Second Life Forums Archive - Physics according to cats!

Charlie Omega

Registered User

Join date: 2 Dec 2002

Posts: 755

10-06-2003 02:16

The Laws of cat physics:

1 - Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

2 - Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

3 - Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

4 - Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, all heat flows to the cat.

5 - Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

6 - Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.

7 - Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top, that has anything remotely interesting on it.

8 - Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

9 - Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

10 - Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state, for very long.

11 - Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

12 - First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

13 - Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored, by a lot of napping.

14 - Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

15 - Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

16 - Law of Random Comfort Seeking
A cat will will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

17 - Law of Bag / Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

18 - Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

19 - Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

20 - Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

21 - Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible.

22 - Law of Fluid Displacement
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

23 - Law of Cat Disinterest
A cats interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

24 - Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

25 - Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

26 - Law of Selective Listening
Although a cat can hear a can of tuna being opened a mile away, she can't hear a simple command three feet away.

27 - Law of Equidistant Separation
All cats in a given room will locate at points equidistant from each other, and equidistant from the center of the room.

28 - Law of Cat Invisibility
Cats think that if they can't see you, then you can't see them.

29 - Law of Space-Time Continuum
Given enough time, a cat will land in just about any space.

30 - Law of Concentration of Mass
A cat's mass increases in direct proportion to the comfort of the lap she occupies.

31 - Law of Cat Probability (Cat's Uncertainty Principle)
It is not possible to predict where a cat actually is, only the probability of where she "might" be.

32 - Law of Cat Obedience
As yet undiscovered.

- Author Unknown

_____________________

From: 5oClock Lach

With a game based on acquiring money, sex, and material goods, SL has effectively recreated all the negative aspects of the real world.

Mega Prim issues and resolution ideas....
http://blog.secondlife.com/2007/10/04/second-life-havok4-beta-preview-temporarily-offline/

Cailyn Miller

mmm.... shiny

Join date: 11 Mar 2003

Posts: 369

Re: Physics according to cats!

10-06-2003 04:03

LOL! All very true

From: someone

Originally posted by Charlie Omega
14 - Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat

Ours never waited - after coming home to find the contents of the fridge spread over the kitchen floor (and a *very* fat and happy cat sleeping upstairs) we now have child locks on it to keep the cat out.

Oh, and another one:

Law of attention seeking
All humans reading magazines or newspapers are just asking for attention.
Collary:
Newspapers and magazines make excellent sleeping places especially when spread out over a lap.

Tiger Crossing

The Prim Maker

Join date: 18 Aug 2003

Posts: 1,560

10-06-2003 07:48

Feline Antigravity Device:

Since a cat always lands on his feet, and buttered bread always lands butter-side down... Strap a piece of buttered bread (butter-side up) to the back of a cat and drop it. The two opposing forces will, with correctly balanced quantities of butter, hover the entire unit above the floor.

This is how flying saucers work. The humming sound is actually purring.

_____________________

~ Tiger Crossing
~ (Nonsanity)

Charlie Omega

Registered User

Join date: 2 Dec 2002

Posts: 755

10-06-2003 13:26

Lol Tiger

.

_____________________

From: 5oClock Lach

With a game based on acquiring money, sex, and material goods, SL has effectively recreated all the negative aspects of the real world.

Mega Prim issues and resolution ideas....
http://blog.secondlife.com/2007/10/04/second-life-havok4-beta-preview-temporarily-offline/

Damiana Domino

Pyromaniac Lovebunny

Join date: 12 Jun 2003

Posts: 222

10-06-2003 14:23

if you find a cat who will purr with a piece of bread and butter strapped to its back then i suspect it's really a dog.

Kelwyn Gallant

Bourgeois Bohemian

Join date: 7 Jun 2003

Posts: 57

10-06-2003 14:30

"Dogs have owners; cats have staff."
--Anonymous

_____________________

Kelwyn Botanicals
-- Clementina 179,186

Devlin Gallant

Thought Police

Join date: 18 Jun 2003

Posts: 5,948

10-07-2003 18:36

Speaking of purring, we used to have a hamster that would purr. If you held it in your lap.

Ironchef Cook

-

Join date: 23 Jun 2003

Posts: 574

10-07-2003 20:01

From: someone

Speaking of purring, we used to have a hamster that would purr. If you held it in your lap.

Dev I thought it was a gerbil and you were the one who was purring.

Devlin Gallant

Thought Police

Join date: 18 Jun 2003

Posts: 5,948

10-08-2003 14:20

Hey! That's not funny ya know. I got gerbil VD cause of that.

