your cry for payments
My letter-box bombards;
I'm one more sap
Caught in your trap
Next year I'll just send cards.

(MAD magazine, circa 1970's)

Naw, wasn't offended, just intrigued. I am just suprised they didn't make them all generic.

I have a lot more things to be offended by like the fact that cherubs shit their drawers! I quit being a Christian because of that you diaper slinging swampy-ass!

What's next? Urinating Seraphim?

Strip your clothes and worship Satan
fa lala lala la la la la
For our Dark Lord we are waitin'
Fa lala lala la la la la
Raise up hordes of undead legions
Fa lala Fa lala la la la
Lubricate your nether regions
Fa lala la la la la la laaaaaaaaaa

Away in the danger
No food before bed
The little Iraqi
Lay down his sore head

The flares in the night sky
Shone down where he lay
The little Iraqi
No sleep on the way

The humvees are rolling
The poor child awakes
But no one can hear
The crying he makes

The Apaches are circling,
Fire drips from the sky
Replacing the sun,
'Til morning is nigh.

Be near me, Lord Jesus,
I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever
And love me I pray

Bless all the dear children
In Thy tender care
And take us to heaven
To live with Thee there

Since we are providing new lyrics for old favorites, here's one that's a little more serious. I didn't rewrite the last two verses, I ran out of gas and they were highly religious.

Away in the Danger

Away in the danger
No food before bed
The little Iraqi
Lay down his sore head

The flares in the night sky
Shone down where he lay
The little Iraqi
No sleep on the way

The humvees are rolling
The poor child awakes
But no one can hear
The crying he makes

The Apaches are circling,
Fire drips from the sky
Replacing the sun
'Til morning is nigh.