Physics according to cats!
Charlie Omega Registered User Join date: 2 Dec 2002 Posts: 755	10-06-2003 02:16 The Laws of cat physics: 1 - Law of Cat Inertia A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. 2 - Law of Cat Motion A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction. 3 - Law of Cat Magnetism All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric. 4 - Law of Cat Thermodynamics Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, all heat flows to the cat. 5 - Law of Cat Stretching A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken. 6 - Law of Cat Sleeping All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat. 7 - Law of Cat Elongation A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top, that has anything remotely interesting on it. 8 - Law of Cat Acceleration A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop. 9 - Law of Dinner Table Attendance Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served. 10 - Law of Rug Configuration No rug may remain in its naturally flat state, for very long. 11 - Law of Obedience Resistance A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something. 12 - First Law of Energy Conservation Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible. 13 - Second Law of Energy Conservation Cats also know that energy can only be stored, by a lot of napping. 14 - Law of Refrigerator Observation If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat. 15 - Law of Electric Blanket Attraction Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light. 16 - Law of Random Comfort Seeking A cat will will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room. 17 - Law of Bag / Box Occupancy All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond. 18 - Law of Cat Embarrassment A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter. 19 - Law of Milk Consumption A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can. 20 - Law of Furniture Replacement A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture. 21 - Law of Cat Landing A cat will always land in the softest place possible. 22 - Law of Fluid Displacement A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed. 23 - Law of Cat Disinterest A cats interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him. 24 - Law of Pill Rejection Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity. 25 - Law of Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter. 26 - Law of Selective Listening Although a cat can hear a can of tuna being opened a mile away, she can't hear a simple command three feet away. 27 - Law of Equidistant Separation All cats in a given room will locate at points equidistant from each other, and equidistant from the center of the room. 28 - Law of Cat Invisibility Cats think that if they can't see you, then you can't see them. 29 - Law of Space-Time Continuum Given enough time, a cat will land in just about any space. 30 - Law of Concentration of Mass A cat's mass increases in direct proportion to the comfort of the lap she occupies. 31 - Law of Cat Probability (Cat's Uncertainty Principle) It is not possible to predict where a cat actually is, only the probability of where she "might" be. 32 - Law of Cat Obedience As yet undiscovered. - Author Unknown _____________________ From: 5oClock Lach With a game based on acquiring money, sex, and material goods, SL has effectively recreated all the negative aspects of the real world. Mega Prim issues and resolution ideas.... http://blog.secondlife.com/2007/10/04/second-life-havok4-beta-preview-temporarily-offline/
Cailyn Miller mmm.... shiny Join date: 11 Mar 2003 Posts: 369	Re: Physics according to cats! 10-06-2003 04:03 LOL! All very true From: someone Originally posted by Charlie Omega 14 - Law of Refrigerator Observation If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat Ours never waited - after coming home to find the contents of the fridge spread over the kitchen floor (and a very fat and happy cat sleeping upstairs) we now have child locks on it to keep the cat out. Oh, and another one: Law of attention seeking All humans reading magazines or newspapers are just asking for attention. Collary: Newspapers and magazines make excellent sleeping places especially when spread out over a lap.
Tiger Crossing The Prim Maker Join date: 18 Aug 2003 Posts: 1,560	10-06-2003 07:48 Feline Antigravity Device: Since a cat always lands on his feet, and buttered bread always lands butter-side down... Strap a piece of buttered bread (butter-side up) to the back of a cat and drop it. The two opposing forces will, with correctly balanced quantities of butter, hover the entire unit above the floor. This is how flying saucers work. The humming sound is actually purring. _____________________ ~ Tiger Crossing ~ (Nonsanity)
Charlie Omega Registered User Join date: 2 Dec 2002 Posts: 755	10-06-2003 13:26 Lol Tiger . _____________________ From: 5oClock Lach With a game based on acquiring money, sex, and material goods, SL has effectively recreated all the negative aspects of the real world. Mega Prim issues and resolution ideas.... http://blog.secondlife.com/2007/10/04/second-life-havok4-beta-preview-temporarily-offline/
Damiana Domino Pyromaniac Lovebunny Join date: 12 Jun 2003 Posts: 222	10-06-2003 14:23 if you find a cat who will purr with a piece of bread and butter strapped to its back then i suspect it's really a dog.
Kelwyn Gallant Bourgeois Bohemian Join date: 7 Jun 2003 Posts: 57	10-06-2003 14:30 "Dogs have owners; cats have staff." --Anonymous _____________________ Kelwyn Botanicals -- Clementina 179,186
Devlin Gallant Thought Police Join date: 18 Jun 2003 Posts: 5,948	10-07-2003 18:36 Speaking of purring, we used to have a hamster that would purr. If you held it in your lap.
Ironchef Cook - Join date: 23 Jun 2003 Posts: 574	10-07-2003 20:01 From: someone Speaking of purring, we used to have a hamster that would purr. If you held it in your lap. Dev I thought it was a gerbil and you were the one who was purring.
Devlin Gallant Thought Police Join date: 18 Jun 2003 Posts: 5,948	10-08-2003 14:20 Hey! That's not funny ya know. I got gerbil VD cause of that.

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Physics according to cats!